The Personal Statement: Strategies for Supporting Students UC Counselor Conference 2010 The Personal Statement: Strategies for Supporting Students

Overview Purpose of statement in UC admissions Necessary information and skills for a strong personal statement Understanding the task Preparing students to write Providing useful feedback

Purpose of the Personal Statement

Purpose of the Personal Statement Part of UC’s comprehensive review process Opportunity to provide information that supports and augments the review process Enables applicant to make the best case possible for admission

Purpose of the Personal Statement Adds clarity, depth and meaning to information collected in other parts of the UC application Completes the application for admission An admission decision will never be based on the content of a personal statement alone

A Message from UC Faculty While it is acceptable to receive feedback or helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal statements should reflect their own ideas and be written by them alone

Understanding the Task

The Instructions Three rationale statements and questions (prompts) Your World Potential to contribute Word limits Two Responses: 1000 word maximum Recommended minimum of 350 words

The Prompts Rationale statement: provides context for the response Question: provides direction of the response (Rationale statement available only for Prompt #2

Prompt #1 Question: [Freshman Applicants] Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Potential to Contribute (#2) Rationale: The University welcomes the contributions and experience each student brings to the campus learning community. This question seeks to determine an applicant’s academic or creative interests and potential to contribute to the vitality of the University.

Potential to Contribute (#2) Question: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Preparing Students to Write

Necessary Skills Think critically: even though students will be writing about themselves, they need to step back and look at their experiences from the outside Write analytically: writing analytically means answering “why?” Follow a writing process: brainstorming, drafting, feedback, revising, proofreading

Important Strategies Think like an admissions reader Choose the extended prompt strategically Know the difference between a short-answer response and an extended response

You Can Help Students… Understand the role of the personal statement in the admissions process Recognize the relationship between reader and writer Understand the reading and writing tasks of the personal statement Use a writing process Obtain appropriate feedback

Before Writing, Students Should… Prepare a writing timeline Complete the UC application Use the “Levels of Questions” strategy for the application Determine the extended-response question

Why ask questions of the application? Important to think critically about the application’s content Helps students recognize personal and academic experiences as worthy of reflection and analysis Connects the issues raised by the application to the responses provided in the personal statement Helps students fulfill the reader/writer pact

The Reader-Writer Relationship When readers read critically (as admissions readers will do), they are asking questions, making observations and constructing interpretations of the information they are reading. A writer fulfills the pact with the reader by addressing these questions, observations and interpretations in the personal statement. Students can anticipate many of these questions, observations and interpretations by becoming critical readers of their own completed applications.

Levels of Questions Strategy Answers to L1 questions provide details in paragraphs Answers to L2 questions are topic sentences of paragraphs Answers to L3 questions are thesis statements of essays Level one: What does it say? Level two: What does it mean? Level three: Why/how does it matter?

From Prompt to Topic to Thesis Understand the key terms in the rationale statement and question Students should know their own questions and possible questions readers may raise Develop a topic — the subject area — that will be discussed in the response Draft a thesis — a point of view on the topic that addresses “why”

Question/Topic/Thesis Example Our question: How have you taken advantage of the educational opportunities you have had to prepare for college? Your topic: The role of Pre-College Academy in academic preparation Your thesis: Asserts why and how PCA was a significant preparation experience

Determine Response Topics What topic will each response focus on? One topic per prompt! Is this topic the most persuasive? Does it answer the most pressing questions related to this prompt? The prompt with the most questions associated with it should be the extended response.

Short-Answer Strategies

Readers Want… Responses that get right to the point Specific, concrete examples and language Adherence to word restrictions Responses that complete the application

Tips for Short-Answer Reponses Avoid irrelevant background information Understand meaning of key words Ensure that response addresses what the prompt asks for Make sure each sentence advances the argument Avoid a collection of facts or examples Use concrete details and make them clear, rich and meaningful 26 Berkeley Davis Irvine Los Angeles Merced Riverside San Diego San Francisco Santa Barbara Santa Cruz

Extended-Response Strategies

Readers Want… Organization and clarity, provided by a persuasive thesis, analytical topic sentences, well-chosen examples A response that supports and completes — by clarifying and contextualizing — the information in the application

Thesis Statements Concession (optional) Assertion Reasons Significance The “but” to the “yes” Although… The argument This… The synthesis of supporting points Because… The “so what” of the argument; implications As a result…

Sample Thesis — Prompt 2 (Extended) Although I do not plan to major in veterinary science, my experiences raising and caring for animals have helped me understand how important animals are to human well-being. Because I have seen the result of human disregard for other forms of life, I am better able to appreciate the importance of ethical treatment for all. As a result, I will be able to contribute my knowledge of animal preservation and my skill as an organizer to the campus environment.

Writing Process Brainstorm using levels of questions Draft Get feedback — give readers at least a week to respond Revise for organization, clarity and meaning Proofread

How to Give Feedback to Students Request the application and the personal statement, not just the statement Ask students to provide you with a list of questions they would like you to answer Comment on ideas and the level of persuasiveness, not grammar Help students find readers who resemble their target audience

Additional Resources for Students Online UC Personal Statement Tutorial for Students at www.ucgateways.org Six lessons that guide students through brainstorming, drafting, getting feedback and revising Activities to help students start early and stay on task Developed by EAOP admissions preparation specialists