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The monks went without sleep because they were watching for the Lord; they did not speak because they were listening to God; they fasted because they were fed by the Word of God. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented— of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth. (Hebrews 11:37-38)

24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25)

An old man was asked, 'How can I find God?' He said, 'In fasting, in watching, in labors, in devotion, and, above all, in discernment. I tell you, many have injured their bodies without discernment and have gone away from us having achieved nothing. Our mouths smell bad through fasting, we know the Scriptures by heart, we recite all the Psalms of David, but we have not that which God seeks: charity and humility.’ St. Antony said, 'Some have afflicted their bodies by asceticism, but they lack discernment, and so they are far from God.'

Asceticism means to “exercise” St. Paul compares these strivings with the training that athletes employ to get in shape in order to win (1 Cor. 9:24-26,). Asceticism is the “slaying of death” in us, to liberate our nature from its bondage (St. Maximus the Confessor). “exercise yourself toward godliness.” (1 Timothy 4:7)

Start small Consistency Grows steadily Under guidance of a spiritual father or spiritual guide And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. (2 Timothy 2:5)

"If you live without struggle and without hope of becoming holy, then you are Christians only in name and not in essence. But without holiness, no one shall see the Lord [Heb. 12:14], that is to say they will not attain eternal blessedness. It is a trustworthy saying that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners [1 Tim. 1:15]. But we deceive ourselves if we think that we are saved while remaining sinners. Christ saves those sinners by giving them the means to become saints." St. Philaret of Moscow

Once, while he was praying, St. Macarius heard a voice: “Macarius, you have not yet attained such perfection in virtue as two women who live in the city.” The humble ascetic went to the city, found the house where the women lived, and knocked. The women received him with joy, and he said, “I have come from the desert seeking you in order to learn of your good deeds. Tell me about them, and conceal nothing.” The women answered with surprise, “We live with our husbands, and we have not such virtues.” But the saint continued to insist, and the women then told him, “We married two brothers. After living together in one house for fifteen years, we have not uttered a single malicious nor shameful word, and we never quarrel among ourselves. We asked our husbands to allow us to enter a women’s monastery, but they would not agree. We vowed not to utter a single worldly word until our death.” St Macarius glorified God and said, “In truth, the Lord seeks neither virgins nor married women, and neither monks nor laymen, but values a person’s free intent, accepting it as the deed itself. He grants to everyone’s free will the grace of the Holy Spirit, which operates in an individual and directs the life of all who yearn to be saved.”

“The Life of Antony” by St. Athanasius Sayings of the Desert Fathers The Philokalia Paradise of the Fathers