Holiday-Related Stress and Self-Care Michelle Graas: The Practical Fibromite 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia – ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Important Disclaimer! Not everyone will benefit from everything we discuss tonight. All of us experience fibromyalgia in different ways, which means that none of us can manage it in the same ways. Moreover, we all have different temperaments and personalities: what works for one of us might not for another. Choose what best suits you and discard what doesn’t. 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Self-Care as a Gift to Yourself & Others Self-care: a responsibility, a necessity, a right If you can’t control your stress levels, you can’t effectively manage your fibromyalgia Treat yourself with the same loving kindness that you give your most treasured companion The calmer you can be over the holidays, the less stress you’ll experience and the stronger you’ll feel 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Pacing Yourself The pause that refreshes Identify what is most – and least – important Modify and delegate where appropriate Remember how your health and attitude affect those around you Follow the “SHH” method: do what makes you feel strong, healthy, and happy 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Planning Your Holiday Season Identify and answer key planning questions – who, what, where, when, why, and how What must you do yourself? Why? Build in plenty of opportunities for self-care Be positive! If you expect unhappiness and stress, then you’ll be more likely to experience unhappiness and stress 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Asking for Help Relinquishing control Who to ask for what How to ask Coping with rejection Express gratitude 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Organizing Holiday Meals Modify and delegate where appropriate Prepare in advance Share your knowledge 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Cleaning and Decorating Distinguish “needs” from “wishes” Modify and delegate where appropriate Extra holiday responsibilities typically mean more cleaning – set aside time and energy 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Hosting a Holiday Event Modify and delegate where appropriate Set the mood Establish boundaries 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Crowds and Self-Care Planning Pacing – breaks are critical Asking for help 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Seasonal Shopping Where and when to go Opportunities for savings – time, money, and energy SHH 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Holiday Travel Plan as early as possible – reconfirm as necessary Prepare for delays and other complications Consider working with a travel professional 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Being a Great Houseguest Take breaks from the household whenever necessary Contribute to the household in ways that are appropriate for you and your needs Positive attitude 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Hosting Holiday Houseguests Take breaks from the household whenever necessary Plan and delegate wherever appropriate Make any expectations you have of your guests as clear as possible 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Relationships and Holidays What strategies have succeeded in the past? How can you build on those? How can you avoid or manage difficult situations or behaviors – no matter who is responsible for them? Take a step back when facing negative people and attitudes Consider the many opportunities to develop new traditions everyone can enjoy 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Loss Loss of loved ones, either temporary or permanent Loss of health as holiday stress takes its toll Loss of identity 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

The Aftermath Treat yourself kindly in the days after major events. 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Reflection and Taking Stock Consider what worked and what didn’t Write down lessons learned and ideas for the future Go do something that will make you feel strong, healthy, and happy! 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite

Thank You for Participating! 11/14/11 Presented to the Portland Fibromyalgia - ME/CFS Group © The Practical Fibromite