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Presentation transcript:

Describe What Happened to You Writing Samples from

The Sled Run

What is this composition about? Does it have strong or weak voice? What words does the author use that show her feelings? What simile does the author use to make a mind movie? Is the writing organized? How do you know?

The Funny Dance I remember when my dog Murphy was really little. She was only two or three years old. It was on Christmas. My dad put on some Christmas music and Murphy put her paws up in the air and started swirling around in circles. Then she put her paws on my dad’s hands and they started dancing together. It was very funny, and my dad thought that Murphy was a good dancer!

The Funny Dance What is this composition about? Do you think it has strong voice? Are there any choppy sentences that could be improved? How? Is the writing organized? What is the wrap-up sentence?

The Horrible Day One morning I woke up and I was turned around on my bed. Then I fell off! I walked downstairs and I almost fell over my dog. Next I fell asleep in my cereal and my brother stole my toast! Then I had to walk to school because our car ran out of gas. I was late for school, and I got stuck outside in the rain! Guess what? I really didn’t like this day at all.

The Horrible Day What is this composition about? Is the writing organized? What words show the order of events? Does it have strong voice? Which words show the writer’s feelings? Which words make the writing more interesting?