Interdependency How are relationships like economies? What is exchanged? What determines if we’ll stay in our current relationships? Why do some relationships fall apart quickly? How can we remain satisfied in our relationships?

Social Exchange Maximum reward at minimum cost Rewards – anything that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient Costs – financial expenditures, injuries, frustrations, restrictions, etc. Outcome = Rewards – Costs We want the BEST possible outcomes

Outcomes are measured against our expectations Comparison level (CL) – the value of the outcomes that we believe we deserve in our dealings with others

Basic Math: Outcomes > CL = Satisfied relationship Outcomes < CL = Dissatisfied relationship Caveat: Even if you are making a profit, you may not think that profit is big enough

Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) – outcomes that we can receive by leaving our current relationships and moving on to the best alternative partner But when do people actually leave?

Must consider the availability and desirability of potential alternatives Prospect of loneliness Investment in the current relationship (Rusbult, Drigotas, & Verette, 1994). Tangible items (furniture, money, etc.) Psychological benefits (love and respect from in- laws, for example)

CLalt is whatever you think it is May be influenced by self-esteem and access to information Outcomes – CLalt = dependence or independence

Types of relationships in interdependency theory outcome CLalt CL A happy, stable relationship outcome CLalt CL A happy, stable relationship outcome CL CLalt An unhappy, but stable relationship outcome CL CLalt A happy, but unstable relationship outcome CLalt CL An unhappy, unstable relationship outcome CLalt CL An unhappy, unstable relationship

How might people’s CLalt’s influence their interactions with one another? Betty’s and Barney’s outcomes Betty’s CLalt Barney’s CLalt

Principle of lesser (least) interest – the partner who is less dependent on a relationship has more power in it

CL and CLalt over time We may become used to wonderful treatment from our partners, raising our CL But if outcomes remain the same, satisfaction will decrease As for CLalt, we may have entered the age of “permanent availability”

Rewards and Costs over time BeginningDevelopingEstablishedBeginningDevelopingEstablished Rewards Costs Successful Relationships Unsuccessful Relationships Graphs adapted from Eidelson, 1981

Other good vs. bad exchanges Gottman and Levenson (1992) observed that well-regulated couples maintained a ratio of positive to negative exchanges of 5:1 or better Well-regulated couples were more satisfied Four years later, 56% of poorly regulated couples were divorced vs. 24% of well- regulated couples

We’ve seen that satisfaction can decrease as CL’s rise over time But outcomes tend to decrease over time, too Relationship satisfaction declines in the first few months after marriage

How come? Remember social cognition? Impression management takes work Trivial annoyances may build up through repetition Partners may reveal secret information (intentionally or accidentally) “Fatal attractions” Birth of children (unrealistic expectations) These may also be the very things that keep people from marrying in the first place, as they are discovered over time

Are we really this greedy? Providing good outcomes for one’s partner can ultimately be self-serving It may influence them to stay It may influence them to do nice things for you, too Nevertheless, there is plenty of compassionate thoughtfulness in interdependent relationships

Exchange vs. Communal Relationships (Clark & Mills, 1979) Exchange relationships – carry the expectation of immediate repayment for benefits given Communal relationships – carry the expectation of mutual responsiveness to one another’s needs

Equitable Relationships Proportional justice – each partner gains benefits that are proportional to his or her contributions (Hatfield, 1983) A relationship is equitable when the ratio of your outcomes to your contributions is similar to that of your partner

Your outcomes Your contributions Your partner’s outcomes Your partner’s contributions = Partner APartner B = = = a) b) c)

Partner APartner B ≠ ≠ d) e) A is overbenefitted A is underbenefitted What are some ways to restore equity? If both partners are prospering, does it even matter?

Equity theory suggests that people are happiest when the relationship is fair Overbenefitted people should feel guilty and somewhat less content Underbenefitted people should simply dislike the unfairness of the situation

Studies show that no one likes being underbenefitted But research is inconsistent regarding overbenefitted people and equity in general When might equity matter? Division of household tasks Childcare

Commitment Commitment can be either a happy dependence or a burdensome entrapment It can result from both positive and negative influences

Investment Model (Rusbult Drigotas, & Verette, 1994) Satisfaction Level Quality of Alternatives Investment Size Commitment Level Decision to remain

Very good generalizability Useful for predicting relationship duration, faithfulness, and even if battered wives will try to escape their abusive husbands Other types of commitment? Personal Constraint Moral (e.g. long-distance relationships)

Commitment leads people to take action to protect and maintain a relationship, even when it is costly to do so Accommodative behavior Willingness to sacrifice Committed couples also consider their relationships to be superior to others’