Sentences…

Uncombining—taking apart!  Uncombine the following sentences from Criss Cross (Perkins, 2005). Try to make as many sentences as possible.  “As if to welcome them, a half-dozen lights on tall poles flickered to life.”

“As if to welcome them, a half-dozen lights on tall poles flickered to life.”  Half-dozen lights welcomed them.  The lights were on tall poles.  The lights flickered to life.

Uncombine this sentence:  “Because his burden of garbage was large and precarious, he could not look down at the path and had to go by the feel of dirt under his sneakers.”

“Because his burden of garbage was large and precarious, he could not look down at the path and had to go by the feel of dirt under his sneakers.”  His burden of garbage was large.  His burden of garbage was precarious.  He could not look down at the path.  He had to go by the feel of dirt under his sneakers.

“If Rowanne said something important, something he needed to know, he didn’t want to miss it.”  Rowanne said something important.  Rowanne said something he needed to know.  He didn’t want to miss what Rowanne said.

Try it on your own:  “When the class was quiet, Gooney Bird began her Monday story.”  (From Gooney Bird Greene by Lois Lowry, 2002)  Uncombine that sentence into as many sentences as you can.

Why?  Why do you think the author chose to combine the sentences the way she did?  Combining sentences is a great way to revise. It helps make writing more concise and connected.

Now, let’s try combining!  Combine the following sentences from Criss Cross. Try to use an AAAWWUBBIS word in your combined sentences:

 He ate dinner.  Then he headed out to see Phil.  Phil was at his house.  The original sentence for #1 read:  “After he ate dinner, he headed out to Phil’s house.”

 Hector put on his shirt.  Hector slung the guitar over his shoulder.  The guitar belonged to him.  Hector was surprised at how well he had turned out.  Rowanne was surprised at how well he had turned out.  The original sentence for #2 read: “When Hector put on his shirt and slung his guitar over his shoulder, he and Rowanne were both surprised at how well he had turned out.”