The Emotion of Anger

Anger Anger itself is not negative. It is how we express our anger that can either be harmful or healthy.

How is Anger Expressed? turning red shouting/yelling throwing things hitting things hurling insults getting even holding grudges silent treatment slamming doors damaging property

3 Types of Anger Expression 1.Aggressive anger: directed at another person to hurt them physically, emotionally, or psychologically. Examples are yelling, insults and put-downs, hitting

3 Types of Anger Expression, cont’d 2.Passive anger: person avoids dealing with anger and internalizes it. Examples are blaming, criticizing, or punishing self. Also holding a grudge, getting even, spreading rumors, damaging property, silent treatment

3 Types of Anger Expression, cont’d 3.Assertive anger: expressed directly, but in a non-threatening way. Most constructive type. May be expressed like, “I feel angry when you...”

Anger Iceberg Anger is often referred to as a secondary emotion. We express anger to cover up other vulnerable feelings We need to understand these underlying feelings. Anger Hurt Scared Frustrated Humiliated Rejected

Scenario Mary is listening to her favorite CD with friends. When her older brother Peter comes home from school, he comes into the room and puts on his own CD without saying a word. Mary turns red, but she doesn’t say anything. Shortly after, Spot, the family dog, comes over to her for a pat. Mary shoves Spot away and yells, “Leave me alone! You’re such a pest!”

Questions What type of anger expression did Mary use? Was it constructive or destructive? Why? How could Mary have expressed her anger more constructively? What were the underlying feelings Mary might have been feeling when Peter switched the CDs without asking?