Conflict Management Strategies for your Toolkit Dr. Buddy Coleman UNC Wilmington

Strategies for Your Toolkit Strategy 1: Avoid Emotional High Jacking Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict Strategy 3: Resolve Conflict Sequential Process Strategy 1 Strategy 2 Strategy 3

Strategy 1 – Most Important One Avoid becoming emotionally high jacked Do not emotionally high jack ourselves Do not allow others to high jack us http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGBTkREbXfY

Avoid High Jacking Ourselves Psychodynamic Leadership Theory Hardwired neurological pathways; aggression and emotional states are driven by the medulla oblongata in our brains Behavioral patterns Personality development Preferences & Orientations Comfort Zone: what we like rather than dislike Needs based: satisfying our needs Resist modifying our behaviors Doing what we “want to do” Instead of what we “should do”

Do Not Allow Others to High Jack Us People who are in control of their emotions are in control Resist giving in to physiological and psychological comfort zone responses Do not take the “bait” when people and/or situations set off our emotional triggers Emotional triggers are usually developed from childhood and are our “hot buttons” that can cause us to lose control and overreact

Effective Charter Leaders Operationally defined as individuals who live, work and perform at their very best They accomplish this by being keenly aware of their strengths and weaknesses Most importantly, they modify their thinking, behaviors and decisions to think, analyze, listen and “take the high ground” rather than undermining themselves emotionally

Emotional Intelligence Understanding ourselves personally Understanding our strengths and weaknesses Maintaining an effective leadership orientation We are no longer leaders once we become emotionally high jacked Effectiveness of our actions and decisions are determined by the reactions

Emotional Triggers Defined as behaviors and situations that may cause us to respond more emotionally than rationally Usually related to childhood events, parental relationships and/or deep feelings about loved ones The emotional triggers stimulate the medulla oblongata in our brains and result in a “flight” or “fight” response Example of an emotional trigger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZpDnXYIFjo

Emotional Triggers What kind of things do people do that you dislike? What are your feelings towards people when they do things that you dislike? What are some of your emotional triggers?

Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict First we must implement Strategy 1 by always taking the high ground and avoiding being emotionally high jacked by ourselves or others Second, we must establish agreements based on purpose, mission and goals relative to behaviors and interactions for all charter school stakeholders Principal/Director, Board Members, Teachers, Parents, Students and Staff Staff development for Principal and Board Members is critical and should include personality inventories to promote understanding among charter school leaders

Preventing Conflict Establish behavioral agreements for discussions, interactions and decision making These must be in alignment with charter school mission, purpose and goals Behavioral agreements must also be congruent with the roles of principal, board members, teachers and parents. Charter school leaders must focus on managing the interpersonal dynamics of all charter school stakeholders

Preventing Conflict Establish and commit to agreements Written guidelines for interaction Types of agreements include: Communication Behaviors Assumptions Trust Feedback

Example of Behavioral Agreements “We agree to… Open, honest, & regular communication No silent disagreements Collaborate with each other…focus on win-win Anticipate opportunities and issues Assume positive Intent Respect each other Maintain confidentiality Keep our promises Provide immediate feedback to anyone who violates an agreement Support each other to ensure a successful charter school

Preventing Conflict It our responsibility, as charter school leaders, to resolve interpersonal conflicts ASAP in meaningful ways relative to maintaining healthy relationships to work together to stay on point Leaders must be able to understand and be able to deal with feelings, disagreements and issues This is our responsibility

Preventing Conflict To be successful, charter school leaders must establish high quality, trusting personal relationships with their teachers, parents and board members This is accomplished by: Building relationships based on openness, expertise and a willingness to listen to the views, opinions, and priorities of your stakeholders Maintaining an even-handed and controlled approach in all interactions. Guiding stakeholders via personal interactions rather than positional authority and allowing time for them to process issues and decisions.

Preventing Conflict Board Members’ Roles Board Members’ Abilities Preparation: Does the board have a clear sense of how it will conduct oversight of the academic program and fiscal health of the organization? Board Members’ Abilities Capacity and Composition: Does the board the have the skills and expertise to govern? Board Members/Principal Governance Structure: Is the proposed governance structure in line with best practice? Clarity: Is there clear delineation of the authority and duties of the board, school leader, parents, teachers, and contractor, such as an education service provider (ESP) or a charter management organization (CMO)?

Preventing Conflict Charter school leader’s ability to maintain a professional, controlled orientation Effectively use communication and listening skills to promote positive and constructive interactions Establish formal structures and operationally define roles that are clearly understood

Strategy 3: Resolving Conflict First, Strategies 1 and 2 must be implemented Next, if conflict occurs…or rather when conflict occurs, then we, as leaders, must take appropriate action to resolve the conflict in meaningful and positive ways We begin by making sure that we understand conflict

Resolving Conflict Is conflict good? Is conflict bad? Neither How we understand & respond to conflict is the key

Resolving Conflict Avoid blame game Avoid getting emotional Do not take it personally Effective listening, understanding and communication skills Make it clear you are there to help

Resolving Conflict Operationally defining conflict as a state of unresolved differences: Within an individual Between individuals An individual and a group Or two or more groups Based on caring about something Difficulty getting or giving something Between two or more people, locked in an interdependent relationship What one party does affects the other party

Simplest Way to Resolve Conflict Eliminate the relationship Leave the interdependent relationship Refuse to interact with the other person(s) In many situations this is not practical As charter school leaders, this is not usually possible Therefore, we must learn how to address and deal with conflict

Types & Sources of Organizational Conflicts Interpersonal Exists when people interact in ways to try and achieve goals and objectives They have different attitudes, personalities, values, backgrounds and experiences Competition for and/or management of resources Limited resources Resource decision making Standardized Operating Procedures (SOPs) Controls to manage behavior Resistance to rules Line-Staff Relationships Authority issues Resistance to control Different Understandings of Goals

Five Ways to Deal With Conflict Denial/Avoid/Withdraw Positional Power Accommodation Compromise Collaborating

Denial/Avoid/Withdraw Issues are not addressed Use if – The issues or timing is not critical; a cooling off period is required for both parties; and more information is needed is needed to resolve conflict Do not use if –The situation requires immediate attention or when one party remains frustrated by the avoidance of the issue

Positional Power Authoritative Use if – Swift action is needed in resolving the conflict Do not use if - Concern for the parties involved is not clear and the consequences of the action taken have not been considered

Accommodation Low on assertiveness, but high on cooperation Use if – it will allow for a better position to be heard; the preservation of the relationship is more important than the issue; or, the most important one, you are wrong. Do not use if – the issue is significant and must be resolved sooner than later

Compromise Moderately cooperative and assertive Use if – The issue or goal is of moderate importance and both parties involved feel a compromise would help in the resolution. Do not use if – Only one party is willing to give up something. Negotiation is not possible.

Collaborating Win-Win Approach Use if – There are shared values or goals, time is available and the power among the parties is balanced; also if there is effective communication and the concerns are too important to compromise Do not use if – There is no balance of power between the parties, the values and goals are not shared, or poor communication exists between the parties

Charter School Conflicts Tension among board members Power, accountability and control: Principal & Board Principal, Board & Sponsoring District Principal & Teachers Principal & Parents Teachers & Parents Teachers & Students

Conflict Situations Discussion What are some conflict situations in your charter school? What do you think is causing these conflict situations?

Strategies for Your Toolkit Strategy 1: Avoid Emotional High Jacking Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict Strategy 3: Resolve Conflict Sequential Process Strategy 1 Strategy 2 Strategy 3

Questions