The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Sharpen the Saw Synergize Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Think Win-Win Put First Things First Begin with the End in Mind Be Proactive

Habit 5: Seek first to understand Then to be understood You have Two ears and One mouth You have Two ears and One mouth Before I can walk in another’s shoes, I must first remove my own. Before I can walk in another’s shoes, I must first remove my own. Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf

Reflection People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care! But I hurt my arm, not my leg This should help you feel better

Five Poor Listening Styles Spacing out Spacing out Pretend listening Pretend listening Selective listening Selective listening Word listening Word listening Self-centred listening Self-centred listening

Three ways to reply based on Self-centred listening Judging Judging Advising Advising Probing Probing

Genuine listening Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears Stand in their shoes Stand in their shoes Paraphrasing Paraphrasing

Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears How you say it -Visual, Auditory, Kineasthetic -Pitch -Pace -Volume -Emotion -Detail/High level Non-verbal -Eye contact -Posture -Gestures -Facial expression

Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears Try to read the following Try to read the following -I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.

Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears

Stand in their shoes You and I are standing on the banks of a river. I am wearing green lenses and you are wearing red. You and I are standing on the banks of a river. I am wearing green lenses and you are wearing red. “Wow, look how green the water is,” “Wow, look how green the water is,” “Green? Are you crazy, the water is red,” “Green? Are you crazy, the water is red,” Hello. Are you colorblind? That’s as green as green gets.” Hello. Are you colorblind? That’s as green as green gets.” “It’s red, you idiot!” “It’s red, you idiot!”

Rich Mate Poor Mate 窮富翁大作戰

Michael Tien 田北辰

Rich Mate Poor Mate 窮富翁大作戰

Erwin Huang 黃岳永 CEO of TSL Jewellery in 2008~2010 Now CEO of WebOrganic Erwin Huang 黃岳永 CEO of TSL Jewellery in 2008~2010 Now CEO of WebOrganic

Practice paraphrasing Paraphrasing is simply repeat the meaning of what you understand in your own words. Paraphrasing is simply repeat the meaning of what you understand in your own words.

Paraphrasing vs Mimicking Mimicking isParaphrasing is Repeating wordsRepeating meaning Using the same wordsUsing your own words Cold and indifferentWarm and caring Hello, How are you?

Practice paraphrasing Start with the phrases: Start with the phrases: -“As I get it, you felt that …” -“So, as I see it …” -“I can see that you’re feeling …” -“You feel that …” -“So, what you’re saying is …”

Genuine Listening in Action – Communicating with parents They are human, but not aliens They are human, but not aliens They laugh, they cry, they get hurt … like you and me They laugh, they cry, they get hurt … like you and me They have pressures from work, from family finance, from peers … like you and me They have pressures from work, from family finance, from peers … like you and me

Genuine Listening in Action – Communicating with parents Understand them by asking: Understand them by asking: -How was your day today? -Tell me what you like and don’t like about your job -Is there anything I could do to help around the house?

Genuine Listening in Action – Communicating with parents If you try to understand them, you will get If you try to understand them, you will get -Greater respect from them -Greater trust from them

Seek to be Understood The second half of the habit The second half of the habit

The greatest fear 3,000 Americans were asked to list their greatest fears. 3,000 Americans were asked to list their greatest fears. Speaking before a group 41% Heights32% Insects & Bugs22% Financial problems22% Deep Water21% Sickness19% Death19% Speaking before a group 41% Heights32% Insects & Bugs22% Financial problems22% Deep Water21% Sickness19% Death19%

Giving constructive feedback Ask yourself: Will this feedback really help this person or am I doing it just to suit myself and fix them? Ask yourself: Will this feedback really help this person or am I doing it just to suit myself and fix them? Send “I” messages instead of “you” messages. Send “I” messages instead of “you” messages.

Giving constructive feedback You have a terrible temper. You have a terrible temper. I’m concerned that you have a temper problem. I’m concerned that you have a temper problem. You are so self-centred. You are so self-centred. I feel that you’ve been acting selfish lately. I feel that you’ve been acting selfish lately.

Reflection Exercise the following Five Effective Listening Basics and share your feedback.