UNIT TWO DEALING WITH PEOPLE

objectives To make students realize the continuum of formality To point out the language features that indicate the formality and informality of invitation letters To help students learn different forms of apology To help students understand indirect complaints

Suggested topics for presentation Cultural differences in making apologies Cultural differences in expressing compliments Making up a dialogue on giving and accepting (turning down ) an invitation Making up a dialogue about making compliments and response Making up a dialogue on complaining something

The continuum:  ---×---×-----×----×---×---×----  FORMAL INFORMAL

formality: from formal to informal This continuum here can only give a very rough idea. The most formal is also the most impersonal, i.e. using the 3rd person. Then come the longer personalized phrases e.g. “I was wondering if you’d...”. Finally, direct suggestion: “why don’t you...” and direct invitation: “would you like to...”

Patterns of invitation Very formal (G & E). Pattern: So-and-so requests the pleasure of your company at …(use of 1st –person pronoun avoided, inviter/ subject in noun form; very formal expressions “request the pleasure of your company”, “R. S.V.P.”, etc.; confined to only one sentence)

Formal (F). Pattern: Formal (F). Pattern: You are cordially invited to …(passive voice; use of 1st –person pronoun avoided, inviter appears at end; confined to only one sentence)

Less formal (D). Pattern: So-and-so cordially invites you to …(active voice; use of 1st –person pronoun avoided, inviter/ subject in noun form; confined to only one sentence)

Informal (C & A). Some possible patterns: I am writing to ask whether you would like to come …, I hope you will …, I wonder whether you’ll be able to come… (free use of personal pronouns; inviter / subject in 1st- person ) pronoun form; informal language; may bring in more than one sentence

Casual (B). Some possible patterns: How about coming …? (free use of personal pronouns; sometimes omission of subject; colloquial language; may bring in more than one sentence) While comparing spoken and written invitations, formal written invitations are not used in spoken invitations.

Format of invitations For informal and casual invitations, as they are written in the form of a letter or a note, they observe the formats of letters, either formal (business) letters or informal (personal) letters or notes. The main thing about such formats is the positions of the different parts, which have been taken care of in earlier CECL units

For the very formal, formal and even less formal invitations in which you clothe the invitation in one single sentence you separate it phrase by phrase into several lines, and center every line (G, F, D). A slight deviation from this rule is found in the passive-voice formal invitation (E), in which you center all the lines except the first one which you place to the left and the end lines giving the inviter’s name and title, which you place to the right. Phrases concerning replies and admission are separated from the body and placed at the left-hand bottom corner.

The continuum:  ----×---×---×---×---×---×---×----  FORMAL G E F D C A B I NFORMAL

Invitation B (casual) 1. Free use of personal pronouns 2. Sometimes omission of subject 3. Colloquial language 4. May bring in more than one sentence

Invitations A and C (informal) 1. Free use of personal pronouns 2.inviter/subject in 1 st person pronoun form 3. Informal language 4.may bring in more than one sentence

Invitation D (less formal) 1. Active voice 2. Use of 1 st person pronoun avoided 3. Inviter/subject in noun form 4. Confined to only one sentence

Invitation F (formal) 1. Passive voice 2. Use of 1 st person pronoun avoided 3. Inviter appears at the end 4. Confined to only one sentence

Invitation G and E (very formal) 1. Use of 1 st person pronoun avoided 2. Inviter/subject in noun form 3. Very formal expression 4. Confined to only one sentence

Three usual formats of invitations 1. X invites you to a reception (party,etc) at (place) on (date) at (time). 2.You are warmly (cordially) invited to attend a reception (party, etc.) at (place) on (date) at (time). 3. X request(s) the pleasure of your company (the company of Mr. Y) at a reception (dinner, etc.) at (place) on (date) at (time).

How to invite Invite your guests with warmth and friendship!

Be sure to include in your invitation letter: the name of the person sponsoring the event (who is the host/hostess?) exactly who is invited (can someone bring a guest, spouse, child?) what type of social event is being held the date, address, and time of the event

directions or a simple map if the location may be difficult to find what type of dress is appropriate or preferred the phone number and deadline to reply; precede these facts with “R.S.V.P.” (French abbreviation for “please reply”). Try to send your invitation letter two weeks or more in advance!

1. R.S.V.P Repondez s’il vous plait 2. Admission by Invitation only 3. R.S.V.P (regrets only)/(acceptance only) 4. Potluck supper A meal at which each guest brings food that is then shared by all.Also called potluck supper 聚餐：每个客人都自带食物然后大家分而食之的一 顿饭

5. BYOF bring your own food 自带食物 6. BYOB bring your own bottle 水酒自备

How to decline an invitation Importance There will be times when you will have to decline an invitation to a special event or party. Following proper etiquette in declining will not only spare feelings, but will also make the task of planning for the occasion a lot easier on the host and/or hostess.

It may seem worse to show up unannounced, but it is equally as rude to not show up at all and give no explanation as to why.

1. Making an apology/regret 2. Giving a good reason 3. Expressing gratitude might be included

Giving a reason The key to declining any invitation is to be honest in the reason behind why you cannot attend. Write "due to a previous engagement" only if you really had made earlier plans to be somewhere else.

Lillian Eichler Today's Etiquette "It is considered by most people the greatest possible form of discourtesy to refuse an offer of extended hospitality without offering an adequate excuse."

"If you are declining simply because you don't want to go or dislike the host or hostess, but have no other plans, it is best not to give a reason, if asked, other than 'I'm terribly sorry, we're busy that evening.' This leaves you free to accept another invitation." The reasoning behind this, the book goes on to say, is that if you make up a specific excuse, you can't accept another invite from someone else without the risk of hurting those who first asked you to spend the evening with them.

If the matter is something personal, such as not being able to attend because of financial reasons, then simply state "regrets due to personal commitments". If those extending the invitation are good friends, they will more than likely get the hint. If not, proper etiquette should restrain them from asking too many questions.

If warranted, such as with a wedding invitation or other special occasion that usually entails a gift, you might want to consider including a small present or card when sending your regrets. This is a way to show that you truly are sorry that you are unable to attend. wedding invitation