Building High Self-Esteem Chapter Four Building High Self-Esteem

Chapter Preview: Building High Self-Esteem Define and discuss how it is developed Influences on human relations and success at work Characteristics of people with low and high self-esteem Role of mentors in professional life Ways individuals and organizations can raise self-esteem Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Two Major Components Self-efficacy Self-respect Belief you can achieve what you set out to do Developed though experience of mastery success builds confidence to succeed in other areas Self-respect What you think and feel about yourself Self-respect likely earns respect from others Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect One’s appreciation of own worth and importance Experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and being worthy of happiness Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect Character to be accountable for behaviors Acting responsibly toward others Confidence in ability to think understand make decisions Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How Self-Esteem Develops Self-concept bundle of facts, opinions, beliefs, and perceptions about yourself that are present in every moment of every day much is unconscious, yet continues to influence judgments, feelings, and behaviors Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Childhood Experience early in life have a significant impact on one’s life and potential in later years Foundation of self-esteem in childhood emerges later in life Emotional stability impacts self-esteem Defining negative experiences occur Abusive or uncaring parent Serious childhood accident Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Total Person Insight Feeling good about who you are and what you’ve here on earth to do—that is the real work of your life. And it’s ongoing. Each of us arrives with all we need to feel valued and unique, but slowly that gets chipped away. Oprah Winfrey Founder and Editorial Director, O, The Oprah Magazine Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Adolescence Develop and consolidate feelings about yourself Age 12 to 18 Changes and challenges physical image peer and social pressure begin to assume adult responsibilities Role models are important Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Adulthood Reinforced self-concept molded by past Adults tend to define themselves in terms of: Things they possession What they do for a living Internal value system and emotional makeup Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Total Person Insight How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and punish ourselves….Every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. Don Miguel Ruiz Author, The Four Agreements Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How Self-Esteem Influences Your Behavior Powerful influence on behavior at work in personal life Healthy self-esteem is less vulnerable to negative views of others more tolerant and respectful of others Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Locus of Control Internal locus of control External locus of control Belief that one is largely responsible for what happens External locus of control Belief that life is almost totally controlled by outside forces Success is luck Often rely on approval from others Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Characteristics - Low Self-Esteem Tendency toward External locus of control Self-destructive behaviors Poor human relations skills Failure syndrome Trouble with relationships Being less productive Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Characteristics - High Self-Esteem Future oriented Better able to cope with life’s challenges Feel emotions without letting them affect behavior in a negative way Less likely to take things personally Accept people as unique, talented individuals Exhibit self-confident behaviors Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Building Self-Esteem Possible but difficult to change Difficult to determine source of personal doubt Difficult finding words to describe negative feelings Begins with desire to overcome low self-esteem Slow evolution Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Identify the source of low self-esteem: Careful examination of defining moments in life Make list of labels others use to describe you Determine which ones you’ve internalized Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Identify and accept your limitations: Accept yourself for who you are now Don’t demand perfection Don’t dwell on the past Learn to dislike behaviors rather than self-condemnation Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Take responsibility for your decisions: Making decisions helps you develop confidence in your own judgment Be willing to set goals Accept the consequences of your decisions Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Total Person Insight There is little understanding in our culture that being an adult is an ongoing process of learning and self-correcting: Life is always changing, revealing what was previously unknown and unplanned for. Fran Cox and Louis Cox Authors, A Conscious Life Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Develop expertise in some area: Developing “expert power” builds self-esteem Use what you know to benefit yourself and your company Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Seek the support and guidance of mentors: A mentor helps you learn something that you would otherwise not have learned as well or as quickly Effective tool used in organizations Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Tips for building a mentor relationship: Having multiple mentors is best A mentor should have the qualities of a good coach Market yourself to prospective mentors Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Set goals: People who set goals maintain high self-esteem Make your goals realistic. Picture yourself reaching the goal Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Visualize achievement of your goals: To visualize means to form a mental image of something If you want to succeed, picture yourself succeeding over and over Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Goal Setting Principles Spend time reflecting on things you want to change in your life Develop a goal-setting plan that includes steps to achieve the goal Modify your environment by changing stimuli around you Monitor your behavior and reward progress Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Use positive self-talk: Self-talk takes place silently in the privacy of your mind It is the personal conversations you have with yourself Your self-talk can dramatically affect your behavior Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

How to Build Self-Esteem Create self-talk statements for each of your goals: Be specific about the behavior you want to change Begin each statement with a first-person pronoun Describe the results you want to achieve Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Figure 4.1 Figure 4.1 Self-Esteem Cycles Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Organizations Can Help Low self-esteem often means poor performance Organizations realizing importance of their role in developing self-esteem Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Factors That Enhance The Self-Esteem of Employees Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Organizations Can… Value and accommodate each unique individual Recognize accomplishments Use well-designed training programs Clarify expectations and provide feedback Keep employees well informed Encourage the use of employees’ ideas Emphasize teamwork Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Summary Self-esteem is a combination of self-respect and self-efficacy Feeling competent and worthy Self-esteem is the foundation for a successful personal life Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Summary Self-esteem is acquired and built from birth influenced by parents, friends, associates, and the media Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Summary People with high self-esteem tend to be future oriented cope with problems creatively, handle their emotions, and give as well as receive help accept others as unique talented individuals exhibit self-confident behaviors Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Summary To build high self-esteem individuals must accept the past build for the future accept their limitations develop expertise in some area make decisions and live with the consequences Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Summary Set goals by visualizing the person they want to be monitoring self-talk Organizations now realize the need for help in building self-esteem in their employees Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Summary Organizations can offer training sessions give better feedback and statements of expectations offer greater respect for the individual in the workplace foster teamwork Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.