Forgiveness, Who Does It, and How They Do It Michael E. McCullough University of Miami Coral Gables, Florida

Forgiveness in the Population (Poloma & Gallup, 1991) “Which do you usually do when you feel that someone has deliberately done something wrong to you?” Try to Forgive48% Try to Overlook It45% Hold Onto Resentment14% Try to Get Even 8%

Revenge and Forgiveness in Published Articles,

The “Flight From Tenderness:” “Somehow it feels more tough- minded to study discord. The scientist fears that if he looks at affiliative sentiments he may seem sentimental; if he talks about love he may seem emotional; and if he studies personal attachments he may seem personal. Better leave the whole matter to poets, to saints, or to theologians.” Gordon W. Allport (1950), A Psychological Approach to the Study of Love and Hate

Forgiveness  Pardon (A Legal Term) Condonation (Justifying an offense) Excusing (Extenuating circumstances) Forgetting (Decay of memory) Denial (Motivated Lack of Awareness) Reconciliation (Restored Relationship) Surrendering Justice Concerns

Forgiveness Is: A intrapsychic event occurring in the context of an interpersonal transgression These transgressions typically elicit negative changes in interpersonal motivations (avoidance, revenge, benevolence)

Forgiveness Is: A intrapsychic event occurring in the context of an interpersonal transgression  Typically elicit negative changes in interpersonal motivations (avoidance, revenge, benevolence) Forgiveness Is Motivational Change  Increased benevolence, reduced revenge and avoidance  Precedes (and can stimulate) prosocial changes in behavior toward the transgressor

Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations (TRIM) Inventory Avoidance “I keep as much distance between us as possible.” “I avoid him/her.” Benevolence “I want us to bury the hatchet.” “I want us to have a positive relationship again.” Revenge “I’ll make him/her pay.” “I want to see him/her hurt and miserable.”

Who Does It? Agreeableness Proneness to Negative Emotions Religion/Spirituality

TRIMs and the Big Five

EmpathyForgivenessApology Interventions Closeness How Do They Do It? Empathy is Key Rumination

Forgiveness: Implicit Temporal Dynamics “A motivational transformation... “ McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997 “ Cancellation of a debt“  Exline & Baumeister, overcoming resentment...and [trying] to have a new stance of benevolence, compassion, and even love.  Subkoviak, Enright, et al., 1995

A Generalized Model: Forgiveness, Forbearance, and Time

Forgiveness, Forbearance, and Time Intercept (β 0j ) : Initial post-transgression levels of revenge, avoidance, benevolence = Forbearance. Given a set of TRIMs y ij : Slope (β 1j (Time)): linear change in revenge, avoidance, benevolence = Trend Forgiveness. y ij = β 0j + β 1j (Time) + r ij

Post-Transgression Predictors of Forbearance and (Trend) Forgiveness

Temporary Forgiveness?

Within-Subject Correlates of Temporary Forgiveness

Forgiveness and Dyadic Satisfaction/ Commitment, McCullough et al., 1998

Mathematical Model of Relational Closeness and Reconciliation Intercept (β 0j ) : Initial levels of closeness and commitment Slope (β 1j (Time)): change in closeness and commitment over time = Reconciliation. y ij = β 0j + β 1j (Time) + r ij Given a set of measures of closeness/commitment y ij

Promoting Forgiveness via Group Interventions Non-Clinical (< 6 hrs.) vs. Control Group: d =.24. Clinical (>6 hrs.) vs. Control: d =.76. Importance of empathy promotion

The Future The Well-Being Assumption The Self-Report Assumption The Physical Health Assumption

The Well-Being Assumption Does Forgiveness Lead to Mental Health and Well-Being? Cross sectional vs. longitudinal data Associative longitudinal growth modeling Do forgiveness trajectories predict the unfolding of mental health and well-being following transgressions?

The Self-Report Assumption Is Self-Report the Best Way to Measure Forgiveness? Do self-reports converge with other measures? Alternatives to Self-Report  Retributive/avoidant/benevolent behavior in the laboratory  Reductions in facial expressions of negative and positive (affiliative) emotion

Physical Health Assumption Does Forgiveness Lead to Physical Health? Forgiveness and Physiology Forgiveness and Health in Real-Time Physiological reactivity to transgression- related laboratory challenges  Cardiovascular reactivity  Neuroendocrine  Immunologic

The Future: “When we imagine a perfect state of being we invariably imagine the unconditional triumph of love.” Gordon W. Allport (1950), A Psychological Approach to the Study of Love and Hate

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