Penny Peck and Sarah Flowers for PLP April 2015

Tween/Teen brain changes Distracting vs. dangerous behavior Positive interactions with teens Tips for talking with parents Of younger children Of older children Of teens

Child Development by Age Group

Early Childhood – Ages 3-8

Later Childhood – Ages 9-12

Young Adolescents – Middle School

Children and Their Needs Under Age 6: Trying to Achieve Autonomy Ages 6-9: Developing Initiative Ages 9-12: Becoming Industrious Young Teens: Establishing Identity

Children and Choices

Age of Reason Age at which a child can distinguish right from wrong, reality from fantasy, and make good judgments and control their behavior. Primary grades (TK through 3 rd grade) are treated as “little kids;” you can use that as a standard (ages o-8).

When Can a Child Be Left Alone? Guidelines for Unaccompanied Children Above the Age of Reason For the Safety of the Child Procedures for underage children left at the library Procedures for children not picked up by closing time Printed rules seem less arbitrary

Behavior Problems Written Rules of Conduct Everything Doesn’t Need to be a Rule Treat Everyone the Same (but allow children a little more noise in the children’s section) Set reasonable limits Concept of Fairness

Safety and Liability Use the rules and procedures Work in pairs when having to discipline a child or teen (unless it is something minor) Don’t blame child for a parent’s mistake – talk to the parent Document discipline, notify parent, notify supervisor

Children With Special Needs Be inclusive Allow more noise for an autistic child, and other accommodations when possible Outreach to children with special needs

Reference Interview and the Child Is this for you or a brother or sister? What grade are you in? For homework? Do you have the assignment in writing? Follow up: Did you find something for that assignment?

Body Language A customer service skill Eye Contact, Smile Hang up the phone, look away from the computer Appear patient and unhurried No crossed arms or hands on hips

Exercise – take 5 minutes in pairs: Take turns playing the role of a 4 th or 5 th grader (ages 9 or 10), asking the library staff member for help with a homework request. What questions does the staff member ask to find out what the student needs? Body language – how can a staff member seem more approachable? What library “barriers” make it more difficult to help this child (such as height of the desk, can you walk away to help find the book that is needed)? Debrief from exercise – any new techniques?

Break

Chelsea Clinton in 1992 at age 12 Chelsea Clinton in 1998 at age 18

Age 17-18

With abstract thinking comes the ability to:  Generate big ideas  Consider multiple points of view  Develop and plan goals, strategy  Understand nuances Abstract vs Concrete

Teens are 20% less accurate than adults in gauging emotions CC photo by Kelsey_lovefusionphoto

CC photo by Roland

Conflictremedy.com  Preserve dignity in front of peers.  Challenging teens backs them into a corner  Two basic choices:  Stay, but change behavior  Don’t change behavior, and leave

Novelty-seeking Social engagement Increased emotional intensity Creative exploration

Parents

Talking to Parents General good customer service rules How you would want to be approached and spoken to if it were you Meet with the parent in private and with two staff members (one does most of the talking, the other is a witness) Offer written rules so you don’t come across as arbitrary

Finding Books on Sensitive Issues

The Difficult Conversations Talking to parent about a misbehaving child Talking to parents about something they are doing: A child left at the library who is too young A child left to supervise very young siblings A child left at closing time Dealing with a parent who wants to “ban” a book

Questions? Penny Peck – Sarah Flowers – Handout with websites and other resources. Thanks for participating!