7 Habits of Statesville Middle Private Victory to Public Victory Habit 4: Think Win-Win Kathy Walker Instructional Facilitator, EIMS kwalker@iss.k12.nc.us Twitter: IFatEast

The End in Mind [Learning Targets] Understand Emotional Bank Account Seek Mutual Benefit Create Win-Win Agreements Build win-win Systems

Private Victory to Public Victory The Private Victory must precede the Public Victory. Your can’t invert that process any more than you can harvest before you plant. -Stephen R. Covey 79

The Maturity Continuum Trust Trustworthiness 80 Private Victory to Public Victory

The Emotional Bank Account Video The Emotional Bank Account 82 Private Victory to Public Victory

The Emotional Bank Account Deposits Seek first to understand. Show kindness, courtesy, respect. Keep promises. Be loyal to the absent. Set clear expectations. Apologize. Give feedback (“I” messages). Forgive. Withdrawals Assume you understand. Show unkindness, discourtesy, disrespect. Break promises. Be disloyal, badmouth. Create unclear expectations. Be proud and arrogant. Give no feedback or evaluate character (“you” messages). Hold grudges. 82 Private Victory to Public Victory

Skill Result Attitude Private Victory to Public Victory 84

Win-Lose Conditioning Video Win-Lose Conditioning 4 87 Habit Think Win-Win

Habit 4 Think Win-Win What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? -George Eliot 87

Habit 4: Think Win-Win 4 88 Habit Think Win-Win

Habit 4—Principle Paradigm Effective, long-term relationships require mutual respect and mutual benefit. Ineffective: There is only so much, and the more you get , the less there is for me. [scarcity mentality] Effective: There is plenty out there for everyone and more to spare. [abundance mentality] Behavior: Balance courage and consideration, seek mutual benefit, create win-win agreements, build win-win systems Results: faster solutions to problems, generosity of spirit, rich relationships, more team involvement. Result Behavior 4 89 Habit Think Win-Win

Effective: There is plenty out there for everyone, and more to spare. Habit 4—Paradigms Ineffective: There is only so much, and the more you get, the less there is for me. Effective: There is plenty out there for everyone, and more to spare. 4 89 Habit Think Win-Win

Win-Win Win-Lose Lose-Win Lose-Lose Win Win-Win or No Deal The Six Paradigms of Human Interaction Win-Win Win-Lose Lose-Win Lose-Lose Win Win-Win or No Deal 4 90–91 Habit Think Win-Win

Video Win-Win Thinking 4 92 Habit Think Win-Win

“We live by the principle that ‘my success is your success.’” xQ Tells You… “We live by the principle that ‘my success is your success.’” 33% 4 93 Habit Think Win-Win

In situations of conflict In long-term relationships When to Think Win-Win In situations of conflict In long-term relationships In interdependent situations 4 93 Habit Think Win-Win

The Courage-and-Consideration Grid Win-Lose Win-Win Lose-Lose Lose-Win Win-Lose = the totem pole “I’m better”, ‘No, I’m better’ Lose-Win = the doormat – abusive relationships one-sided Lose-Lose = the downward spiral – ‘if I’m going down, then you’re going with me!’ Win-win = the all you can eat buffet; 4 94 Habit Think Win-Win

Seek Mutual Benefit 4 95 Liz & Kate Liz wants responsibility; Kate wants infection rate reduced. Liz: New title and promotion 10 percent pay increase Important project Kate: Infection down 50 percent Within 6 months Within guidelines To seek mutual benefit: Win the private victory first Avoid the tumor twins: competing and comparing 4 95 Habit Think Win-Win

Desired Results Guidelines Resources Accountability Consequences Win-Win Agreements Desired Results Guidelines Resources Accountability Consequences 4 96 Habit Think Win-Win

Video Win-Win Agreements 4 96 Habit Think Win-Win

Win-Win Systems For win-win to work inside a team or an organization, the systems need to support it: training, planning, communication, budgeting, information, compensation. 4 99 Habit Think Win-Win

Teach to Learn 4 100–101 Habit Think Win-Win

Resources Franklin-Covey Signature Series Program Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck