Rethinking Families, Rethinking Care Fiona Williams Director, ESRC Research Group on Care, Values and the Future of Welfare (CAVA) University of Leeds ISPA Conference, Dublin, September,

Family lives are changing mothers’ participation in the labour market has increased housing costs have grown there are more polarized economic inequalities children are financially dependent on their parents for longer a multi-cultural and global society makes for a diversity of family traditions as well as care commitments which are stretched across continents women are having fewer children, and having them later or not at all an ‘ageing’ society

Two interpretations of family change Loss of commitment and moral decline Greater individualization

The Policy Context 1. Promotion of paid work and the adult worker : tension – work/ care/life balance 2. Greater focus on parenting: tension – responsibilities or support? 3. Best interests of the child: tension – children as current or future citizens? 4. Acknowledgement of diversity : tension – who’s included?

CAVA’s Research The shape of commitments is changing but there is no loss of commitment itself General consensus that where children were involved their needs should be prioritized Changes have been uneven

Even though you separate or divorce, you still have a relationship […].looking after the children […] and it’s water under the bridge why you got divorced and the financial side, because you have to consider each other’s needs really.’ Smart and Neale, 2003

The changing shape and texture of commitment LATS - living apart together ‘ What makes it work? Probably the fact that we haven’t moved in together. Lucy was aware that I wouldn’t have been prepared to have her kids. I quite like the kids but…the family are fairly argumentative…I would have felt uncomfortable living with it and that was basically the fundamental reason.’ Smart and Neale, 2003

Sex, love and friendship ‘I think a friendship is for life, but I don’t think a partner is – I’d marry my friends. They’d last longer’. the 1960s - the uncoupling of sex from marriage the 1980s and 90s – separation of marriage and committed parenthood 2000s - committed sexual partnership and co-residence no longer important for some

Fairness? Whose fairness? ‘I think pretty much when they split up they decided that I should spend equal time at both houses or else it wouldn’t really be fair.’ (Wade and Smart, 2003).

Diversity in Work and Care You don’t have children to bugger off and leave them with someone else More of a purpose…I’m not just a mum or just a wife, I’m a nurse as well and I’m me. Great sense of self worth when I’m working…it’s like, I’m trying to be a really good role model for my children. ( Duncan and Edwards, 1999, Duncan, 2003)

The practical ethics of commitment: the compassionate realism of good enough care fairness, attentiveness to the needs of others, mutual respect, trust, reparation, being non-judgmental, adaptability to new identities, being prepared to be accommodating, and being open to communication.

Developing a Political Ethic of Care less anxiety that diverse living arrangements give rise to moral decline, social instability or lack of social cohesion. practical support for people to carry out their commitments, and to respect and recognize the diversity of commitments people have. Has to be the right sort of support: non-judgmental, fair, respectful and practical.

Four re-balancing acts Balance the ethic of work with the ethic of care. Balancing parental responsibilities with support and voice; Balancing investment in children with respect for childhood; Protecting diversity from inequality.

1. Balance the ethic of work with the ethic of care Interdependence Universal Care is part of citizenship

Balancing work and care Care of others: what do we need to meet our commitments to provide care and support properly for close kin and friends? Care of the self: what do we need in terms of time and space for the maintenance of body, mind and soul? Care of the World: what support do we need to be able to have a say, to contribute to, and participate in our communities? Work time and space: what do we need to enable us to gain economic self-sufficiency and to balance these other areas?

2. Balance parental responsibilities with support for parents Care, Support and Voice rather than rights and responsibilities

Balancing investment in children with respect for childhood Listening to children Treating children as creative and sentient citizens of the present, not just worker citizens of the future Providing opportunities for involvement in local communities Respect for children includes troubled and troublesome children

Protect Diversity from Inequality Universal breadwinner model Caregiver parity model Universal Caregiver Model A new social environment of care

Buy the CAVA book! ‘Rethinking Families’– special conference price €7.50 – excellent for research and teaching