Life Stressors: Helping Families Cope March 18, 2010 Christina Carson-Sacco, Psy.D.

Stress American Psychological Association – November, 2009 Report “Stress In America” – Survey says Americans’ stress levels are too high

Parents are not accurate in their perceptions of children’s stress levels – Teens/tweens more likely to say stress had increased in past year – Parents were out of sync with regard to the sources of worry for their children – Children were more likely to report having physical symptoms of stress than their parents felt they did

Adults and Stress: 75% of adults reported moderate to high levels of stress in the past month 43% say they eat too much or unhealthy foods as a result of stress Though 44% use exercise to relieve stress, many report using sedentary activities Significant numbers of adults reported experiencing symptoms related to stress in the past month 70% received recommendations for lifestyle/behavior changes

The Effects of Stress – Some stress is good – What chronic high levels of stress does to your body Physical wear and tear Reduced immune system function Can impair the brain’s ability to block toxins

Warning Signs What to look for as ‘red flags’ with regard to your child’s/your own stress level: – Irritability, moodiness, withdrawal – Sleeping too much/too little – Eating too much/too little – Physical complaints – Getting into trouble – Can’t have fun – Substance use

Stress and the Family We are all connected Loss of connection is damaging Parents as role models

GAF Global Assessment of Functioning from American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM) – From 1 to 100 – Common things can cause stress and reduce your numbers on GAF (ranked by Holmes and Rahe) – The key is that anything that happens can be perceived as stressful

Coping Skills Talk to your child about stress – Notice – Give them your full attention – Don’t try to fix it or intrude – Repeat back what you heard – Watch your own parental anxiety – Provide age-appropriate – Realize they may use other words than ‘stress,’ such as ‘annoyed,’ ‘confused,’ or ‘angry’ – Don’t discount their stress

More Coping Skills Prevention – Insulate your child to stress – Start with the basics – Help your child problem solve – Teach them to express themselves – Teach them relaxation skills – Give them outlets – If you can, reduce some – Stay connected – Teach them how to ask for help

Your Own Coping Skills Be a role model Monitor your moods Make time for yourself Prioritize Set reasonable standards for yourself Catch yourself if you have negative automatic thought patterns Build and maintain your support network

Some Specifics The Holidays Divorce Taking care of our children, parents, selves Challenges of Special Needs Child – Diagnosis – Assessment and School Being a sibling to a special needs child

The Holidays Feeling overwhelmed is normal Pressure to make things perfect Put things into perspective – Take time for yourself – Volunteer – Have realistic expectations – Focus on ‘family’ that is supportive and positive – Start a new tradition

Job Loss/Financial Troubles Job loss can lead to various symptoms Resilience Structure Connect Accept Long-term view Purpose

Divorce Put your children first Talk with children Respect the other parent Try to maintain routines Don’t fight in front of them/use them as a messenger Take care of yourself Watch for warning signs Seek help when needed

Caregiver Stress Emotional and Physical Strain Try to find positives Watch for warning signs Grieve Care for self first Ask for and accept help

Parenting a Special Needs Child Take time after learning about diagnosis Seek connection/support One day at a time Educate yourself You don’t have to be a rock Find positives Care for yourself first Care for your relationships Plan how to deal with other’s reactions Try to keep routines Keep a sense of humor

Siblings of Special Needs Children Experience can be positive Fierce supporters Some feelings are less positive Talk and educate Foster connections with other sibs Find one on one time Things don’t have to be ‘fair’ Try not to lean on them; watch for being ‘too good’ Help them prepare for other’s reactions Use school and other supports

Let’s Try Something Deep breathing Progressive Muscle Relaxation Imagery Keep up with your ‘bag of tricks’