Exercise 9. No.1  (Worse) Cell formation is the first and most difficult step in CMS design in that it identifies parts with similar processing requirements.

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Presentation transcript:

Exercise 9

No.1  (Worse) Cell formation is the first and most difficult step in CMS design in that it identifies parts with similar processing requirements and the set of machines capable of processing the corresponding family of parts.  (Better 1) Cell formation, the first and most difficult step in CMS design, identifies parts with similar processing requirements and the set of machines capable of processing the corresponding family of parts.

No.1 (cont.)  (Better 2) As the first and most difficult step in CMS design, cell formation identifies parts with similar processing requirements and the set of machines capable of processing the corresponding family of parts.

No.2  (Worse) Taguchi’s two-step procedure is in many cases inefficient if certain conditions are not satisfied, which may prevent this procedure from attaining the minimum quality loss despite a maximized SN ratio.  (Better) Taguchi’s two-step procedure is often inefficient if certain conditions are not satisfied, possibly preventing it from attaining the minimum quality loss despite a maximized SN ratio.

[Note 3.6]  To avoid repeating procedure twice in the same sentence, the revision replaces the second procedure it because it has a clear referent.

[Note 3.7]  Avoid wordiness by saying always instead of in many case.

No.3  (Worse) Factors A, C, E, F and H significantly affect SN. This means that a larger SN ratio has a better quality.  (Better) Factors A, C, E, F and H significantly affect SN. This finding (observation, occurrence, phenomenon, event) means that a larger SN ratio has a better quality.

[Note 3.8]  Depending on the sentence’s context, implies or suggests can be used as an alternatives to means when the Chinese meaning is 意指.

No.4  (Worse) It is widely recognized that a constant speed can be obtained if the spindle speed does not vary.  (Better) As widely recognized, a constant speed can be obtained if the spindle speed does not vary.

No.5  (Worse) Their consumption rate item in most cases stipulates that its demand rate depends on the stock level when it is increasing.  (Better) Their consumption rate item in most cases stipulates that its demand rate depends on an increasing stock level.

[Note 3.9]  In the sentence, what is increasing is unclear: demand rate or stock level. Although the author’s intended meaning is the latter.

[Note 3.10]  Avoid wordiness by saying usually instead of in most case. Depending on the sentence’s context, generally, normally or typically can be used as alternatives to usually when the Chinese meaning is 通常.

No.6  (Worse) As the machine operator, you must assume that a hazardous situation could occur on the shop floor at any time.  (Better) The machine operator must assume that a hazardous situation could occur on the shop floor at any time.

No.7  (Worse) Developing a more feasible approach to resolve the MCG problem is extremely difficult when it contains many unknown variables.  (Better) Developing a more feasible approach to resolve the MCG problem that contains many unknown variables is extremely difficult.

[Note 3.11]  Depending on the sentence’s context, extremely, rather, quite or highly can be used as alternatives to very when the Chinese meaning is 非常.

No.8  (Worse) The regression coefficient is statically significant, which implies that a significant relationship exists in the following form.  (Better 1) Statically significance of the regression coefficient implies that a significant relationship exists in the following form.

No.8  (Better 2) The regression coefficient is statically significant, implying that a significant relationship exists in the following form.  (Better 3) The fact that the regression coefficient is statically significant implies that a significant relationship exists in the following form.

No.9  (Worse) Only the first-order interaction effect is considered. This is since the second-order or higher-order interaction effect can generally be ignored in industry.  (Better) Only the first-order interaction effect is considered since the second-order or higher- order interaction effect can generally be ignored in industry.

No.10  (Worse) You know that the Internet has significantly affected commercial activity worldwide.  (Better) The Internet has significantly affected commercial activity worldwide.

No.11  (Worse) It is the responsibility of the department chairman to handle all administrative maters.  (Better) The department chairman is responsible for handling all administrative maters.

No.12  (Worse) On the shop floor, it is a standard safety precaution for workers to wear a safety helmet.  (Better) Wearing a safety helmet on the shop floor is a standard safety precaution for workers.