Procrastination 2012/10/7

The cycle of procrastination I will start early this time. I have got to start soon. What if I don’t stop? There’s still time. There’s something wrong with me. The Final Choice: To Do or Not to Do. I’ll never procrastinate again!

Fear of Failing Are you a perfectionist? I must be perfect. I can’t stand to lose. Everything I do should go easily and without effort. It’s safer to do nothing than to take a risk and fail. I should have no limitations. If it’s not done right, it’s not worth doing at all. Doing It alone. All or nothing.

Self-worth = Ability = Performance Procrastination Self-worth = Ability = Performance Performance can no longer be equated with ability because complete effort has not been made. As long as you procrastinate, you never have to confront the real limits of your ability, whatever those limits are. Question: Are you setting standards for yourself that enable you to make progress, or do your standards lead you to become discouraged, frustrated, and stuck? Performance can no longer be equated with ability because complete effort has not been made.

It’s not how high your standards are makes you a perfectionist. It’s how far below your standards you perceive your performance to be, how unrealistic and inhibiting your standards are for you, and how harshly you judge yourself for not meeting them. 而是你覺得自己的表現落後標準多大，而那些標準多麼不切實際和強人所難，以及你對妤自己無法達到目標的標準有多嚴苛

Fear of Success “If I do well this time, I must always do well! ” They procrastinate to hide their ambition, because they think there’s something wrong with being competitive in the first place. They don’t make an all-out effort. They worry about escalating expectations from others. Example: high jumper They are afraid of winning, so they don’t make an all-out effort

“I’ll Turn into a Workaholic.” “I must avoid being challenged.” Afraid that you will no longer be yourself, you will turn into someone you don’t like Afraid of leading to a loss of control and a loss of choice in one’s life “If I succeed, someone will get hurt.” You may concerned that your good news will be bad news to someone else. No one likes a braggart. Example: got the A for your last-minute paper protect someone’s feelings. They have diminished themselves in order to prop up someone else. When you assume that being successful means that you are hurting someone else, success becomes equated with aggression. You may use procrastination to hold yourself back, so that you won’t have to live with guilt.

“I Don’t Deserve Success.” “I will not being successful.” “I Could Get Hurt.” Many of us have learned that our successes can indeed trigger retaliation and jealousy. “I Don’t Deserve Success.” Failure is like a punishment. “I will not being successful.” Feeling inadequate, unprepared, or unappealing, they don’t expect to succeed at anything, so they simply don’t try in the first place. Procrastination can be used as punishment for an imaginary“crime.”

“What If I’m Too Perfect?” They would be the object of everyone’s envy. “I am perfect, but I shouldn’t be. I have to hide it.” The sense of superiority that goes along with feeling “too perfect” is a cover for a deeper sense of inferiority. As long as they believe they are flawed by their own choice, they can maintain the belief that they still are perfect.

Success would push people away? Try to stand back and take a more objective look at your situation. You fear something doesn’t mean it’s true now and forever. Change may feel risky. Success does not come all at once. As you begin to resolve the anxieties that lead you to procrastinate, you will make progress toward your goals. Trust yourself you can change and adapt to new circumstances, even to success.

Fear of losing control “Following someone else’s rules means that I’m giving in and I’m not in control.” Self-worth = Ability (to be autonomous, defy control) = Performance (on my terms, via procrastination) “Get Off My Back.” “Rules Are Made to Be Broken.”

“What am I reacting to? ” Someone is, in fact, trying to control you, restrict your individual effort, or take advantage of you. But sometime is the reaction of your own apprehension instead of to the realities of the situation. If you are compelled to fight every battle that comes along, you are not truly free or powerful. To be truly free, you must be able to choose which battles to fight and which to cede.

Tell yourself… It is not possible to be perfect. Making an effort is a good thing. It is not a sign of stupidity or weakness. Failure is not dangerous. Failure is an ordinary part of every life. The real failure is not living. Everyone has limitations, including me. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth making mistakes along the way. Challenge will help me grow.

Tell yourself… (cont.) I’m entitled to succeed, and I can deal with other people’s reactions to my success. If I do well this time, I still have a choice about next time. Following someone else’s rules does not mean I have absolutely no power. If I show my real self, I can have real relationships with people who like the real me. There are many possible answers, and I need to find what I feel is right.

Your procrastination today Areas of procrastination? Household, Work (Paid or Volunteer), School, Personal Care, Social Relationships, Finances…. Your style of procrastinating? I go to sleep. I start calling my friends. I sit and stare…. Your excuses for procrastinating? I’ve got to get organized first; I don’t have everything I need I don’t have time to do it all now, so there’s no point in starting. I’ve been working so hard—I deserve a break… It might not be good enough.

Things you need to know… Whatever your excuse, no matter how tired, uninspired, or busy you are, you can always spend just fifteen minutes working toward your goal. People who don’t procrastinate experience these difficulties, too, but they consider what they can do and get started. Overcoming your aversion to starting a task is not about proving yourself ; rather, it is a way to stretch yourself.

Now, try to think in this way…. I’m tired. I’ll just work for fifteen minutes and then I’ll go to bed. This may not turn out perfectly, but I’ll learn a lot from doing it. It might not be good enough, but I’ll give it a try anyway. I don’t have enough time to finish now—but I’ll spend fifteen minutes on it. This is going to be hard, so I’d better leave enough time to work out the problems.

Setting and Achieving Goals The behavioral goal It is observable by you and others It is specific and concrete It can be broken down into small steps The first step can be accomplished in just five minutes

The Start-Up The Follow-Through Visualize Your Progress Optimize Your Chances Stick to a Time Limit. Don’t Wait Until You Feel Like It. The Follow-Through Watch Out for Your Excuses Focus on One Step at a Time Work Around Obstacles Reward Yourself After You’ve Made Some Progress Be Flexible about Your Goal It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect.

Looking Back Assess Your Progress (or Lack Thereof) Examine Your Feelings. Review Your Choice Points. What Have You Learned?

Thinking about time The un-schedule

Techniques to improve your timing Practice Telling Time Compare your predictions about how long things take with what actually happens when you do them. Use Little Bits of Time “Swiss cheese” method “Poking holes” in a large task by using little bits of time instead of waiting for one large block of time. You can probably stand anything for fifteen minutes.

Expect interruptions and disruptions Delegate There are limits to what you can control. Delegate First things first;second things, not at all Don’t spread yourself too thin. Aren’t there things you really could give up? You may lose something in the process, but is it necessary for the sake of the greater goal? Identify Your Prime Time. Realize that you have human limits.

Work on balancing your perspective on Past, Present, and Future. If you’re stuck in the past, you can’t enjoy the present or plan for the future. If you’re stuck in the present, you’re at the mercy of the immediate moment. If you’re stuck in the future, you’re locked in a world of fantasy, and all you do is plan or worry. Enjoy Your “Free” Time.