Building Healthy Relationships

Intimate Relationships Intimate relationships are those with family members, friends, and romantic partners, characterized by Behavioral interdependence Emotional attachment Emotional availability Need fulfillment Through relationships, we fulfill our needs for Intimacy Social integration Nurturance Assistance Affirmation © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

How Intimate Is a Relationship? Relationships can exist on a continuum of closeness and inclusion. With such a range of possibilities, the intimacy level that two people experience cannot be judged easily by those outside the relationship. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Relating to Yourself Two concepts important to any good relationship Accountability: both partners are responsible for their own decisions, choices, and actions Self-nurturance: developing individual potential through a balanced and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability Self-esteem and self-acceptance are important factors that affect your ability to nurture yourself and to maintain healthy relationships with others, and include the way you define yourself (self-concept). Your perception and acceptance of yourself influences your relationship choices. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Family Relationships Family is a group of people with roles, tasks, boundaries, and personalities, whose central focus is to protect, care for, love, and socialize one another. Family of Origin The people present in our household our first years of life—usually parents and siblings From these people we initially learn about feelings, problem solving, love, intimacy, and gender roles. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

People in healthy friendships should Understand the roles and boundaries within the friendship. Communicate their understandings, needs, expectations, limitations, and affections. Have a sense of equity in which they share confidences, and contribute fairly and equally to maintaining the friendship. Consistently try to give as much as they get back from interactions. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Romantic Relationships Romantic relationships typically include all the characteristics of a friendship as well as Fascination Exclusiveness Sexual desire Giving the utmost Being the champion or advocate © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

How do you know when you are in LOVE with someone? What is LOVE? How do you know when you are in LOVE with someone? Sternberg proposes the following three key components to loving relationships. Intimacy- the emotional component, which involves closeness, sharing, and mutual support. Passion- The motivational component, which includes attraction, sexual arousal, and sharing. Commitment- the cognitive component, which includes the decision to be open to love in the short term and the commitment to the relationship in the long term. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

The DATING GAME © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Picking Partners What do we consider is most important when we are looking for or picking a potential partner? Which are absolute musts?

Picking Partners Proximity—being in the same place at the same time Similarities—"opposites attract" usually isn't true Physical Attraction Men tend to be attracted primarily to youth and beauty. Women tend to be attracted to older mates who are financially stable. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Types of Committed Relationships Marriage Monogamy—exclusive sexual involvement with one partner Serial monogamy—a monogamous sexual relationship with one partner before moving on to the next monogamous relationship Open relationships—partners agree that there may be sexual involvement for each person outside of the marriage Cohabitation A relationship in which two unmarried people live with an intimate connection together in the same household. Gay and Lesbian Partnerships/Marriages Staying Single Of women aged 20 to 34, 54.4% have never been married according to data from 2009. Of men aged 20 to 34, 64.4% remain unmarried, according to data from 2009. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

When do Relationships Falter? © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

When Relationships Falter Broken relationships usually begin with a change in communication. If a partner changes the amount of time spent together without seeking the understanding of the other, it might be a sign of hidden problems. In troubled relationships, honest and verbal affection can be used to cover up irresponsible or hurtful behavior. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships Learning Appropriate Self-Disclosure Get to know yourself. Become more accepting of yourself. Be willing to discuss your sexual history. Choose a safe context for self disclosure. Becoming a Better Listener We listen best when We believe that the message is somehow important and relevant to us. The speaker holds our attention through humor, dramatic effect, use of media, or other techniques. We are in the mood to listen (free of distractions and worries). © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Communicating: A Key to Good Relationships Using Nonverbal Communication Touch Gestures Interpersonal space Facial expression Body language Tone of voice © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Managing Conflict Through Communication Identify the problem or issues. Generate several possible solutions. Evaluate the alternative solutions. Decide on the best solution. Implement the solution. Follow up. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Confronting Couples Issues Jealousy in Relationships An aversive reaction evoked by a real or imagined relationship involving one's partner and a third person Changing Gender Roles Our modern society has very few gender-specific roles. Sharing Power Power dynamics between women and men have shifted. Compared to their husbands, 22% of women have higher incomes and 81% have a higher or equal education level. Unmet Expectations Partners in healthy relationships can communicate wants and needs and have healthy discussions when thing aren't going as planned. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

When and Why Relationships End Why do relationships end? Reasons include Illness Financial concerns Career problems Unmet expectations Communication breakdown Differences in sexual needs © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.

Coping with Failed Relationships Consider these tips for coping with a failed relationship: Recognize and acknowledge your feelings. Find healthful ways to express your emotions. Spend time with friends, both old and new. Don't rush into a "rebound" relationship. © 2013 Pearson Education, Inc.