Hmong women in the United States: Continuity and change Part 1 September 18, 2000

First papers due next Monday, September 25th w The first paper is due in lecture w Hand papers in at the end of lecture (TAs will collect them) w Do NOT hand them in during your section w Please review the exact specifications for papers in the syllabus (word length, etc.) BEFORE handing in your paper

Cultural change w Cultural change: all or nothing? w the example of the Lees in Fadiman’s book: a mixture w The rule and not the exception: selective, not across-the board, embrace of new cultural practices

Today and Wednesday w You will learn, through Mai’s story, about the marital traditions of elder Hmong, and about how a young Hmong woman is mixing “old” and “new” with regard to the importance of finding a Hmong husband how much power a woman has to marry someone not to the liking of her parents the rights of women in marriage

Introducing Mai w 19 years old sophomore at Oswego State University, pursuing visual design w Mai’s family Traditional parents; 2 brothers; grandmother Father a guerilla fighter for CIA Came to US in 1980 w What is important to Mai Hmong identity: language and ritual College education Defining a new role for herself as a Hmong woman

Mai’s secret w The guy from Oswego… w First time she had gone on individual dates In high school: group outings w Nervous about telling her mother Knew she wouldn’t approve Finally told her after holiday break w Her mom was upset Did she want her kids to become non-Hmong? Where would she go? Who would pay her bridewealth? What family would support and protect her? Did she want to “belong” to a family they had no ties to? Did she want to lose her own Hmong-ness?

What Mai’s mom had against the relationship, 1 w Guy was non-Hmong: children would be non- Hmong w Hmong belief in patrilineality Men, not women, are carriers of clan’s spiritual substance/force The ritual of boy’s placenta Woman as vessel and cultivator, not creator of family (myth of Beginning of World) w Effect on courtship in Hmong community w How Mai feels about this: “My mom is right”

Why Mai’s mom was against the relationship, 2 w What family would support her? Bridewealth? w The practice of virilocality woman moves to where husband is intensifying link to previously-known clan (honor and reputation) ideal of levirate bridewealth w How Mai felt about this anxiety about mother-in-law anxiety about being outsider (the Lys example) anxiety about contingent natal family support anxiety about levirate

Why Mai’s mom was against the relationship, 3 w Fearful they would abandon gender hierarchy of Hmong home w Male authority in home men regarded as final arbiters of the good of the family men’s right to boss at home expectation that woman will beobedient no direct challenges all household chores belong to women when guests in house, waiting till men finish eating before sitting down retiring earlier than men

Moderation of excesses in the US w Older women say “things aren’t as bad” as they were in Laos w Laws on domestic violence less domestic abuse w Some new sources of income sewing, domestic labor, welfare no more “following behind” w Some effect of media, social workers, daughters w More husbands swearing off alcohol w Still, the main pattern endures

How Mai felt about women’s subservience w Resentment of brothers’ privileges w Resignation to the situation because it is “tradition” w Rejection of idea that women should stay home and not work

What will happen? w Will Mai threaten suicide? Elope? Simply refuse to get married? w What will her mother do? Will she insist that Mai marry a man of her and her husband’s choosing? Will she accept her daughter’s new orientation? w Tune in on Wednesday...