Now That You’ve Said “I Do!” South Sound Church of Christ Marriage Workshop?
Future Sessions 1.What Is Marriage? 2.Uniqueness and Acceptance in Marriage 3.Expectations in Marriage 4.Fulfilling Intimacy Needs in Marriage 5.Roles Responsibilities and Decision Making 6.Communication in Marriage 7.Dealing with Conflict in Marriage 8.Sex in Marriage
REVIEW Homework Last Week
Assignment Set time aside to go out on a date where you can talk openly: Each of you take turns sharing something important to you with your spouse. A need, an expectation, or a desire that you have for your spouse. Try to communicate at a level one or two. Be mindful of the components of your conversation. (content, tone and non-verbal) Be a good listener! Concentrate on what is being said, not what you’re going to say in response.
DEALING WITH CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE
Conflict is a fact of life and of marriage. It has been defined as a slash, contention, or sharp disagreement over interests, ideas, and so forth. But why does it occur? The answer is simple: We are human beings – imperfect people whom God graciously loves in spite of our imperfections. Conflict is a fact of life and of marriage. It has been defined as a slash, contention, or sharp disagreement over interests, ideas, and so forth. But why does it occur? The answer is simple: We are human beings – imperfect people whom God graciously loves in spite of our imperfections. D ID YOU ANTICIPATE CONFLICT IN YOUR MARRIAGE ?
F OR D ISCUSSION
Many times disagreements or conflicts do not need to be completely resolved. Example: A disagreement over a political philosophy. This type of disagreement could continue indefinitely and need not destroy the overall marital relationship. Many times disagreements or conflicts do not need to be completely resolved. Example: A disagreement over a political philosophy. This type of disagreement could continue indefinitely and need not destroy the overall marital relationship.
Q. What does “completely resolved” mean to you? Q. What are some issues you and your spouse disagree on that do not need to be completely resolved? Some people have learned to use weapons in dealing with conflict. Q. What are some unfair weapons? Q. What effect does anger have on finding solutions to conflict? Q. What does “completely resolved” mean to you? Q. What are some issues you and your spouse disagree on that do not need to be completely resolved? Some people have learned to use weapons in dealing with conflict. Q. What are some unfair weapons? Q. What effect does anger have on finding solutions to conflict?
UNDERSTANDING ANGER
Anger is typically a “secondary” emotion. Anger usually comes about for three basic reasons: Hurt Fear Frustration
Scriptures to Consider
What do the following verses have to say about the right way to handle anger?
Psalm 37: Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.
Prov. 14:29 29 A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.
Prov. 29:11 11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
Ephesians 4: “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
James 4:1-3 1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
WHAT CHOICES DO WE HAVE IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT?
Conflict Resolution YieldResolve WithdrawWin Compromise
W HICH S TYLE IS B EST ?
YieldResolve WithdrawWin Compromise High concern for relationship Low concern for relationship Low in achieved needs High in achieved needs
HOMEWORK Communication Covenant