Emotional Development The Toddler Ages One , Two, plus age 3(preschool)

Emotions Young children display their emotions very clearly, through actions and words! For most children, emotional development goes in predictable cycles.

Toddlers (18 months) are Self-Centered! Toddlers think about their own needs and wants, not those of others. During infancy, children had all their needs and desires met promptly. Parents are beginning to teach a toddler that some desires won’t be met immediately (& some not at all).

Negativism- NO! The child’s favorite response- no matter what the request- is NO! Negativism, doing the opposite of what others want, is normal for toddlers.

Causes of Negativism The child’s desire for independence. (saying “NO” means- let me decide myself- I want to be in charge !) Feelings of frustration and anger. (Their bodies are not developed enough to obey their wishes and they don’t have sufficient language skills to express their feelings!) The exciting and frightening realization that they are separate persons!

Remember- Toddlers Negativity is Normal! Parents can combat negativism by: Eliminating restrictions (e.g. remove things a child cannot touch). Distracting from inappropriate behavior (e.g. “Wow- look at the pictures in this book!”) Give the child reasonable choices whenever possible (e.g. “Would you like a pear or a banana for lunch?”)

Temper Tantrums From age 18 months – age 3-4 years, some children have temper tantrums. Incidents in which children release their anger and frustration by screaming, crying, kicking, pounding and sometimes holding their breath, is normal!

Two Years Speech and motor skills have improved, relieving much frustration. Child understands more and can wait longer periods of time for needs to be met. Expresses love and affection freely. Actively seeks approval and praise. Outgoing, friendly and less self-centered.

Two and One-Half Years Children learning so much that they can feel overwhelmed ! They can understand and desire to do much more than their physical ability. (e.g. know what they want to say, but don’t always succeed in making themselves understood) Toddlers drive for independence causes them to resist pressure to conform. (sensitive about being bossed, shown, helped or directed!)

2 ½ Years At this age , children desire consistency ! ( They want same routines carried out the same way day after day) Maintaining a consistent schedule helps child cope with a confusing world- building security and confidence!

Three Years Toddlers are sunny, cooperative and learning to be considerate! Take directions from others and follow them with pride! (I can) Children love to talk (provides emotional pleasure). They talk to their playmates, imaginary companions and themselves.

3 ½ Years Insecure- fears are common! (Afraid of dark, monsters, lions & tigers, strangers, loud noises) Emotional tension may be displayed by thumb sucking, nail biting, stuttering. Children try to control their own environment (provides security) by making demands- “I want to…”

Specific Emotions Emotion 18 Months 3 Years Anger Fear Sympathy Temper tantrums are common Anger last longer but less frequent Tantrums may end Uses verbal responses to anger Fear Fears high places, strangers & loud noises Afraid of dark. Animals & storms Sympathy Little evidence of sympathy Tries to comfort someone who is distressed

How to Help a Child Overcome Fears: Do not shame a child Take fears seriously Give honest, understandable explanations Set a good example Encourage child to talk about their fears Help child separate reality from fantasy Accompany child in unfamiliar situations Help a child know what to expect Give support and understanding

Separation Anxiety Separation anxiety is a fear of being away from parents, familiar caregivers, or their normal environment. Children often cry when left with a new babysitter, at a child care center, first day of preschool, etc. (can be disturbing for parents as well!) Parents should be careful to avoid communicating their own concerns about separation to the child

Sibling Rivalry Competition between brothers and sisters for their parents affection and attention. (often evident with arrival of a new baby) Children may try to hurt the infant or demand the baby be “taken back!” Children may show off, act inappropriately, revert to baby-like behaviors such as thumb sucking, baby talk or bedwetting, to try to get attention The child needs more love and attention, affection and reassurance form caregivers at this time! (e.g. spend time alone with older child, point out advantages of this he/she can do that baby cannot do)

Evaluating Emotional Adjustment How can parents tell whether their child is developing well emotionally? The single most important clue is the harmony of the parent- child relationship. Relationship between parents and children should be strong but not smothering. The relationships that children have with others in early years from the basis of their capacity for love and affection on later life!