Emotional Intelligence Bob Cole American Student Assistance

Background  E.L. Thorndike – Behavior explained by reflexes  1970s Human Potential Movement  1985 Reuven Bar-On Defines EQ –“Are there factors that determine one’s ability to be effective in life?”  1995 Time Magazine – Daniel Goleman

What is Emotional Intelligence?  Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to understand their own emotions, the emotions of others, and to act appropriately using these emotions.  Emotional intelligence never stops growing. Because we are always evolving as people, EQ is something that must be nurtured.

How IQ Differs  IQ –Measure of an individual’s personal information bank –Memory, vocabulary and visual motor skills –IQ is set and peaks at age 17 –Remains constant through adulthood

EI Model Intrapersonal Knowing and managing yourself Interpersonal People skills – the ability to interact and get along with others Stress Management Ability to tolerate stress and control impulses Adaptability Ability to be flexible and realistic, to solve a range of problems as they arise

Intrapersonal  Self-Awareness – the ability to recognize how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way and the impact your behavior has on others  Assertiveness – the ability to clearly express your thoughts and feelings, stand your ground and defend a position  Independence – the ability to be self-directed and self- controlled, to stand on your own two feet

Intrapersonal, cont.  Self-Regard – the ability to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and to feel good about yourself despite your weaknesses  Self-Actualization – the ability to realize your potential and feel comfortable with what you achieve at work and in your personal life

Interpersonal  Empathy – the ability to understand what others might be feeling or thinking, viewing the world through another person’s eyes  Social Responsibility – the ability to be a cooperative and contributing of your social group  Interpersonal Relationships – the ability to forge and maintain relationships that are mutually beneficial and marked by give and take and a sense of emotional closeness

Adaptability  Reality Testing – the ability to see things as they actually are, rather than the way you wish or fear they might be  Flexibility – the ability to adjust your feelings, thoughts, and actions to changing conditions  Problem Solving – the ability to define problems, then move to generate and implement effective, appropriate solutions

Stress Management  Stress Tolerance – the ability to remain calm and focused, to constructively withstand adverse events and conflicting emotions without caving in  Impulse Control – the ability to resist or delay a temptation to act –Tale of the Marshmallow

EI Model Intrapersonal Knowing and managing yourself Interpersonal People skills – the ability to interact and get along with others Stress Management Ability to tolerate stress and control impulses Adaptability Ability to be flexible and realistic, to solve a range of problems as they arise General Mood

 Optimism – the ability to maintain a realistically positive attitude, particularly in the face of adversity  Happiness – the ability to feel satisfied with life, to enjoy yourself and others, and to experience zest and enthusiasm in a range of activities

ABCDE – Resolving Emotional Conflicts ABCDE 2. Write down the trigger 3. Internal dialogue or self-talk 1. Unpleasant feelings and behaviors that accompanied them 4. Debate, dispute, and discard the beliefs in C 5. Write down the effect of filling in D, and how your beliefs have shifted

EQ Value  Creativity  Stress Management  Decision Making  Relationship Building  Can be enhanced  What else is important to you?

High/Low Stephen KingCherPresident George Bush Oprah Winfrey Helen KellerShannon O’Brien Scarlett O’HaraRudolph Giuliani Cosmo KramerGeorge Costanza Frasier Crane, PhD Britney Spears Winona RyderMichael JordanPresident Bartlet, The West Wing Harry Potter

Additional Resources  The EQ Edge, Steven J. Stein, PhD and Howard E. Book, MD: Stoddard, 2000  Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman