What Parents Need to Know about Cyber-Bullying Megan E. Doyle, M.S. School Psychologist St. John’s University

What is Cyber-Bullying (CB)? Willful and repeated harm inflicted among minors through the medium of electronic text Willful and repeated harm inflicted among minors through the medium of electronic text Being ignored, disrespected, called names, threatened, picked on, made fun of, having rumors spread by others Being ignored, disrespected, called names, threatened, picked on, made fun of, having rumors spread by others CB mediums: CB mediums: Internet websites, blogs, chat rooms, , instant messaging (IM), text messaging, voic , camera phones, social networking websites (e.g., Facebook, Myspace) Internet websites, blogs, chat rooms, , instant messaging (IM), text messaging, voic , camera phones, social networking websites (e.g., Facebook, Myspace)

Forms of Cyber-bullying Flaming Flaming Online fights using angry and vulgar language Online fights using angry and vulgar language Harassment Harassment Sending mean and insulting messages over and over until the victim feels humiliated, embarrassed and fearful Sending mean and insulting messages over and over until the victim feels humiliated, embarrassed and fearful Denigration or Dissing Denigration or Dissing Posting rumors and gossip to hurt reputations or cause friendship problems Posting rumors and gossip to hurt reputations or cause friendship problems Outing Outing Sharing someone’s secrets such as passwords or embarrassing information Sharing someone’s secrets such as passwords or embarrassing information

Forms of Cyber-Bullying Impersonation Impersonation Pretending to be someone else and sending damaging messages as that person Pretending to be someone else and sending damaging messages as that person Trickery Trickery Tricking someone into disclosing secrets then sharing them online Tricking someone into disclosing secrets then sharing them online Exclusion Exclusion Purposefully and cruelly excluding another from an online group Purposefully and cruelly excluding another from an online group Cyberstalking Cyberstalking Repeated and intense harassment that includes threats and creates significant fear in the victim Repeated and intense harassment that includes threats and creates significant fear in the victim

Who are the bullies and victims? Cyber-bullies and victims are a new, little- known group Cyber-bullies and victims are a new, little- known group No differences for gender or race No differences for gender or race Grade Grade Peak in middle school Peak in middle school Bullies often become victims Bullies often become victims

Victims of Cyber-Bullying Nearly 3 out of 4 teens report being bullied online at least once in a 12-month period Nearly 3 out of 4 teens report being bullied online at least once in a 12-month period Only 1 out of 10 report being victimized to parents or other adults Only 1 out of 10 report being victimized to parents or other adults Teens fear parents will restrict internet access Teens fear parents will restrict internet access Often occurs at home with peers from school Often occurs at home with peers from school 73% know who was doing the bullying 73% know who was doing the bullying

Effects of CB Victimization Effects of CB Victimization Anger Anger Frustration Frustration Sadness Sadness Effects of traditional bully victimization Effects of traditional bully victimization Anger Anger Depression Depression Anxiety Anxiety School avoidance School avoidance Smoking Smoking Poor academic performance Poor academic performance Fewer friends Fewer friends Loneliness Loneliness Low self-worth Low self-worth Peer rejection Peer rejection Depression in adulthood Depression in adulthood

Signs Your Child is a CB Victim Appearing upset after using the computer or cell phone Appearing upset after using the computer or cell phone Withdrawing from social events with peers Withdrawing from social events with peers Spending less time on the internet or cell phone Spending less time on the internet or cell phone Irritability Irritability Sadness Sadness Withdrawal Withdrawal Lack of interest in activities Lack of interest in activities School refusal School refusal Change in grades Change in grades Change in eating/sleeping patterns Change in eating/sleeping patterns

What can parents do? Prevention Maintain open communication with children Maintain open communication with children Set time and content limits on computer use Set time and content limits on computer use Sign an internet usage agreement Sign an internet usage agreement pdf pdf pdf pdf Keep the computer in a public family area Keep the computer in a public family area Limit bells and whistles on cell phones Limit bells and whistles on cell phones

What can parents do? Prevention Ask questions Ask questions Do you have a profile? Do you have a profile? Where do you go online? Where do you go online? Ask them to teach you how to use the computer Ask them to teach you how to use the computer Partner with your children’s schools by supporting their policies Partner with your children’s schools by supporting their policies Search your child’s name Search your child’s name Remember! Remember! Children must earn your trust Children must earn your trust Your computer may have parental controls, but your neighbor’s may not Your computer may have parental controls, but your neighbor’s may not

What to look for... Social networking websites Social networking websites Myspace.com, Facebook.com Myspace.com, Facebook.com Used for building and maintaining peer relationships Used for building and maintaining peer relationships Video websites Video websites Youtube.com Youtube.com Used for self-expression Used for self-expression IM, text language IM, text language Used for communication Used for communication Netlingo.org Netlingo.org

What can parents do? Intervention Must find out: Must find out: Risk of physical assault Risk of physical assault Emotional effects of the CB7 Emotional effects of the CB7 Getting your reaction just right Getting your reaction just right They are afraid you will overreact by revoking computer privileges, telling other parents or the school, getting the bully in trouble They are afraid you will overreact by revoking computer privileges, telling other parents or the school, getting the bully in trouble But don’t “underreact,” for there are serious implications so there should be consequences But don’t “underreact,” for there are serious implications so there should be consequences It’s OK to say NO! It’s OK to say NO!

What can parents do? Intervention Don’t wait until you get the phone bill! Don’t wait until you get the phone bill! You are legally responsible for what your child does on your computer or cell phone You are legally responsible for what your child does on your computer or cell phone Computer seizure Computer seizure Loss of internet Loss of internet Criminal or civil charges Criminal or civil charges Enlist the help of your school Enlist the help of your school Contact authorities if a law has been broken Contact authorities if a law has been broken Threats Threats

What to Tell Your Children Never tell anyone your password Never tell anyone your password Save or print any harassing messages Save or print any harassing messages Change your screen name Change your screen name Block senders/restrict profiles Block senders/restrict profiles Don’t accept online “friendship” from strangers Don’t accept online “friendship” from strangers Never respond to a bully Never respond to a bully Tell a parent, teacher, or other adult Tell a parent, teacher, or other adult

What to tell your children No computer or cell phone is truly anonymous No computer or cell phone is truly anonymous Teachers, colleges, and employers check websites for inappropriate text and photos Teachers, colleges, and employers check websites for inappropriate text and photos Don’t post identifying information online Don’t post identifying information online Don’t post updates about your itinerary Don’t post updates about your itinerary Don’t give details about your interests or the activities you do Don’t give details about your interests or the activities you do Think before you type! Think before you type!

What can schools do? Monitor internet usage in school Monitor internet usage in school Set policies regarding internet usage in school Set policies regarding internet usage in school Set clear limits and enforce them Set clear limits and enforce them Implement a bullying prevention/intervention program Implement a bullying prevention/intervention program Periodically evaluate interventions Periodically evaluate interventions Educate students and faculty about cyber- bullying Educate students and faculty about cyber- bullying

Resources Wiredsafety.org Wiredsafety.org Stopcyberbullying.org Stopcyberbullying.org Cyberangels.org Cyberangels.org Netlingo.org Netlingo.org

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