Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus …Even when dealing with Stress.

JOHN GRAY VIDEO

Why are we so stressed out? Life is out of hand

Unrealistic Expectations

SUPERWOMAN

Unrealistic Expectations

2X the Burdens of Our Mothers

The Never-Ending To-Do List

Lack of Appropriate Male Support

Causes…

Causes Elevated Stress Hormones

What is Cortisol?

Weakens Immune System

Shuts-off Digestion

Our Greatest Challenge 1.Men and women cope with stress differently 2.Our differences are intensified by stress

Mars & Venus To Collide

Complaints from Venus I have to juggle so many things, and he doesn’t seem to care or even want to help. Complaints from Mars When I offer to help, she always finds something wrong in my suggestions. Why bother? Why Mars and Venus Collide We both go to work. When we get home, why doesn’t he pitch in and help more? She always finds something new to complain about.

Complaints from Venus He sits in front of the TV while I do everything. I am not his personal maid. Complaints from Mars She wants everything done right now. Why can’t she just relax? Why Mars and Venus Collide We never have time for romance anymore. He is either working, watching TV, gone, or sleeping. When I am in the mood, she is either too tired or overwhelmed with too many other things.

Physiological Differences Gender differences in the brain's serotonin system

Response differences In men, stress increased blood flow to the left orbitofrontal cortex suggested activation of the "fight or flight" response. In women, stress activated the limbic system, which is associated with emotional responses.

Single-Focus versus Multi-Task The part of the brain that produces cross- talk between the hemispheres is… 25% smaller in Men.

Single-Focus versus Multi-Task Man’s brain is highly specialized, using a specific part of a single-hemisphere to accomplish a task.

Men get annoyed when a woman interrupts them

Women get more stressed out when a man tries to narrow down her focus.

Our relationships can be a source of: stress or comfort

The Rub The Different Ways The Genders Cope With Stress Can Actually Increase Stress In The Opposite Sex.

Radically Different Coping Mechanisms to Stress Men…

Male Response or

Women… Radically Different Responses to Stress

What Helps Reduce Stress?

Testosterone Peaks in the morning Depleted throughout the day Needs time to recover

Stimulate Testosterone Success or the anticipation of success in the relationship Forgetting the problem even momentarily Engaging in less challenging activity Watching TV Reading Taking a nap Going into his cave

Leaving a man alone is sometimes the best way to support him.

Oxytocin – The love and nurturing hormone Reduces blood pressure, cortisol levels and fear Creates a feeling of attachment Increases maternal behavior and sexual interest

Oxytocin Decreases when feeling… Alone Ignored Unsupported Unimportant Rushed Overwhelmed

Oxytocin Testosterone generating activities at work reduce woman’s Oxytocin levels… Comes home without abundance of Oxytocin. Returning home after work causes most women’s stress to INCREASE.

Overwhelming

Oxytocin Increases with trust and anticipation of needs being met…including a simple hug, conversation and show of support. Increases when helping, caring, sharing or befriending without expectations. Increases when nurturing self

A woman’s greatest challenge caring for herself as much as she is caring for others.

One Solution…

Men Need To Feel Needed and Women Need To Feel They Are Not Alone.

Normal Stuff Manage your time Exercise regularly Get adequate sleep Eat a healthy diet Be assertive Live in the now

Filling-up the Oxytocin Tank Yourself (90%) Do something nice for yourself and others Plan special occasion Ask for help Schedule a walk & talk Grow/make something Create a “Have Done” list Reach out to friends Hire a coach By Him (10%) Hug her 4x a day Leave her a note Take her on a date Give her a flower Notice her Listen to her Compliment her Give her a spa day Help her without being asked

Mars Venus Reach out to people …talk Allow the to-do list to end… at least for the day Recognize the differences You NEED to connect, be heard He NEEDS to escape or feel needed