The Conscious Road to Compassion Heidi A. Wayment, Ph.D. Department of Psychology Northern Arizona University May 16, 2013 A Social Psychological Perspective on the Quiet Ego

Outline What is compassion? What are the barriers to compassion? What is a “quiet ego?” What good is a “quiet ego?” Can a “quiet ego” be cultivated?

What is Compassion? At the core of every spiritual and religious tradition “... the feeling that arises in witnessing another’s suffering and that motivates a subsequent desire to help.”

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Anger Distress Anxiety Fear Compassion No Yes Do I have resources to help? No Yes Witness suffering No Does target’s suffering satisfy self goal?

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Anger Distress Anxiety Fear Compassion No Yes Do I have resources to help? No Yes Witness suffering No Does target’s suffering satisfy self goal?

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Anger Distress Anxiety Fear Compassion No Yes Do I have resources to help? No Yes Witness suffering No Does target’s suffering satisfy self goal?

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Anger Distress Anxiety Fear Compassion No Yes Do I have resources to help? No Yes Witness suffering No Does target’s suffering satisfy self goal?

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Anger Distress Anxiety Fear Compassion No Yes Do I have resources to help? No Yes Witness suffering No Does target’s suffering satisfy self goal?

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Anger Distress Anxiety Fear Compassion No Yes Do I have resources to help? No Yes Witness suffering No Does target’s suffering satisfy self goal?

Behavior Cognition Emotion

Psychological Distance

Schopenhauer (1969, p. 372) Compassion... the recognition that any perceived distinction between others and ourselves is only a "fleeting, deceptive phenomenon"

Social Psychological Mechanisms

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Compassion Do I have resources to help? Witness suffering Self-focus Self-Enhancement Self-Esteem Protection Fear

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Compassion Do I have resources to help? Witness suffering Perceived Similarity Fundamental Attribution Error Social Identity Theory Self-Construal Belief in a Just World Social Comparison

Goetz, Keltner, & Simon-Thomas, 2010 Psychological Bulletin Is target deserving of help? Compassion Do I have resources to help? Witness suffering Diffusion of Responsibility Social Loafing

What is a “Quiet Ego?” Balanced recognition of one’s strengths and weaknesses that paves the way for personal growth and compassion for the self and others Less defended stance toward self and others

Mindfulness Interdependent Identity Perspective Taking Growth Quiet Ego

Quiet Ego Scale I find myself doing things without paying much attention.I feel a connection to all living things.Before criticizing somebody, I try to imagine how I would feel if I were in their place.For me, life has been a continuous process of learning, changing, and growth. Sample Items

Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013) Study One (n = 300, n = 330) Can a higher-order “quiet ego” construct be identified?

Mindfulness Interdependent Identity Perspective Taking Growth e e e Quiet Ego e χ 2 with 73 df = 90.44, p =.08, χ 2 :df = 1.24, CFI =.98, NNFI =.98, RMSEA =.03 N = 337 χ 2 with 73 df = , p <.001, χ 2 :df = 1.73, CFI =.94, NNFI =.92, RMSEA =.05 N =

Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013) Study Two (n = 581) Coefficient alpha =.78 Psychological correlates of QE Can QES predict lower levels of negative and hostile behavior?

Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013) ++ Big 5, Self-Determination, Honesty-Humility, cognitive reappraisal, holistic thinking --Expressive suppression,physical aggression, verbal aggression, anger, hostility, negative thinking, and psychological entitlement QES very modestly related to less negative thoughts/behaviors, controlling for Big 5 personality traits and self-determination.

Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013) Study Three (n = 207) Coefficient alpha =.78 QES and several prosocial attitudes and behaviors, self-esteem.

Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013) ++ self-esteem, youth assets and sustainable attitudes. -- psychological risk taking, energy wasting behavior. t(208) = Controlling for self-esteem, QE associated with value assets, and sustainable attitudes. Modestly associated with psychological risk taking.

Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013) Study Four (n = 164, first-generation college Ss) Coefficient alpha = self-compassion, five-facet mindfulness, authenticity ++ resiliency, life satisfaction, coping efficacy QE associated with psychological strengths, controlling for mindfulness, authenticity, self-compassion

Wayment, Bauer, & Sylaska (2013) Study Five (n = 391) Coefficient alpha = flourishing, self-transcendence, pro-environmental attitudes, life satisfaction, and self-compassion. Controlling for Big 5, self- compassion, self-transcendence, QE associated with lower levels of depression/anxiety.

Wayment et al., (2011) Unemployment Study (n = 262)

What Good is a Quiet Ego? Increase our AWARENESS of our psychological defensesLearn and remind ourselves of our abilities to be mindful, have an interdependent identity, feel empathy, and value human growth.

Collier et al., (2013) Mood Repair Study Using a 15-minute Quiet Ego Contemplation Can QEC improve coping with stress? Can it alter our tendency to act in a self-defensive way?

...when we are motivated to grow as individuals, remind ourselves that we are connected to each other and all living things, behave mindfully and with awareness and sensitivity to others, and feel the emotions of an open heart, both toward ourselves and others. Cultivating a Quiet Ego