You Don’t Have To Be Normal To be happy!!!!

BY…… Jerry Newport and Mary Newport

Schedule of Presentation Note: we will refer to the handout as it fits, not necessarily in the same order. We will also show visual examples in additon to the handout. 1. Our youth 2. After school – young adulthood 3. Later Life. 4. Summary and audience questions.

What is a happy person? A happy person has a quiet confidence that he/she can handle whatever life throws at him and knows who to ask for help when it is more than one person can handle.

How does any child (including our peers) become a happy adult? 1. By learning in the way we learn best. 2. By making mistakes and learning from them. 3. By learning scripts/drills to get through difficult situations.

Making Choices…. Is not encouraged enough for people with autism. Too often, we take the “easy way out” and make choices for them. Autistic people at all ages must learn to make choices and understand they are responsible for those choices and the consequences.

Pets Pets have been important to both of us. They provide unconditional love to us still and did that when we needed it the most. Between us, we have had as Pets: Horses, chickens, rabbits, iguanas, doves, Parakeets, cockatiels, Cockatoos, hamsters, cats, dogs, goldfish

Appropriate Pets for our peers… Are durable. Don’t make you sick. Can be given and give back affection.

The best place to find friends Is where you can share an interest…. Clubs, scouting, chorus, band, teams, Sunday school, volunteer activity, theater arts

Why stay in High School longer? Use time to “catch up socially” is the usual reason given. If so, you need a definite plan, like “will attend senior prom” in the IEP!! Social growth won’t “just happen.” Other popular reason: vocational education. If so, aim it at a job your child can find in your community.

College…. Is not for all of us… Should start close to home and include part-time work. May not be as practical as an apprentice program in a trade or other specific training program aimed at a specific job.

What about work? 1. Start with having chores at home. 2. Look for work your child can do. 3. Explore other factors too, especially any potential human relations factors that could be your child’s employment waterloo.

Finally…. Once 1-3 are done, try to make connections with the person who hires, yourself, or if you aren’t comfortable, at least pass on what you have learned about your child’s employment potential via steps 1-3 to his vocational advocate, job coach etc…..

Where to live? Live at home and inherit it eventually? Own apartment? Group home? Shared apartment? College dormitory? Shared home?

Where are adult social options? Circles of support Support groups Clubs Public activities of interest; free lectures, poetry readings, art gallery exhibits The Internet Classmates and dormitory neighbors. Workplace is over-rated for social potential

Getting Around…. DRIVING does expand options BUT it is not possible for many of us… Why? Getting distracted too often Lack of emotional control Narrow visual focus

Other Options…. Public Transportation Rides from family, friends, classmates, co-workers Walking, bicycle, mo-ped

Big Moves and changes… 1. Should happen while parents are still alive. It is much easier if, for example, moves to another living place are done that way.

Conclusion…. Accept the truth: Your child will outlive you. Help him to make the most of his strengths and identify people who can help him where he will need it.

Resources….. 1. read our books!!! “Your Life is Not a Label” and “Autism, Asperger’s and Sexuality” “Developing Talents” Temple Grandin “Ask and Tell” Stephen Shore etc… “Asperger Syndrome Employment Workbook” Roger Meyer “Autism for Dummies” Stephen Shore

More Resources!!! Tony Attwood’s new guide to “Asperger Syndrome” Personal accounts: “Emergence, Labeled Autistic” and “ Thinking in Pictures” Temple Grandin “Beyond The Wall” Stephen Shore “Pretending to Be Normal” Liane Holliday- Willey, “Songs of The Gorilla Nation” Dawn Prince Hughes

One More Great Resource!! Good Movie: “Mozart and The Whale” and Great Book: “Mozart and The Whale: An Asperger’s Love Story” by Jerry and Mary Newport

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