The Impact of Behavior Styles

Exercise: Let’s find out something about ourselves… Complete the Communication Behavior Style Exercise –Circle every word that describes you at school –There are no right or wrong answers –No one will see your selections

CRITICALINDUSTRIOUSPUSHYSTRONG-WILLED INDECISIVEPERSISTENTSEVEREINDEPENDENT STUFFYSERIOUSTOUGHPRACTICAL PICKYEXPECTINGDOMINATINGDECISIVE MORALISTICORDERLYHARSHEFFICIENT ALOOFTHOUGHTFULCOLDGOAL-ORIENTED CONFORMINGSUPPORTIVEMANIPULATINGAMBITIOUS UNSURERESPECTFULEXCITIBLESTIMULATING INGRATIATINGWILLINGUNDISCIPLINEDENTHUSIASTIC DEPENDENTDEPENDABLEREACTINGDRAMATIC AWKWARDAGREEABLEEGOTISTICALFRIENDLY WISHY-WASHYAPPROACHABLEFLAKYCREATIVE COMMUNICATION BEHAVIOR STYLE EXERCISE

Behavior Styles Exercise ANALYZER CONTROLLER Organizer PERSUADER

Your Behavior Style External conditions and situations exist at the present time that may impact your current response Avoid labels

Tasks vs. People More, better, fasterCapable, competent Likeable TasksPeople

Process vs. Expediency Thorough, comprehensive,Fast, gut, quick need to make one RIGHT decision ProcessExpediency

Behavior Styles Task People Process Expediency ANALYZER CONTROLLER OrganizerPERSUADER

Behavior Styles Task People Process (Ask) Expediency (Tell) ANALYZER CONTROLLER OrganizerPERSUADER (Do) (Do with)

Behavior Styles Task People Process (Ask) Expediency (Tell) Accuracy Action Approval Appreciation ANALYZER CONTROLLER STABILIZERPERSUADER (Do) (Do with)

Analyzers Tendency towards perfectionism Deal with facts, data, logic, details Sometimes slow to make decisions May appear overly cautious and not good risk- takers Decisions and information provided are usually accurate and thoughtful Feelings and emotions kept inside

Organizers “Warm and fuzzies” People and friendships are very important Like to get others involved in activities Good at juggling multiple tasks Concerned about feelings of others Less inclined to speak their mind openly Can get hurt feelings or be offended easily

Persuaders Party people Love to have a good time Highly creative and enthusiastic Operate primarily by intuition Little tolerance for those who are not expressive Easily bored Difficult to keep on task Easily distracted

Controllers Strong, decisive and results-oriented Provide strong guidance for others May appear pushy at times Demanding of themselves and others Highly self-critical Resent those who “waste” time with idle chit- chat

Positives and Negatives per Style Pos Industrious Persistent Serious Exacting Orderly Pos Strong-willed Independent Practical Decisive Efficient Pos Supportive Respectful Willing Dependable Agreeable Pos Ambitious Stimulating Enthusiastic Dramatic Friendly A C PO

Positives and Negatives per Style Neg Critical Indecisive Stuffy Picky Moralistic Neg Pushy Severe Tough Dominating Harsh Neg Conforming Unsure Pliable Dependent Awkward Neg Manipulative Excitable Undisciplined Reacting Egotistical A C PO

Positives and Negatives per Style Pos Industrious Persistent Serious Exacting Orderly Neg Critical Indecisive Stuffy Picky Moralistic Pos Strong-willed Independent Practical Decisive Efficient Neg Pushy Severe Tough Dominating Harsh Pos Supportive Respectful Willing Dependable Agreeable Neg Conforming Unsure Pliable Dependent Awkward Pos Ambitious Stimulating Enthusiastic Dramatic Friendly Neg Manipulative Excitable Undisciplined Reacting Egotistical A C PO

Discussion Look at the “Positives and Negatives per Style” matrix. Do those ring true for you? Do they suggest approaches that may result in successful outcomes when working with or communicating with people whose style is different than your own?

Potentially toxic relationships Natural tensions occur between individuals whose orientations are dramatically different from one another: AnalyzerPersuader ControllerOrganizer

Potentially compatible relationships ControllerandAnalyzer AnalyzerandOrganizer Organizer andPersuader ControllerandPersuader

With Analyzers… DO…DON’T… - Prepare in advance- Be disorganized or messy - Be accurate- Be casual, informal or loud - Be direct- Rush decision-making - List pros and cons- Fail to follow through - Present specifics- Waste time - Be persistent- Leave things to chance - Use timetables for actions- Threaten or cajole - Provide tangible, practical- Use opinions as evidence evidence- Be manipulative

With Organizers… DO…DON’T… - Start with a personal comment- Rush into business - Show sincere interest in them as- Stick constantly to people business - Listen and be responsive- Force them to respond quickly - Be casual and non-threatening- Be demanding - Ask “how” questions- Debate facts & figures - Watch for hurt feelings- Be abrupt - Provide assurances- Be patronizing - Decide for them

With Controllers… DO…DON’T… - Be specific & brief - Ramble or waste time - Stick to business - Be disorganized or messy - Be prepared - Leave loopholes or be unclear - Present facts clearly - Ask rhetorical questions - Ask “what” questions - Make decisions for them - Provide alternative solutions - Speculate - Take issue with facts - Be directive

With Persuaders… DO… DON’T… - Be fast-moving, entertaining - Legislate - Leave time for socializing - Be cold, aloof, or tight-lipped - Talk about their goals - Press for solutions - Deal with the “big” picture - Deal with details - Ask for their opinions & ideas - Be dogmatic - Provide examples from people - Talk down to them they believe are important - Offer incentives or rewards

Impact of Tension on Behavior How does tension impact our behavior? Do all styles react the same way? What happens when we can’t get rid of the tension?

Tension – Reaction Behavior Nitpick Leave Prove they are “right” Pull away Withhold emotions Explode Blame Dictate Take over Suppress emotions Wait too long to act Tell others Avoid Give in & get even Worry emotionally Verbal attack Talk about everything Cry “Dump” it & forget it Overreact emotionally (Analyzer) (Organizer) (Controller) (Persuader)

Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness Self Management Social Awareness Relationship Management Social Competencies Personal Competencies

Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. Frank Outlaw Food For Thought