Wisdom in Being a Good Spouse

Introduction Proverbs is a guide from God on how to live life to its fullest potential –Avoiding mistakes and their consequences In our last lesson we saw that it includes wisdom in selecting a spouse –Now we will turn to wisdom in being a good spouse

Why be a good spouse? How enjoyable life is often is greatly dependent on how successful our marriage relationship is How well we can serve the Lord is affected by our marriage relationship – 1 Pet 3:7 Proverbs addresses wives and husbands separately on how to be a good spouse –Each has their own roles and functions –Let’s start with wives

How to be a Good Wife Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife –Is trustworthy and dependable – 31:11 Husband can entrust her with “his” income. Etc She doesn’t waste what is entrusted to her, but uses it for the benefit of them both –Is filled with an enduring love – 31:12 Devoted to doing good for her husband for her entire life –Develops practical skills Such as sewing – 31:13, And cooking – 31:14-15

How to be a Good Wife Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife –Is industrious – 31:16-19, 24 Answers the question of a working mother –She bought and sold land –She made and sold clothing The question isn’t, can a wife/mother work? But can she do her work without neglecting other responsibilities as wife and mother? –1 Tim 5:14; Titus 2:4-5 –Some women can, others can’t –Some jobs can, others can’t –Some periods can, others can’t

How to be a Good Wife Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife –Is compassionate and charitable – 31:20 Cares for the less fortunate, as well as her family –Develops a strong character – 31:25 Just as Peter said – 1 Pet 3:3-4 –Speaks with wisdom and kindness – 31:26 Considers what she says and how she says it Just as we all should – Eph 4:29

How to be a Good Wife Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife –Sees to the needs of her family – 31:27 Makes preparation and sacrifice – 31:15, 18 –Is one who fears the Lord – 31:29-30 Now that we see what a good wife should be –Let’s take a brief look at what she should not be

What a Wife should NOT be Contentious, argumentative – Prov 21:9, 19 Hateful – Prov 30:21-23 Both attitudes will drive the husband away rather than drawing them closer together Now let’s move on to husbands

“The Virtuous Man” Some women feel the wife is given an ideal in Prov 31 that is hard to live up to –They complain there is no “virtuous man” passage But recall, Proverbs is addressed to a son – 1:8 –The book is to prepare a boy to be a man –30 ½ chapters describe “the virtuous man” –The “virtuous woman” only gets ½ chapter at the end And even that ½ chapter advises the man as well

How to be a Good Husband Prov 31:31 –Let your wife develop her own abilities Let her have the benefits of her labor Don’t think of her as an extension of self Prov 31:28-29 –Be sure to praise her often –Don’t take her for granted Prov 31:11 –Demonstrate trust in her Her faithfulness, her intelligence, her abilities No room for jealousy, envy, or suspicion

How to be a Good Husband Prov 5:15-21 –Be content with your wife’s love –Let your desire be for her only Don’t be imagining life with others –That will lead to problems –Matt 5:27-30 Some say, “There’s no harm in looking” –But the truth is there is great harm in looking Prov 11:29 –Build a good family relationship or there will be nothing in the end

Conclusion Eccl 9:9 –The best you can have in THIS life is to enjoy life with the woman you love So Proverbs –Can help you choose a good mate –Can help you be a good mate –And next we’ll look at what it says about raising and providing for a family