Understanding Your Communication Style Chapter Three Understanding Your Communication Style

Chapter Preview: Understanding Your Communication Style Style bias and its effect on interpersonal relations Benefits of understanding communication styles Elements of communication style model Identifying preferred style Style flexing

Communication Style Communication style—patterns of behavior that others can observe Understanding your style…. achieve greater self-awareness develop more effective interpersonal relations greater sensitivity to and tolerance for others’ styles essential for managing key relationships self others member of a group

Fundamental Concepts Individual differences exist and are important i.e., gestures, assertiveness, expression each person has unique style identify by careful observation Differences tend to be stable Jung’s Psychological Types born with disposition that is exercised and developed over least preferred preferences

Fundamental Concepts Four basic styles Intuitor, thinker, feeler, and sensor Similar characteristics within style Style is a way of thinking and behaving Not an ability Is a preferred way of using abilities or style

Fundamental Concepts Productive relationships are developed by being in sync with others Important advantage when understanding others’ Adapting is style flexing

Communication Style Bias A common form of prejudice More likely when styles differ What can you do? Develop an awareness of your own style Learn to assess the style of others Learn to adapt your own style to theirs “Speaking the other person’s language” is essential for relationship skills

Total Person Insight Everyone has had the experience of saying or doing something that was perfectly acceptable to a friend or coworker and then being surprised when the same behavior irritated someone else. David W. Merrill and Roger H. Reid Personal Styles and Effective Performance

Communication Style Model Two important dimensions of style: Dominance Sociability The tendency to display a “take-charge” attitude an important dimension in interpersonal relationships Everyone falls somewhere on the dominance continuum

The Dominance Continuum • more cooperative • give advice freely • eager to assist others • initiate demands • less assertive • more assertive • more willingly controlled • seek control Figure 3.1 Dominance Continuum

Determining Your Preferred Style Identify yourself on the dominance continuum Ask four or five people who know you well to identify you on the continuum No best place to be Successful people can be found on all points Both ends are necessary and important at times

Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form

Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued)

Figure 3.2 Dominance Indicator Form (continued)

Flexibility Is Important Low on dominance more assertive temporarily to achieve an objective learn to be responsive without giving up convictions High on dominance curb strong opinions and limit demands to establish cooperative relationships

The Sociability Continuum Sociability is a tendency to seek and enjoy social relationships measures if you control or express feelings Determining your preferred style Identify yourself on the dominance continuum Identify yourself on the sociability continuum Ask four or five people who know you well to identify you on the continua

Figure 3.3 - Sociability Continuum • expresses feelings • open and talkative • enjoys personal associations • controls feelings • more reserved and formal in relationships Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-HallInc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Figure 3.4 - Sociability Indicator Form

Figure 3.4 - Sociability Indicator Form (continued)

Figure 3.4 - Sociability Indicator Form (continued) Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ

Where Should You Be? No best place to be Successful people are everywhere along the sociability continuum Flexibility is important Low sociability may need to be more expressive to avoid perception of indifference or unconcerned High sociability may need to curb exuberance if more formal environment is required

Communication Styles Model The model represents four communication styles: emotive director reflective supportive Two factors: dominance sociability Model will help identify your most preferred style

Figure 3.5 - When the dominance and sociability dimensions are combined, the framework for communication style classification is established. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Figure 3.6 - The emotive style combines high sociability and high dominance. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Emotive Style Displays spontaneous, uninhibited behavior Displays the personality dimension described as extroversion Possesses a natural persuasiveness

Figure 3.7 - The director style combines high dominance and low sociability. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Projects a serious attitude Expresses strong opinions Director Style Projects a serious attitude Expresses strong opinions May project indifference

Figure 3.8 - The reflective style combines low dominance and low sociability. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Expresses opinions in a formal, deliberate manner Seems preoccupied Reflective Style Expresses opinions in a formal, deliberate manner Seems preoccupied Prefers orderliness

