Revisiting the “Most Dangerous Game” Essay

Your assignment: Print out these slides at home, and put them in your notebook under Notes. I’d suggest you highlight the underlined parts. It will be part of your notebook grade.

Common Errors Most of you have the basic 2 chunk format down, but I’m still seeing problems with -formatting: stop putting extra spaces btwn paragraphs -Not enough lead-in that sets up the situation of the quote -Fragments/run-ons in CD sentences -Misplaced parenthetical citations (put before the period) -Missing sentences (2 nd CMs and CS) -Too MANY no-no words!! (this shows that…)

When these sorts of mistakes become too numerous and noticeable, it affects the overall grade. It can turn an A- into a B+ even if content is good because too many errors show a lack of proofreading and maturity in writing.

Content Errors Overall order of CD’s. If you have the quote about Rainsford jumping off the cliff in the first chunk, why do you have the one about him falling off the yacht in your second chunk? There’s a lack of continuity here.

More Content Errors Redundancy: - CS that repeats the TS - CMs that translate or paraphrase the CD/quote rather than analyze the effect of it (mistake #10) EX: In addition, Rainsford rushed away from the dogs and Zaroff preaching to himself, “I will not lose my nerve. I will not” (48). He is very cautious and constantly reminds himself that he needed to endure.

More Redundancies and Circular Arguments …”he can use his confident attitude and self- control to stay confident.” Sample TS: Rainsford also has very strong outdoor skills…(1 st CM) Rainsford is very skilled outdoors…(same paragraph, 2 nd chunk) Rainsford is using his outdoor skills to help him trap Zaroff in the ditch…(CS) His traits of being skilled outdoors are one of the strongest character traits.

Content Errors: Undeveloped, Limited, and Generic CMs This means things like both of your analysis sentences (the CMs) are shorter than your 1 CD sentence Your CM isn’t directly related to the CD you just typed OR it’s so broad/vague/generic that it could apply to any trait/idea about Rainsford EX:...Zaroff said, “I congratulate you. Not many men know how to build a Malay Man trap” (48) Rainsford is able to think up a technique that would help him the best. He can assess difficult situations and decide how to get out of them.

Weak Premise I graded dozens of essays that were variations on this weak (lame) theme: “If Rainsford hadn’t had___trait, he would have died.” Here are some real examples: -Without these skills he would never have been able to evade Zaroff or maintain his sanity. -Had he not experienced these things he would have died. -If Rainsford hadn’t used the resources he used the way he used them, he could not have beat Zaroff, and lost the game.

Showing vs. Telling The rule here is: show me how…don’t tell me what. People tell me stuff that are a given, like plot facts. Their CMs, therefore, don’t prove anything; they just repeat. This is not analysis.

Sample “CMs” that TELL WHAT instead of SHOW HOW ( after quote about complicated trail) His skills definitely help him win the most dangerous game. (after quote about him leaping into the sea) The amount of bravery Rainsford had in order to jump off a cliff was shown. (after quote about grapevine/knife/sapling trick) Rainsford creates this trap while being hunted by Zaroff and his dogs. His ability to recreate this trap greatly helps and aids Rainsford again Zaroff and Ivan.

Elevating Your Topic Sentences Okay, but average and limited: Rainsford’s resourcefulness helped him survive. Determination was the fuel to Rainsford’s mental stability. Better: Being levelheaded helps Rainsford in difficult situations by allowing him to think rationally and not be sidetracked by panic.

Best: Rainsford shows an extraordinary level of determination and an astounding amount of sheer tenacity that allows him to not only persevere while avoiding the nefarious general, but also to hold onto his beliefs. What makes this an “A” level TS?