Building High Self-Esteem Chapter Four Building High Self-Esteem

Chapter Preview: Building High Self-Esteem Define and describe impact on your life Discuss how self-esteem is developed Identify characteristics of people with low and high self-esteem Identify ways to raise your self-esteem Ways organizations can help raise self-esteem

Total Person Insight Our level of self-esteem affects virtually everything we think, say, and do. It affects how we see the world and our place in it. It affects how others in the world see and treat us. It affects the choices we make—choices about what we will do with our lives and with whom we will be involved. It affects our ability to both give and receive love. And, it affects our ability to take action to change things that need to be changed. Tschirhart Sanford and Mary Ellen Donovan Authors, Women & Self-Esteem

Two Major Components Self-efficacy-belief you can achieve what you set out to do Developed though experience of mastery success builds confidence to succeed in other areas Self-respect What you think and feel about yourself Self-respect likely earns respect from others

Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect One’s appreciation of own worth and importance Experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and being worthy of happiness

Self-Esteem = Self-Efficacy + Self-Respect Character to be accountable for behaviors Acting responsibly toward others Confidence in ability to think understand make decisions

How Self-Esteem Develops Self-concept bundle of facts, opinions, beliefs, and perceptions about yourself that are present in every moment of every day much is unconscious, yet continues to influence judgments, feelings, and behaviors

Childhood Experience early in life have a significant impact on one’s life and potential in later years Foundation of self-esteem in childhood emerges later in life Emotional stability impacts self-esteem Defining negative experiences occur i.e. uncaring parent, too much television

Adolescence Develop personal identity as a unique individual Age 11 to late adolescence Resolve questions about self-worth sexuality independence Role models are important

Adulthood Reinforced self-concept molded by past Adults tend to define themselves in terms of: Things they possession What they do for a living Internal value system and emotional makeup

Total Person Insight How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and punish ourselves….Every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. Don Miguel Ruiz Author, The Four Agreements

How Self-Esteem Influences Your Behavior Powerful influence on behavior at work in personal life Healthy self-esteem is less vulnerable to negative views of others more tolerant and respectful of others

Locus of Control External locus of control Belief that life is almost totally controlled by outside forces Success is luck Often rely on approval from others

Characteristics - Low Self-Esteem Tendency toward External locus of control Self-destructive behaviors Poor human relations skills

Characteristics - High Self-Esteem Tendency toward internal locus of control Belief that one is largely responsible for what happens Feel emotions without letting them affect behavior in a negative way Less likely to take things personally Accept people as unique, talented individuals Have productive personality

Building Self-Esteem Self-esteem can grow or deteriorate throughout life The person you will be tomorrow has yet to be created Slow evolution

How to Build Self-Esteem Identify the source of low self-esteem: Careful examination of defining moments in life Make list of labels others use to describe you Determine which ones you’ve internalized

How to Build Self-Esteem Identify and accept your limitations: Accept yourself for who you are now Don’t demand perfection Don’t dwell on the past

How to Build Self-Esteem Take responsibility for your decisions: Making decisions helps you develop confidence in your own judgment Be willing to set goals Accept the consequences of your decisions

Total Person Insight There is little understanding in our culture that being an adult is an ongoing process of learning and self-correcting: Life is always changing, revealing what was previously unknown and unplanned for. Fran Cox and Louis Cox Authors, A Conscious Life

How to Build Self-Esteem Engage in strength building Maximize your strengths Discover your talents A talent is any naturally recurring pattern of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied Strength building requires knowledge and skill

How to Build Self-Esteem Seek the support and guidance of mentors: A mentor helps you learn something that you would otherwise not have learned as well or as quickly Effective tool used in organizations

How to Build Self-Esteem Tips for building a mentor relationship: Having multiple mentors is best A mentor should have the qualities of a good coach Market yourself to prospective mentors

How to Build Self-Esteem Set goals: People who set goals maintain high self-esteem Make your goals realistic Picture yourself reaching the goal

How to Build Self-Esteem Practice guided imagery Creative and empowering method to harness the power of the mind To visualize means to form a mental image of something If you want to succeed, picture yourself succeeding over and over

Goal Setting Principles Spend time reflecting on things you want to change in your life Develop a goal-setting plan that includes steps to achieve the goal Modify your environment by changing stimuli around you Monitor your behavior and reward progress

Figure 4.1 - Self-Esteem Cycles

Using Positive Self-Talk Use positive self-talk: Self-talk takes place silently in the privacy of your mind It is the personal conversations you have with yourself Your self-talk can dramatically affect your behavior

Creating Self-Talk Statements Create self-talk statements for each of your goals: Be specific about the behavior you want to change Begin each statement with a first-person pronoun Describe the results you want to achieve

Table 4.2 - Creating Semantically Correct Self-Talk

Organizations Can Help Low self-esteem often means poor performance Organizations realizing importance of their role in developing self-esteem

Figure 4.2 - Factors That Enhance The Self-Esteem of Employees

Organizations Can… Help workers feel Valued Competent Secure Empowered Connected

Chapter Review Define self-esteem and describe its impact on your life Self-esteem is a combination of self-respect and self-efficacy People with high self-esteem feel competent and worthy People with low self-esteem feel incompetent, unworthy, and insecure High self-esteem is a powerful foundation for success

Chapter Review Discuss how self-esteem is developed Starts from birth Parents, friends, associates, the media, and colleagues all influence self-esteem Adolescents depend on social relationships to define their value Adults use their possessions, jobs, and/or internal values

Chapter Review Characteristics of low and high self-esteem People with high self-esteem tend to: Maintain internal locus of control Manage their emotions Rarely take things personally Accept other people as unique and talented Have productive lives

Chapter Review Characteristics of low and high self-esteem People with low self-esteem tend to: Maintain external locus of control Participate in self-destructive behaviors Exhibit poor human relations skills Rely on the opinions of others for self-worth

Chapter Review Identify ways to raise your self-esteem Take responsibility for decisions Engage in strength building Accept imitations Identify talents Work with a mentor Set goals Practice guided imagery Use positive self-talk

Chapter Review Organizations can help workers raise their self-esteem Workers need to feel: Valuable Competent Secure Empowered Connected