Conflict Resolution Centralia College Core Training Series

Part I Handling Your Own Conflicts

Conflict is … …and always will be. …and always will be.

Conflict can be an opportunity for improvement or an opportunity for an ulcer depending on how we respond to it.

Violence and physical force are not the answers to conflict. And yelling and screaming only make you look silly.

Two Guiding Principles for Conflict Resolution. Seek first to understand, then be understood; and, Seek first to understand, then be understood; and, Think “win-win.” Think “win-win.”

When conflict is really bad what does it look like? When conflict is really bad what does it look like?

What are the sources of this “bad” kind of conflict? What are the sources of this “bad” kind of conflict?

When conflict is good what does it look like? When conflict is good what does it look like?

Elements of Good Conflict Management

1.Understanding how we communicate. 1.Understanding how we communicate.

2.Understanding where bad behavior comes from. 2.Understanding where bad behavior comes from.

3.Understanding the “root ball”. 3.Understanding the “root ball”.

4. Understanding how others communicate (Understanding the differences in style - Quadrant Theory) 4. Understanding how others communicate (Understanding the differences in style - Quadrant Theory)

5.Understanding your role in conflict. 5.Understanding your role in conflict.

Bailey’s 11 Tips for Resolving Conflicts and Avoiding Ulcers. (Counts for 1 Mental Health Credit)

Conflict Resolution Tip #1 People respond differently to conflict.

Test! What’s your conflict style? Avoider?Compromiser?Accommodator?Collaborator?Competer?

Conflict Resolution Tip #2 S l o w D o w n !

Conflict Resolution Tip #3 Remove the person from the issue.

Conflict Resolution Tip #4 Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it.

Conflict Resolution Tip #4 Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it. Defuse! Cool Down! Reframe!

Conflict Resolution Tip #4 Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it. Defuse! Cool Down! Reframe! You can disagree without being disagreeable.

Conflict Resolution Tip #4 Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it. Defuse! Cool Down! Reframe! You can disagree without being disagreeable. Don’t react to anger.

Conflict Resolution Tip #5 Learn to (really) listen.

Conflict Resolution Tip #5 Learn to (really) listen. Don’t interrupt Don’t interrupt Don’t prepare for our next speech Don’t prepare for our next speech Acknowledge Acknowledge Reframe and reflect Reframe and reflect State the other’s interests out loud State the other’s interests out loud Remember body language Remember body language

Conflict Resolution Tip #6 Get to “interests” not just “issues.”

Conflict Resolution Tip #7 Admit when you’re wrong.

Conflict Resolution Tip #8 Don’t be afraid to “test.”

Conflict Resolution Tip #9 Bargain in good faith.

Conflict Resolution Tip #10 Think “win-win.”

Conflict Resolution Tip #11 Reach true agreements.

Part II Mediating the Conflicts of Others

Most of the same rules apply!

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down; 3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down; 3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it; 4) Teach the parties how to listen

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down; 3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it; 4) Teach the parties how to listen; 5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues”

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down; 3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it; 4) Teach the parties how to listen; 5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;” 6) Don’t be afraid to test

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down; 3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it; 4) Teach the parties how to listen; 5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;” 6) Don’t be afraid to test; 7) Require the parties to bargain in good faith

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down; 3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it; 4) Teach the parties how to listen; 5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;” 6) Don’t be afraid to test; 7) Require the parties to bargain in good faith; 8) Think “win-win”

Mediating the Conflicts of Others 1) Consider the conflict styles of the participants; 2) Slow it down; 3) Keep anger and inflammatory language out of it; 4) Teach the parties how to listen; 5) Get to “interests,” not just “issues;” 6) Don’t be afraid to test; 7) Require the parties to bargain in good faith; 8) Think “win-win; 9) Reach true agreements

Reaching a “True” Agreement Some additional concerns: 1) The need for impartiality; 2) Power imbalances must be addressed; 3) All issues and interests of the participants must be expressed and acknowledged; 4) The role of the mediator must be understood.

Reaching a “True” Agreement The Role of the Mediator: 1) Keep the negotiation moving forward; 2) Keep the negotiation civil; 3) STAY OUT OF IT—Give it to the disputants.

Now go out and solve the world’s problems!