Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon1 Attraction and Love  Binding Forces Chapter 7 This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; any rental, lease, or lending of the program.

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 2 Attraction and Love Attraction: The Force That Binds? Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”?

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 3 Attraction: The Force That Binds? Physical Attractiveness Is beauty in the eye of the beholder? Cultural standards for physical attractiveness exist. Can lead to taking measures to meet cultural expectations Anorexia nervosa: Potentially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a healthy body weight; intense fear of being overweight; a distorted body image; and, in females, lack of menstruation (amenorrhea). Men prefer women to be somewhat heavier than women think men do. Women prefer men to be somewhat leaner than men think women do.

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 4 Attraction: The Force That Binds? Lesbians’ physical preferences: Prefer heavier women than men Reject excessive slenderness as attractive Nonphysical traits Perceived beauty may be enhanced by such traits as familiarity, liking, respect, and sharing of values and goals

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 5 Attraction: The Force That Binds? Some facial features associated with beauty appear to be the same across cultures. Gender-role expectations affect perceptions of physical attractiveness. People who act consistent with gender-role expectations typically are viewed as more attractive. People’s names affect perceptions of attractiveness. Matthew versus Sylvester Christine versus Gertrude

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 6 Attraction: The Force That Binds? Men report valuing the physical attractiveness of prospective partners more than women do. Women report valuing the earning potential of prospective partners more than men do. Although some evidence may support an evolutionary explanation for attractiveness preferences, it does not fit all the data. Both men and women report that personal characteristics (e.g., honesty) matter more than physical features do when considering long-term partners. And many women also prefer physically attractive partners. Cultural influences can explain the findings, as well.

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 7 Attraction: The Force That Binds? Attraction-Similarity Hypothesis People tend to develop romantic relationships with people who are similar to themselves in attractiveness and other traits. Exceptions to this hypothesis happen when a lack of attractiveness is compensated for by other factors. Matching can apply to similarity in ethnicity, age, educational level, and religion.

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 8 Attraction: The Force That Binds? Attitudes: Do “Opposites Attract” or Do “Birds of a Feather Flock Together”? Similarity in attitudes is an important factor in attraction. Propinquity (nearness) – we tend to live near those who are similar to us in many ways Similarity is more important to women than to men Reciprocity Mutual exchange People like those who they think like them.

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 9 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? The Greek Heritage The ancient Greeks identified four types of love. Storge Loving attachment and nonsexual affection The type of love that binds parents to children Agape Selfless love A kind of loving that is similar to generosity and charity

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 10 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? 4 types of love (cont’d) Philia Friendship love Based on liking and respect rather than sexual desire Eros The kind of love that is closest in meaning to the modern- day concept of passion

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 11 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Romantic Love in Contemporary Western Culture Western culture idealizes the concept of romantic love. In the U.S., most people believe romantic love is a prerequisite for marriage or other kinds of long-term or permanent relationships. Romantic love involves emotional highs and lows. Women justify sexual activity with love, but men do not need to attribute love to sexual urges and behavior

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 12 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Infatuation A state of intense absorption in or focus on another person Usually involves sexual desire, elation, general physiological arousal or excitement; passion If relationship develops, it typically is enforced by feelings of attachment and caring. Often a passing fancy, but may develop into deeper feelings and an enduring relationship

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 13 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Biological mechanisms: Bodily changes occur when we feel love: Chemicals in the brain’s pleasure system Hormones Increased nerve growth factor

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 14 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Contemporary Models of Love Love as appraisal of arousal (Berscheid & Hatfield) Romantic love A kind of love characterized by feelings of passion and intimacy Physiological arousal that is attributed to feelings of love Culture that idealizes romantic love

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 15 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick) Romantic love (eros) “My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately.” Game-playing love (ludus) “I get over love affairs pretty easily.” Friendship (storge, philia) “The best love grows out of an enduring friendship.”

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 16 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick) Logical love (pragma) “I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself.” Possessive, excited love (mania) “When my lover ignores me, I get sick all over.” Selfless love (agape) “My lover’s needs and wishes are more important than my own.”

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 17 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Three main components of loving relationships Intimacy Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness Desire to share one’s innermost thoughts with the other Desire to give and receive emotional support Passion Intense romantic or sexual desire for another person, which is accompanied by physiological arousal Commitment Commitment to maintain the relationship despite potential hardships

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 18 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Intimacy Passion Commitment

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 19 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Types of love Nonlove All components of love are absent. Liking Intimacy is present. Passion and commitment are absent. Friendship love Infatuation “Love at first sight” Passion is present. Intimacy and commitment are absent.

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 20 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Types of love Empty love Commitment is present. Passion and intimacy are absent. Romantic love Passion and intimacy are present. Commitment is absent. Companionate love Intimacy and commitment are present. Passion is absent.

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 21 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Types of love Fatuous love Passion and commitment are present. Intimacy is absent. Consummate love Full or complete measure of love Combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment An ideal type of love Harder to maintain than to achieve

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 22 Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love IntimacyIntimacy Passion Commitment Romantic Love Romantic Love Companionate Love Companionate Love Consummate Love Fatuous Love Fatuous Love Infatuation Liking Empty Love