Tell me What to Do With These Kids!!!! Betty Newman Director of Student Development Midland ISD

Let’s look at the three D’s  Disruptive – They exhibit acting out behaviors  Defiant – They have difficulty with compliance in the classroom or playground  Difficult – They have poor peer relationships or have emotional adjustment problems that interfere with their ability to learn and get along with others.

Student’s make judgments about the leader's competence along the most basic dimension of leadership ability. Proactive Reactive

Proactive  You have a plan  You have a specific method of implementing the plan  You carry out the plan

Reactive  Leader has a general idea of what they want done  Leader gives a general directive, a variety of outcomes result, and they must then react to events as they unfold  NAG NAG NAG NAG

“But I want the miracle cure that I have seen on T.V. You know that one that takes thirty minutes or less or just tell me in thirty words or less.”

Personality Types LION 1. Is daring and unafraid in new situations 2. Likes to be a leader. Often tells others how do things 3. Ready to take on any kind of challenge 4. Is firm and serious about what is expected 5. Makes decisions quickly

OTTER 1. Talks a lot and tells wild stories 2. Likes to do all kinds of fun things 3. Enjoys being in groups. Likes to perform 4. Full of energy and always eager to play 5. Always happy and sees the good part of everything

GOLDEN RETRIEVER 1. Always faithful to friends 2. Listens carefully to others 3. Likes to help others. Feels sad when others argue 4. Is a peacemaker and doesn’t like it when others argue 5. Patient and willing to wait for something

BEAVER 1. Is neat and tidy and notices little details 2. Sticks with something until it’s done 3. Asks lots of questions 4. Likes things done the same way 5. Tells things just the way they are

Communicating with Little Lions Otters Golden Retrievers and Beavers (Affirming Their Strengths…Assisting With Weaknesses)

LIONS “I know you are a great leader… I’m so glad to have you in my room… be careful that you don’t lead in a bossy way”

OTTERS “I’m soooo glad you have such a great sense of humor and enjoy visiting with your friends and telling funny stories… be sure that you do that only during play time and not during work time.”

GOLDEN RETRIEVERS “I like how you take care of your friends when they get hurt … but remember you don’t have to miss all of your own play time by staying with them.”

BEAVERS “I can see how organized you are, and it sure helps to be that way in school. But occasionally I’m afraid that you worry too much over whether your work is neat enough. I know you try very hard and I accept it, even when it’s not perfect. It’s o.k. not to be perfect.”

In times of conflict… “Approach” is EVERYTHING!!! I was wondering… I was concerned… I was kinda puzzled about I’m confused about I’ve regretted us having problems regarding… I need help understanding

I’m worried that … How can I help … I feel left out … I’m overwhelmed right now because … I know what I need to be doing but … I was pretty angry when I found out that …

“TOOLS” for Conflict Management 1. Ignore 2. Share 3. Take Turns 4. Apologize 5. Chance 6. Compromise and Negotiate 7. Avoid 8. Postpone 9. Talk it out 10. Get Help

Anger Control Anger: Can be a healthy adaptive mechanism that serves a self-protective function for angry people Depression is suppressed anger.

Under expression Attempt to  Deny  Minimize  Rationalize  Suppress  Under responds to internal signals that something is wrong.

Misdirected Expression of Anger Dumping Target is illegitimate Another person Door (slammed) Pets (kicked) Books (thrown)

Exaggerated Expression Built-up Anger – Rage Outburst – dumping “don’t be RUDE with your anger !!! R – Repeated useless venting (griping) U – Under expressing (depression) D – Dumping (blaming) E – Exaggerated Expression (rage)

HEALTHY Uses of Anger Play the ACE: A – Adapt C – Confront E – Escape

CRTICISM vs. CORRECTION Criticism: A destructive act that invites revenge Criticism: You spilled the paint again today!! Why don’t you watch what you’re doing?

Correction A helpful art that invites cooperation Correction: Oops! I think it might help if you hold the bucket over here like this.

“There is no such thing as CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!! Founded on the untrue belief that to make young people DO better, we must first make them FEEL worse, criticism usually causes more problems than the original misbehavior.”

The Key to a Child’s Behavior is also the Key to a Child’s Heart.

Credits  IQ and EQ Harmony, Ginger Robinson  Coping With Conflict, Diane Senn  Correcting Without Criticizing, John Taylor, Ph. D.  Positive Classroom Discipline, Fred Jones