Empowering the Individual navigating work/life transitions “The Ultimate Leadership Challenge: Shifting to Candor & Accountability” October 6, 2014 By Drs. Carolien Moors MSc

Your “Mini-MBA” With a focus on Candor and Accountability

All Behavior Serves/Served a Purpose

Philosopher & Psychiatrist Alfred Adler Stressed the need to understand individuals within their social context.

When we feel encouraged  We feel capable and appreciated, acting in a connected and cooperative way. When we feel discouraged  We may act in unhealthy ways by competing, withdrawing, giving up.

Two main motivators Behind human behavior Biological Needs Carrot and Stick Approach

Harry Harlow, Psych at U of Wisconsin Intrinsic Motivation Turned into Daniel Pink’s PAM model

What’s missing/should be emphasized? We are driven by the need to protect our Self-Esteem (A judgment of yourself) (Overall emotional evaluation of your worth)

Some of our Basic Human Tendencies We react automatically to the things we are not paying close attention to.

Some of our Basic Human Tendencies We rely on labels and categories in making judgments about ourselves and others.

Some of our Basic Human Tendencies We depend on those around us for our own interpretations of what’s going on.

Some of our Basic Human Tendencies We seek acceptance and avoid rejection.

And this gets in the way of and CANDOR

Which leads to

Some of our Basic Human Tendencies We assume that certain aspects of ourselves and others can’t be changed.

Prof. Robert Feldman Why do we Lie and Deceive Ourselves To protect against (perceived) threat to self-esteem And to prevent social conflict That’s why we lie That’s why deceive ourselves

Epictetus Greek Stoic Philosopher Born a slave “We are not disturbed by People or by Events, But by the view Which we take of them.”

Viktor Frankl The Last Freedom That no one can take away from you Is the freedom to choose Your own response To whatever situation, No matter the circumstances.

Albert Ellis Founder of the Rational Effectiveness Training  Meet Your Thinking Distortions

Six Main Irrational Thoughts 1.Fanatic Perfectionism 2.Disaster Thinking 3.Love Addiction 4.Low Frustration Tolerance 5.Wishes – Turned – Demands 6.Blame Game

Recognize any of these Thinking Distortions? Taking things too personal Drawing premature conclusions “Should”- thoughts Generalizing Exaggerating the negative Black-and-white thinking

5 Qs from Gestalt Psychology What am I doing right now, in here & now? What do I feel, what do I experience, now? What do I want right now? What do I expect, of self & others? What am I avoiding/ what do I FEAR? Closely related to EI

Seek to understand Before you seek to be understood

Take it from this wise guy

Can We Conclude… Without Self-Candor and Personal Accountability There will be little real Leadership Of any kind!

So please ask yourself … A different type of questions To consider thoughtfully And to answer candidly! If you ask better questions, you get better answers

American Author, Speaker, Pastor “A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame, and a little less than his share of the credit.”

You and Your Leadership are … … A Work in Progress. Wishing you successful Construction!