… in Marriage

The Totem Pole of My Life #1#2#3#4#5 My Personal Relationship & Fellowship with God Family / a. Wife b. Kids THE Church My Job My Recreation

Time… We all struggle to balance the same amount of God-given time! 4 Kinds toBalance TimeTimeTimeTime PRIME- GRIND- UNWIND- MIND-

Webster says balance is… Noun – A weight, force or influence counter acting the effect of another. Verb – To arrange so that one set of elements equals another.

What man hasn’t felt like this guy… …or this guy!

“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Tim 5:8 laboring

“But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called…” 1 Tim 6:11-12 leaving

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.” Psalm 119:9 Learning

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” leaning

Balance… NAW! Blended… YEP!

Blended… To mix thoroughly To combine into an integrated whole

Does the Holy Spirit give us clearly defined roles as husbands and fathers and leaders?

LaboringLeavingLearningLeaning L_______ L________

The The Positional Role of LEADING

“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” Ephesians 5:23

“Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” I Corinthians 11:3 For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” “For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” I Corinthians 11:8-9

“A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober- minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; One who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?)” I Timothy 3:2,4-5

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” I Timothy 5:8

The husband is to be one who lovingly rules and provides. Rules Provide To Stand Before = To Stand Before To Plan Before = To Plan Before

“Jesus called them together and said, You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.” Mark 10:42 Lord it over “ Lord it over ” = Abuses Personal Power Exercising Authority “ Exercising Authority ” = Abuses Personal Position Don’tBully

My Leadership Style Abusive Autocratic Authoritarian Authentic Apathetic Absent Abandoned Over-action Under -action Anger Fear

The The Purposeful Role of LOVING

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25

The word love is Agape It’s characteristics are… Sacrificial 2. Sacrificial Loyal 3. Loyal Unconditional 1. Unconditional

Principles concerning Love / Agape Present Tense Present Tense - Active Voice Active Voice - Imperative Mood Imperative Mood - I am to love continually I am to love actively I am to love by my choice

Why? “To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:26-27

A godly husband produces in his wife the characteristics of… Blameless - Holy - Glorious - Without fault in conduct Purity before God High honor and radiantly gorgeous

Is my wife closer to God because of my influence?

The The Practical Role of LIFTING

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” I Peter 3:7

“As with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman” Different by Design John MacArthur

Understanding Understanding Way Grant Her Honor Perception Preciousness

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter towards them.” Colossians 3:19 Bitter Bitter … Never unkind tone Never tearing down Never controlling SharpCuttingHarsh but always Tender, but always Tender but always Gentle, but always Gentle but always Building Up, but always Building Up, but always Empowering Never harsh or demeaning

“So, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.” Ephesians 5:28-29 NourishProvide Growth Nourish = Provide Growth Cherish = Treasure and Treat Tenderly

Balance… NAW! Blended… YEP!

… in Marriage