+ Basics of Christian Counseling St. Mark Coptic Orthodox Church Washington, D.C. – March 25, 2009 Yousry Armanios, M.D.

Jesus: The Most-Wonderful Counselor “For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government shall be upon His shoulder. And His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)

Who Are You? ServantsTeachersCounselors

Who is a “Christian Counselor”? A Christian Counselor is that who can Love & Care! And that is how change happens!

“The Wonderful Counselor”! “The Wonderful Counselor”! Why is Jesus so Wonderful?

He Knows Our Weakness He was tried in everything; He is capable of helping!

What Does Make Us Better Counselors? 1. Love, Compassionately: I have to be Love too! 2. Be Non-Judgmental:“… nor Me too”! 3. Avoid Curiosity: The Issue of Curiosity 4. Are you Listening? Listening on His behalf! 5. Invoke Hope: “… for He is our Hope”! 6. Think God’s Mind: “the Wisdom of the Spirit”! 7. Speak God’s Words: It is His word, not mine!

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two- edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) wordquickswordpiercingof discernerthoughtsintentswordquickswordpiercingof discernerthoughtsintents

How is Christian Counseling Different? Reveals Love of Christ Reveals Love of Christ Presents Forgiveness to the Guilty Presents Forgiveness to the Guilty Offers Cover to the Shamed Offers Cover to the Shamed Heals the Hurt in the Holy Spirit Heals the Hurt in the Holy Spirit Gives Hope to the Hopeless Gives Hope to the Hopeless Makes Changing & Growing Possible Makes Changing & Growing Possible Leads to a Functional Life Leads to a Functional Life

Christian Counseling is about: Love & Wisdom Love & Wisdom Knowledge Knowledge Experience & Skills Experience & Skills Responsibility Responsibility

Love in Wisdom Love, NOT Enabling Love, NOT Enabling A Talent to “Discern” A Talent to “Discern” Sensitivity to the Other Sensitivity to the Other Meeting Needs or Expectations? Meeting Needs or Expectations? Confidentiality: A Must! Confidentiality: A Must! Keeping the Boundaries Keeping the Boundaries Keep an Eye on Yourself too Keep an Eye on Yourself too

Knowledge Human Nature Human Nature Human Development Human Development Human Mind Human Mind Human Defenses Human Defenses Dynamics of Human Behavior Dynamics of Human Behavior Patterns of Dysfunction Patterns of Dysfunction Basics of Treatment Basics of Treatment

The Need for Experience Extremely Important: Need for Training Need for Training Need for Supervision Need for Supervision Need for Evaluation Need for Evaluation Time Factor to Learn More Time Factor to Learn More Updated Education Updated Education Sharpening Skills, all the time Sharpening Skills, all the time Most-Importantly: Keep Your Humbleness Most-Importantly: Keep Your Humbleness

Responsibility What’s Expected from a Christian Counselor Being Mature, Real Mature! Being Mature, Real Mature! Role-Modeling Role-Modeling No Hypocrisy, not at all! No Hypocrisy, not at all! Sacrificing Sacrificing Never to Give Up, but to find Alternatives Never to Give Up, but to find Alternatives Follow His Themes! Follow His Themes! Accountability Accountability

Christian Counselor are Tools in the Hand of the Comforter “Comfort, comfort My people, says the Lord” (Isaiah 40:1)

Who Are His People? 1. The Sick 2. The Rejected 3. The Forgotten 4. The Prisoner 5. The Needy 6. The Tried 7. The Weak 8. The Worried 9. The Sad 10. The Lonely

Highly Needed “Christian” Skills (1) 1. Therapeutic Rapport & Alliance 2. Respect 3. Genuineness 4. Identification of Feelings 5. Active & Empathetic Listening 6. Reading Non-Verbal Languages 7. Continuous Attachment

Highly Needed “Christian” Skills (2) 1. Concreteness 2. Leadership 3. Fairness & Neutrality 4. Non-Judgmental Attitudes 5. Managing Self-Disclosures & Catharsis 6. How to Confront? 7. Crisis Management

Significant Considerations 1. Individual Differences (Age, Gender …) 2. Ranking 3. Level of Education 4. Culture and Background 5. Psychological Issues 6. Communication Skills 7. Spiritual & Religious Background

The Counseling Process Makes Peace with: Self, God & Others Makes Peace with: Self, God & Others Coordinate Feelings, Thinking & Acting Coordinate Feelings, Thinking & Acting Advice Giving Advice Giving Dealing with Human Defensiveness: Dealing with Human Defensiveness: 1. Denials 2. Rationalizations 3. Minimizations 4. Procrastinations 5. Self-Pettiness

Stages of Recovery 1. Hitting the Bottom! 2. Looking for an Outlet 3. Destroying the High Walls 4. Yielding to the Work of the Grace 5. Enjoying Freedom from Prison 6. Peace with All 7. Becoming a Counselor Yourself!

Remember Always that: “With God, all things are possible” (Mark 10:27)

Thank You Q & A

Contact Information My Name: Dr. Yousry Armanios Address: (M) (H)