Format 1 double spaced? pt font? 3 paragraphs indented? 4. Title? (think of one that works for essay) 5. Name and hour

First line Does it hook reader? Is it a personal statement? How to make it stronger? Connect to theme of song – I never thought I would recover from a broken heart – As a senior in high school, I’m ready to start a new chapter – I didn’t understand the power of forgiveness until I was forgiven. – I doubt that I’m the only kid who ever felt truly alone.

Write a new line above the old one Why? Just see what happens. Might be a better way into the material

Leading us through the intro Now… how do you transition to the song? – The song “I Wish I had a River” by Joni Mitchell also speaks about the sense of alienation the speaker has while everyone around her seems happy. – Is song in italics or quotation marks? – Have you given the name of the songwriter?

What else to add? Include or invite the reader in to your song: Everyone has felt alone, isolated in a crowd of busy people. Can you relate it to Ishmael or a theme from LWG? Although the water never freezes in Sierra Leone, there were times during the war when Ishmael probably wished he could “skate upon a river so long,/ [he] could teach [his] feet to fly.”

Last line in intro The song, “I Wish I had a River” addresses the themes of alienation and loneliness that were(are) present in my life and also the book A Long Way Gone.

Second paragraph Read the paragraph and look for places where you can elaborate. – Why is this song important? – How did it help you? Is there a specific line that spoke to you? – How did it Inspire you? – How did it help you heal? – Do you remember the first time you heard it? Where were you? Did a friend share the song with you? How often would you listen to it? How did it make you feel?

2nd paragraph Do you have any background on the singer? Try research tomorrow and see what you can discover about the origins of the song.

3rd paragraph analysis Topic sentence to introduce theme of song? Do you have at least two lines that your reference? Check to see if you incorporated them correctly – The line, “ ______” relates to the theme of____ – Or The line, “ ______” reminds me of ____.

3rd para. continued Look at the lyrics again. Is there an image that expresses the way you feel when you hear the song? Are there any metaphors, similes or other aspects that work symbolically? What else can you say about the image? How does it support theme?

Connecting to book or Ishmael Have you connected to a theme? If not: to a similar situation or emotional event? – Revenge, love, loss, growth, understanding that the world is no longer safe, – Describe the situation in the novel, give quote if possible

5th paragraph Have you summarized the main points? – Why you chose it? – dominant theme? – What you want us to learn from your choice Or how we can benefit from it?

Writing Circle any gots and replace with stronger verbs. Read again and look for: any “is when” ‘is how” or “the reason I chose this is because” cut and revise into active voice – Find a stronger way to say it. – Look for variety in sentences. Follow a long sentence with a short one.