Mediation Using Choice Theory & Non-Violent Communication Ashby Kindler & Mary Kelly Murray High School

Ground Rules 1 Person Speaks at a time Not a court of law, where one person is right and one person is wrong. “I” statements NOT “You” statements. Willing to make a plan? (no plan, no mediation)

Story Telling Coach participants to use NVC components: I. Observation II. Feelings III. Needs (introduce Glasser’s 5 needs)

Four Components I. Observation II. Feeling III. Need IV. Request

1. Observation (Specific behavioral observations free of judgments, labels, opinions) “When I hear/see/notice

Feelings NOT…I feel that… Rather

Needs – Glasser’s 5 Needs Love & Belonging

Empathy Reflect back the story the first student shared, attempting to touch on the observations, feelings, and needs

Elicit whatever Empathetic response the person listening has. Then address the person listening & … … build the bridge of understanding or empathy

Story Telling Coach participants to use NVC components: I. Observation II. Feelings III. Needs (introduce Glasser’s 5 needs) Repeat Process with other person.

Empathy Repeat process w/other person Reflect back the story the first student shared, attempting to touch on the observations, feelings, and needs

Elicit whatever Empathetic response the person listening has. Repeat the process Then address the person listening & … … build the bridge of understanding or empathy

The Plan What requests does each party have? Plan has to be agreeable to each party. Requests have to be positive action in nature. Ex. Instead of “no swearing”, might say, “using appropriate language for classroom”.

Useful Links The Center for Non-Violent Communication - The Glasser Institute -