Jo Todd Men’s Involvement in Children’s Lives Tuesday 31 st March 2009 respect

Respect’s progress… Set up in 2000 Set up in 2000 Membership organisation Membership organisation Perpetrators of domestic violence Perpetrators of domestic violence Focus on programmes Focus on programmes Promoting best practice / supporting members Promoting best practice / supporting members Influencing public policy Influencing public policy 2004 Respect Phoneline – perpetrators 2004 Respect Phoneline – perpetrators

Respect diversifying… 2006 Men’s Advice Line – male victims 2006 Men’s Advice Line – male victims 2008 Dads’ Space – virtual contact centre – focus on fathers 2008 Dads’ Space – virtual contact centre – focus on fathers Developing work with young people Developing work with young people Accreditation Accreditation Research Research Men and masculinities Men and masculinities

Let’s talk about men Positive changes in men’s roles in society Positive changes in men’s roles in society Greater involvement in family life Greater involvement in family life Nurturing and care-giving as well as providing for and playing with children Nurturing and care-giving as well as providing for and playing with children Need for men to be a positive influence on children and young people – ‘role models’ Need for men to be a positive influence on children and young people – ‘role models’

Let’s talk about men 2 Men’s violence against women Men’s violence against women Don’t panic! I don’t mean all men Don’t panic! I don’t mean all men And I don’t mean women aren’t violent And I don’t mean women aren’t violent Men’s violence against women is a specific social phenomenon Men’s violence against women is a specific social phenomenon Don’t be scared to name it / make it visible Don’t be scared to name it / make it visible Some men are a risk – to children and their mothers Some men are a risk – to children and their mothers

Men and children Celebrate and promote the positive contribution that men make to children’s lives Celebrate and promote the positive contribution that men make to children’s lives Recognise and manage the risk that some men pose Recognise and manage the risk that some men pose

Political agenda ‘Think Fathers’ campaign – DCSF ‘Think Fathers’ campaign – DCSF ‘Kids in the Middle’ – support for separating families – DCSF ‘Kids in the Middle’ – support for separating families – DCSF ‘Violence Against Women’ strategy – Home Office ‘Violence Against Women’ strategy – Home Office

Men and children 2 Real people’s lives are messy Real people’s lives are messy Rarely as simple as 100% positive vs 100% negative Rarely as simple as 100% positive vs 100% negative We need to find solutions that encourage positive fathering while ensuring women and children’s safety isn’t overlooked We need to find solutions that encourage positive fathering while ensuring women and children’s safety isn’t overlooked

Solutions… Perpetrator programmes need to focus more on positive fathering post domestic violence Perpetrator programmes need to focus more on positive fathering post domestic violence Fathering programmes need to focus more on safety and risk management Fathering programmes need to focus more on safety and risk management Learning and sharing between the two sectors Learning and sharing between the two sectors Dads’ Space and services like it Dads’ Space and services like it

Solutions… Giving men the tools to name VAW / talk about it Giving men the tools to name VAW / talk about it Encouraging individual men to intervene Encouraging individual men to intervene Men’s coordinated action Men’s coordinated action Healthy relationships / sex education with boys and young men Healthy relationships / sex education with boys and young men Listening to the needs of children and young people Listening to the needs of children and young people

So in children’s lives, men can be: The Problem The Problem The Solution The Solution The challenge for us all is to be able to hold both of these realities at once… and not fear that acknowledging one negates the other

1 st Floor, Downstream Building 1 London Bridge London SE1 9BG T: F: E: W: respect