“RESOURCE TAPPING” FOR SEX ADDICTS AND THEIR PARTNERS BY SHARON O’HARA, MFT CLINICAL DIRECTOR SEXUAL RECOVERY INSTITUTE LOS ANGELES, CA

Acknowledgements This presentation is based on: Tapping In and Resource Tapping by Dr. Laurel Parnell Expert in treating trauma with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)

What is Resource Tapping? A personal empowerment technique. “A method to strengthen and integrate internal resources so that we can call on them when we need them.” (Dr. Laurel Parnell)

What are internal resources?  Memories of comfort and safety  A sense of inner wisdom  Experiences of feeling powerful

What is EMDR? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Founded in 1987 by Dr. Francine Shapiro Powerful method for treating trauma Use of BLS: Bi-Lateral Stimulation

EMDR processes trauma memories at an accelerated rate when paired with alternating bi-lateral stimulation: eyes, ears, knees. Compare to REM End result: new insights, physical sense of wholeness

EMDR Caveat Need for EMDR-trained therapist to treat a client’s trauma using EMDR. “Resource tapping”: Can be taught to clients, so they use it themselves to lower anxiety (related to “resource installation” in EMDR)

Uses for Resource Tapping  Manage anxiety  Feel more centered  Handle emotional triggers  Inspire creativity  Enhance performance

 Concept of hidden natural resources  Inner drive towards wholeness, healing reservoir of positive, stored experiences  Unprocessed trauma leads to sense of stuckness, PTSD symptoms  Bi-Lateral Tapping can be used to restore balance

Differences between EMDR and Resource Tapping:  EMDR:  Focuses on the trauma memory  Has specific protocol  Uses longer periods of Bi-Lateral Stimulation  RT:  Keeps focus on the positive  Uses shorter periods of BLS  Can be used as “self-help” technique

Knees Butterfly hug Toes How to do Bi-Lateral Stimulation:

Tapping In: Basic Practice  Comfortable position, close eyes  Grounded breathing  Identify the resource you want, e.g. love  Open your senses  Tap 6-12 times

If memory turns negative  Stop  Identify another resource  Place negative memory in container  Return to peaceful place  Tap 4-6 taps

Four Important Resources: 1. Calm and peaceful place 2. Nurturing figures 3. Protective figures 4. Wisdom figures

Calm and peaceful place:  Problem with “safe place” terminology  Real or imaginary place  Protective shield  Basic practice steps (breathing, sensing, staying positive)  Use of “cue word”

Calming Imagery  Example of beach imagery on airplane  Use of drawing to evoke peaceful place  Use of neutral imagery:  Eating breakfast  Riding a bike

Who Cares for You: Nurturing Figures  Grandmother, close friend, dog  Real or imaginary (movie scene, angel)  Adult self (e.g. holding child)  Watching someone being nurtured

Tapping in a Nurturing Figure:  What do you hear, see, smell, feel in your body?  Tap only when it feels strengthening  Tap in more than one figure  Let yourself be held  Tap using butterfly hug

Who Watches Your Back: Protector Figures  Allies, real or imaginary (mythical figures)  Pets or power animals  Protective/courageous adult self  Figures from childhood or current time  Circle of protective figures  Remember to activate your senses before tapping

Who Empowers You: Wisdom Figures  Spiritual figures  White light or Inner Wise Self  Start with peaceful place  Imagine meeting inner wisdom figure  Trust your spontaneity  Ask for compassionate advice

Circle of Inner Helpers  Imagine yourself surrounded  Feel each one individually, then combined  Allow more figures to join the circle  Imagine taking the circle with you

Using Resource Tapping with Sex Addicts  Handling urges to act out  Imagine inner support team  Remember a peer’s successful story  Remember/imagine successful relapse intervention  Focus on body sense of achievement/mastery

Calming down anger  Get to safer place (move away)  Say “Can get through this”  Imagine calm scene with wisdom figure  Ask for guidance with specific situation

Handling boredom  Write down “bucket list” or “Outer Circle” activities  Pick one and imagine sensations  Identify first steps/access creativity  Imagine “attaboy” figures

Trauma first aid (car accident, abuse memories)  First move to physically safe place  Focus on moment when you knew you survived  Feel the relief and tap it in  Bring in protector/wisdom/nurturer figures  Go to peaceful place

Using Resource Tapping with Partners of Sex Addicts  Handling PTSD symptoms associated with discovery/disclosure  Get physical distance from addict  Start tapping while saying, “I can get through this”  Bring in circle of Protectors, Nurturers, Wisdom figures  Imagine “appropriate selfishness”  Focus on “next right thing” and staying present

Building self-empowerment  Go to peaceful place  Imagine a time you felt courageous  Bring in wisdom figure(s)  Draw a symbol for how you want to feel

Helping with sleep  Avoid nighttime stimulation (caffeine, exercise)  In bed, breathe from soles of feet  Imagine peaceful place/images of nature  Bring in nurturing figure/comforting animal  Evoke imagery of letting go (eagle flying)  Say “I can relax; I can let go”  Sing a lullaby in your mind

Managing general anxiety (e.g. driving a car, flying in an airplane, visiting parents, seeing dentist, taking a test, making a presentation)  Breathe while tapping without imagery (breathe, say comforting words)  Bring up peaceful place activated with all 5 senses  Activate protector figures specific to the situation  Imagine someone else (role model) handling the situation successfully  Imagine how you want to feel when situation is over

Thank you, Laurel Parnell, for your inspiration.