MUSLIM EMPIRES DBQ EXAMPLES OF HIGH-QUALITY THESIS STATEMENTS, POV, ADDT’L DOC REQUESTS, AND TOPIC SENTENCES…

GOOD THESIS “While the overall political and religious climates of the Muslim Empires in 1450-1750 were tense, religious tolerance can be seen in the Mughal and Ottoman Empires.”

GOOD THESIS “The political and religious climate of the Muslim Empires in c. 1450-1750 was very tense…The military was needed to support the government and to back up political decisions, while the religious tension was a result of the close proximity of various religious groups.”

GOOD THESIS “Documents 1, 6, 9 and 10 discuss the militaristic political climate of the [Gunpowder] Empires c. 1450-1750, while documents 1, 5, 7, 8 and 10 describe the tolerant religious climate of the [Gunpowder] Empires, and documents 2, 3, 4 and 10 display the religiously intolerant climate of the empires.”

GOOD THESIS, AND GOOD TOPIC SENTENCES “Documents 7 and 8 portray a tolerant religious climate throughout the Muslim Empires c. 1450-1750, while documents 1,2,[3] and 9 show an intolerant religious climate. Documents 1,4, and 10 show a diverse religious climate. Documents 3, 5, and 7 portray a tense political climate.” Topic sentence, paragraph 1: Documents 7 and 8 show a tolerant religious climate throughout the Muslim Empires. Topic sentence, paragraph 2: Documents 1,2,3 and 9 show an intolerant religious climate. Topic sentence, paragraph 3: Documents 1, 4 and 10 show a diverse religious climate. Topic sentence, paragraph 4: Documents 5 and 6 show a tense political climate. Still, should be two sentences, and could be more delicately worded, but whatever.

USING DOCS SPECIFICALLY, IN ORDER TO SUPPORT THE THESIS The Muslim Empires of 1450-1750 had a very diverse religious climate… Paragraph 1, topic sentence: “Docs 1,2,3,4,5,7,8, and 10 show the diversity of the Muslim empires’ religious climate.” Subsequent use of examples from all listed docs: Doc 1 shows that there were Jews and Christians in most major Turkish cities…Doc 2 shows that there was a large Hindu population in the Mughal empire. Doc 3 shows that the[re] were Christian missionaries in the Safavid Empire. Doc 4 shows how the Sikhs interacted with Hindus, Muslims and Buddhists. Doc 5 shows that there was both of the major Islamic sects and Hindus in the Mughal empire. Doc 7 shows that there was a lot of discussion and possibly syncretism among different religions. Doc 8 shows the interactions between Hindus and Muslims. Doc 10 shows the varieties of religions in all the empires…”

HOW MIGHT WE FIX THIS PARAGRAPH?? Documents 1,7, and 8 demonstrate the tolerant religious climate of the Muslim Empires. “…Document 1…[references] the Janissaries’ purpose of protecting the local weaker religions. In document 8 Jahangir [justifies the protection of] the Hindus because they are ‘usefully engaged’ and benefiting the [empire]. The painting in document 7 shows Akbar’s tolerance [of] the Jesuits.” Needs a topic sentence with the group, and the words “religious climate.”

GOOD POV : Why does this person have this particular perspective GOOD POV : Why does this person have this particular perspective? “BECAUSE…” “Document 3 is taken from the perspective of a missionary who traveled to the Safavid Empire in order to convert others to Christianity. However, the missionary failed and upon his return to Spain, brought along with him the point of view that all those of the Safavid Empire were rude, inconsiderate, and [disingenuous] peoples who merely feigned appreciation of the Spanish missionaries. This perspective is taken, of course, only because the missionary was unsuccessful.”

GOOD POV “Doc 3 shows how the Muslims didn’t like the Christian missionaries. However, Father Simon may have exaggerated the Muslims’ hostility because of his mission’s failure, and he didn’t want the King to think it was his fault.”

GOOD POV “Document 3, which is about the Safavid empire, shows the ruler Shah Abbas’s disrespect for Christian traditions… However, coming from a group that was a minority in the Safavid Empire, Father Simon, the author of Document 9, probably felt that the Muslim shah was more oppressive than he actually was… Because Father Simon came to the Safavid Empire to explore missionary work, it is clear that he viewed Muslims as wrong and thus would have been more critical of Islamic rule.”

PROBABLY, OR ALMOST THERE POV… “Document 8 also discusses the role of religion in regard to the political climate of the Mughal Empire, but is written by one of the emperors, and thus could be biased when he describes how his father was so tolerant of the Hindus.” BETTER: Jahangir may have exaggerated Akbar’s level of tolerance, because he would have wanted to positively portray his Muslim family to his Hindu subjects (especially given the tense religious climate in the Mughal Empire). Why would he be biased??

NOT ENOUGH!!! “I would like to see a document from the Jews or Hindus that were suppressed during this time. I feel that a document like this would help me better understand the political and [religious] climates.” Basic, but totally acceptable. You can’t just ask for a document from someone because they aren’t represented. It has to be someone who absolutely isn’t represented, and who also would help you answer the question. Do not ask for someone who is already represented, and do not ask for someone who won’t help you answer the question.

ENOUGH TO COUNT: “Another document, which would be helpful in further understanding the religious climate of the Muslim empires from 1450-1750, would be an account written by an indigenous follower of Judaism (or some religious minority). This would give us information about how such minorities adapted to the changes in religious climate and what their perspective was on larger religions which may have oppressed them and their faith. It could show us if they were politically oppressed, legally oppressed, or economically oppressed. It would also help us understand how the policies of tolerant or intolerant leaders actually affected communities of citizens within these empires, as opposed to just showing us the opinions of visitors.” Although technically, we have some Christians…