Employing Interdependence

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Presentation transcript:

Employing Interdependence Chapter Five Employing Interdependence

Employing Interdependence Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Developing Mutually Supportive Relationships, Journal 15 Focus Question How could you make accomplishing your success a little easier and much more fun? Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Kinds of People DEPENDENT people believe: I can’t achieve my goals by myself. I need other people to do most of the work for me. CO-DEPENDENT people believe: I’ll pursue my goals as soon as I’ve helped others get their goals. By working hard, I can get some of what I want all by myself. I’ll just do without the rest. INDEPENDENT people believe: I know I can get some of what I want by working alone, but I’ll accomplish more and have more fun if I give and receive help. INTERDEPENDENT people believe: Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Understanding How People Relate Most destructive relationships are those based on codependence. They are motivated not by their own successes, but by someone else’s approval or dependence upon them. They tend to abandon their own dreams and even endure abuse to keep the approval of others. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

The Giver – tends to be codependent The Taker – tends to be dependent Giving and Receiving The Giver – tends to be codependent The Taker – tends to be dependent The Withdrawler – tends to be independent Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Signs of Maturity Interdependence I Independence l Codependence Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Find a healthy balance of giving and receiving, and everyone benefits. Interdependence The Creator – know that life can be easier and more enjoyable when people cooperate. Maximize their success in college by seeking assistance from all available resources. Find a healthy balance of giving and receiving, and everyone benefits. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Creating a Support Network, Journal 16 Focus Question How could you create and sustain an effective support network to help you achieve your greatest dreams in college and in life? Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Creating a Support Network Seek help from Instructors Get help from College Resources Create a Project Team Start a Study Group Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Guidelines for Starting a Study Group Choose only Creators Guideline 2: Choose Group Goals Guideline 3: Choose Group Rules Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Strengthening Relationships with Active Listening, Journal 17 Focus Questions Do you know how to strengthen relationships with active listening? What are the essential skills of being a good listener? Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Clear your mind and remain silent How to Listen Actively Step 1: Listen to understand Step 2: Clear your mind and remain silent Step 3: Ask the person to expand or clarify Step 4: Reflect the other person’s thoughts and feelings Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Be Assertive, Journal 18 Focus Question How can you communicate in a style that strengthens relationships, creates better results, and builds strong self–esteem? Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

The Kinds of Communications Placators – are Victims who are dominated by their Inner Critic. They place themselves below others, protecting themselves from the sting of criticism and rejections by saying whatever they think will gain approval. Blamers – are Victims who are dominated by their inner Defender. They place themselves, above others, protecting themselves from disappointment and failure by making others fully responsible for their problems. Levelers – are Creators who are dominated by their Inner Guide. They communicate purposefully, honestly and responsibly. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Delivering I-Messages Step 1: A statement of the situation: “When you ….” Step 2: A statement of your reaction: “I felt/thought/decided…” Step 3: A request: “I’d like to ask that you…” Step 4: An invitation to respond: “Will you agree to that?” Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.