Janet Newton's Website Plymouth High School Plymouth, Wisconsin

According to Miss Elizabeth Post in her well respected resource, Etiquette, A Guide to Modern Manners, “When the bride and groom sit down at the bridal table, [the best man] sits on the bride’s right, and it is his responsibility to make the first toast to the newlyweds (788).

Miss Manners also reassures couples who plan to marry that they are not required to sit at a formal table, but may simply mingle with their guests. However, she does say, “at some point the best man must round them all up and bring them together to join him in a toast to the couple” (904).

THE TOAST TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM  At a sit-down bridal table, champagne is poured as soon as the party is seated.  The glass of the bride is filled first, then that of the bridegroom, and then on around the table, starting with the maid of honor at the groom’s left.  The best man proposes a toast to the bride and bridegroom. It is usually a very short toast, and somewhat sentimental.  All except the bride and groom rise, raise their glasses, and drink the toast.

 Then the groom stands and replies with thanks and a toast to his new wife.  Other toasts may be offered by anyone who cares to propose one. Telegrams [or other written messages] that have arrived for the newlyweds are usually read aloud at this time.  At a large reception only those at the bridal table join in the toast, but at a small one all the guests may join in drinking together to the couple’s health and happiness.

Here are some toasts you can amend to fit the occasion when you are given the honor of making a toast at a wedding reception:  A BEST MAN’S TOAST TO THE BRIDAL COUPLE AT A WEDDING RECEPTION—  To Mary and John—a beautiful bride, a wonderful man—and the happiest couple I ever hope to see!  To Mary and John—may they always be as happy as they look today. (906)

 1. Introduction and Thank You:  Anytime you address an audience, it helps if they know who you are and why you’re talking.  You’ll also want to make sure while talking that you thank everyone who has helped to make the day come together,  AND, complimenting how nice the bride looks doesn’t hurt either.

 2. How You Know the Bride and Groom:  People love stories, so you can include in your speech how you know the bride/groom.  You can talk about how you met, or how long you’ve known each other.  It doesn’t have to be long – keeping it brief and simple is fine.

 3. Why the Couple is Perfect for Each Other:  Wedding toasts are supposed to celebrate the two people getting married, so saying anything that says why you think they will have a happy marriage is very appropriate.

 4. Throw in some quotes:  A short line of poetry or a famous romantic love quote for a best man speech is always a good stand-by if you can’t think of anything else.  Don’t go quote crazy, but a well selected one can really help.

 5. Add a touch of humor:  Saying something mildly funny or amusing that is appropriate for all audiences can be a great ice breaker.  Be sure that it doesn’t cross into the no- no territories of religion, politics, the couple’s sex life, or crude humor.  Saying something light and appropriate will make your audience stay awake during the wedding toasts.

 6. Dish out advice sparingly:  Most best man speeches or wedding toasts offer some sort of advice. If your toast includes advice, make sure it doesn’t cross into the no- nos of adding a touch of humor in wedding toasts as mentioned above.  If the advice can’t be given simply and without making the bride and groom feel good, it’s probably better to leave it out.

 7. Stay sober:  Staying sober before and during a best man speech or wedding toast is very important.  Being drunk before the wedding toasts have started is not going to leave a good impression on the wedding guests or the bride and groom.

 This is just a simple guide to writing wedding toasts – you are certainly able to be as creative or original as you’d like to be in your best man speech or other wedding toasting responsibility.  If you ever have any doubts though about what to say, asking the bride and groom can certainly also point you in the right direction. (

 According to Miss Post, “There should always be a wedding cake, no matter how simple, and there are always toasts to the newlyweds. Otherwise the party is much like any other restaurant dinner …” (911).

 As for the maid of honor, Miss Post says, “She sits on the groom’s left at the bridal table. She may or may not make a toast opt the couple” (783).

 One of the most important traditions of a Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor is to give the Bride a Toast.  Traditionally, the speech would be given during the wedding party in the first half (before people begin to leave) and would focus on the bride.

 Bridesmaid 101 recommends making a wedding toast that includes various emotions.  The best toasts include funny stories growing up with sentimental friendship and love.  Some Maids of Honor like to be spontaneous and not rehearse anything prior to making the toast while others (the majority) usually bring notes or a prepared speech.

 Bridesmaid 101's words of advice are if you are a person who does not like to speak in front of others when making a speech, make sure to rehearse and bring a hard copy wedding speech.

 Stories of what the bride used to share with you about the groom when she first met him.  Funny story while growing up  How you and the bride met and how long you both have known each other  Most "appropriately" embarrassing moment you shared with the bride  How beautiful the bride and groom look together

 Talk about a funny habit of the bride that the groom will have to live with :)  A spiritual statement (if the bride and groom are spiritual people)  Words of advice to both the bride and groom  Wishes you have for the newlyweds (e.g., success, happiness, many babies)

 In your wedding toast speech, DO NOT use any of the following trite quotes from About.com; however, they may inspire you to come up with your own text:

 Here's to the prettiest, here's to the wittiest, Here's to the truest of all who are true, Here's to the neatest one, here's to the sweetest one, Here's to them, all in one - here's to you.

 Here's to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart.

 A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to these beautiful bridesmaids.  We admire them for their beauty, respect them for their intelligence, adore them for their virtues, and love them because we can't help it.

 May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.

 She knows all about me and loves me just the same.

 It is written: when children find true love, parents find true joy. Here's to your joy and ours, from this day forward.

 Let us toast the health of the bride; Let us toast the health of the groom, Let us toast the person that tied; Let us toast every guest in the room.

 Look down you gods, and on this couple drop a blessed crown.  Remember that if you ever put your marital problems on the back burner they are sure to boil over.  Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.

 My greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

 It don't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home!  May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.  Marriage: A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves --making in all, two.

 May the roof above you never fall in and may you both never fall out.  To the lamp of love - may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial.  May 'for better or worse' be far better than worse.

 The man or woman you really love will never grow old to you. Through the wrinkles of time, through the bowed frame of years, You will always see the dear face and feel The warm heart union of your eternal love.  May you have many children and may they grow mature in taste and healthy in color and as sought after as the contents of the glass.

 Your task is to write and deliver a mock Wedding Toast addressed to a sibling or a very close friend and his or her spouse.  Your audience should not know the newlywed’s spouse.  Not knowing him or her will make your task much more realistic because almost half of the guests at a wedding reception probably do not know both the bride and the groom personally.  Although creating and delivering this speech is always a lot of fun, please take the assignment seriously.  See the guidelines posted on the class website for more details and for links to selected videos of good, bad, and terrible wedding toast speeches.