Figure 3.9 - The supportive style combines low dominance and high sociability. Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Makes and expresses decisions in a thoughtful, deliberate manner Supportive Style Listens attentively Avoids the use of power Makes and expresses decisions in a thoughtful, deliberate manner

Identify Yourself? Nobody conforms completely to one style Only one dimension of a personality Only deals with behaviors that others can observe May be able to identify the style least like yourself

Variation Within Your Communication Style Preferred styles vary in intensity Zones radiate outward from the center These dimensions are intensity zones Boundary between zones are not a permanent barrier People use "style flexing"

Figure 3.10 - Communication Style Intensity Zones Source: Gerald L Manning and Barry Reece, Selling Today: Creating Customer Value, Ninth Edition, Copyright © 2004. Adapted by permission of Prentice-Hall Inc., Upper Saddle River, NJ.

Variation Within Your Communication Style Zone I Display behaviors with less intensity May be difficult to identify the style Not be as obvious in their gestures, tone of voice, speech patterns, or emotional expressions Zone 2 Display behaviors with greater intensity Can sometimes observe behavior change when upset or angry

Variation Within Your Communication Style Excess Zone Characterized by intensity and rigidity Can also be labeled the "danger" zone Often inflexible and lacks versatility Extreme intensity in any quadrant can interfere with good human relations People may move into the excess zone when stressed, threatened, or insecure

Table 3.1 - Behaviors Displayed in the Excess Zone

Tips on Style Identification of Others Focus on observable behavior The best clues are nonverbal: Gestures, posture, facial expressions, and speech patterns Determine where the person falls on the sociability and dominance continuums This is a process, do not rush to identify Different situations will bring out different behaviors

Versatility: The Third Dimension Versatility means acting in ways that gain a social endorsement Makes others feel comfortable Is independent of style Style flexing Deliberate attempt to change or alter style to meet the needs of another person Temporary effort to act in harmony with other communication styles

Total Person Insight The best way to break a habit is to establish another habit. For example, if you’re a constant talker, stop talking. Work at it. Kimberly Alyn and Bob Phillips Authors, Annoying People

Strategies for Adapting Your Style Identify the style of the other person Think of ways to flex your style to gain a social endorsement Several style adaptation strategies

Flexing to an Emotive Style Take time to build a social as well as a business relationship Display interest in a person’s ideas, interests, and experiences Do not place too much emphasis on details Maintain a fast and spontaneous pace

Flexing to a Director Style Be specific, brief, and to the point Present the facts logically and be prepared to provide specific answers Maintain fast and decisive pace Project strength and confidence Messages should be short and to the point

Flexing to a Reflective Style Be well organized Be straightforward and direct Be accurate and realistic when presenting information Messages should be detailed and precise Speak slowly and systematically

Flexing to a Supportive Style Show a sincere interest Identify areas of common interests Draw out other’s personal goals and views Listen and be responsive Do not be pushy Put priority on relationship building

Style Flexing: Pitfalls and Possibilities If sincere and honest, style flexing can: help build constructive relationships be a valuable, productive strategy be especially critical when something important is at stake Do not label others classify strengths and preferences, not people Do not let your own label become rigid

Strength/Weakness Paradox There is no best communication style each has unique strong points People have problems when they overextend the strengths of their style Customizing your style can require learning to overcome your strengths

Chapter Review Style bias and its effect on interpersonal relations Communication styles are patterns of behaviors that are observable to others Way of responding to people and events Bias is likely to surface when someone's style is distinctly different from your own

Chapter Review Benefits of understanding communication styles Knowing your style will help you achieve greater self-awareness and develop more effective interpersonal relations with others Accurate self-knowledge is the starting point for effectiveness at work

Chapter Review Summary The communication style model is formed by two dimensions dominance and sociability Four communication Styles Emotive Director Reflective Supportive

Chapter Review Summary Identifying your preferred style Rate yourself on each scale (dominance and sociability) Ask others to complete these forms for you Style flexing A third dimension—versatility You can adjust your own style to others Keep an open mind about others Don’t typecast or judge