Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Individual Leadership: Understanding Your Communication Style Session 5 Anita Verna Crofts Elisabeth Mitchell

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Listening/Learning Styles Visual Auditory Kinesthetic We use these modes to help us determine our message and how we will communicate it to others. We also use these modes to determine what it is that other people are really telling us. - Michael Shadow

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Listening/Learning Styles Most of us have a combination of Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic modes When you are speaking to a group of people or listening to an individual, what can you do to give each “mode” in your audience what it needs so that they will understand your message?

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Visual Listeners/Learners Learn best by seeing things Respond to color, shapes, and language that reflects this Influenced by body language, eye contact, and facial expressions

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Visual Examples Photos Charts and graphs Colored font Graphic images

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Auditory Listeners/Learners Learn best by hearing things Respond to an organized and well paced delivery of information Influenced by the tone, pitch, and volume of someone’s voice

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Auditory Examples Talking through an issue “out loud” Music Using the phone for a conversation instead of sending an or a letter Reading a piece of writing out loud to better understand it

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Kinesthetic Listeners/Learners Learn while active: touch, feel, do! Respond to activities where they move and experiment, or alternatively, language that is inspires the idea of movement Influenced by the tactile aspects of learning: “hands on approach”

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Kinesthetic Examples Pacing to help you think Learning a skill by using your hands Prefer a demonstration over a written set of instructions Reacting to “gut feelings” in decision- making

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Why are these modes important? To be understood, we must tailor our speech and hearing to the mode of the listener To learn best, we must understand our preferred “mode” of receiving information Given that most people learn in multiple modes, we must work to include a variety in how we communicate with others

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Individual Listening/Learning Style Even though we use multiple modes every day, most of us have a strong preference for either Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic. Identifying that preferred mode is yourself an others is part of the leadership process

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Intersection of Listening and Leadership How to be an active listener

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Characteristics of Successful Leaders open-minded good listeners flexible – can adapt and readjust systematic in giving and receiving feedback communicates well (shares vision, brings others along, shares information, receives new information) creative inclusive institute self-education/learning take action to make change

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Effective Listening Skill Survey

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Why don’t we listen? We are busy! Distractions Thinking of other things Thinking about what we’ll say next Want to immediately problem-solve We think faster than we speak

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Kinds of Listening Competitive/Combative Passive or Attentive (but doesn’t take action) Active or Reflective

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Active Listening Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others. It focuses on the speaker.

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Benefits of Active Listening Avoid or clarify misunderstandings Resolve conflict Build trust Get staff (and others) to talk Get more information to be better able to persuade, influence, and negotiate

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Listening with a Purpose Listen to understand What’s behind the words? Listen for feelings Pay attention to body language Paraphrase

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 What must happen first? Understand your communication style Be aware of your non-verbal communication Be aware of your position and how that affects how others listen to you What are you modeling? What kind of environment to you want to create?

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Understand your communication style Know yourself. Practice subjectivity. Be aware that the meanings and use of facts and language are relative. Be aware of your position. Risk honesty in communication.

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 The person who is actively listened to will FEEL HEARD

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Ability to Listen is Affected By: –What is being communicated –Who is communicating it –Whether or not we feel it is our problem –Time – Place – Situation (and history)

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 How to do it? –Stop talking. –Put person at ease. –Show the person you want to hear them. –Show agreement but ask questions if you don’t understand. –Listen to understand. (Not just for your turn!)

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 –Remove distractions –Stand in their shoes. Empathize. –Be patient. –Be aware of your emotions. –Be slow to disagree, criticize, or argue.

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 –Be slow to solve the problem or to minimize it. –Be quick to paraphrase. – Stop talking (even in your head!).

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 The Listening Response Acknowledges what the other person says Tests the meaning with the other person Encourages the other person to say more Explores the other person’s perspective

Blue Nile State L/M Training Part I February 2-6, 2008 Active Listening Adapted from: UW Cascade Center for Public Service: “Interpersonal and Communication Skills June 8, Prof. John Boehrer. UW Training and Development, “Facilitative Leadership” Winter Jonathan Halperin Great Question! ™ Practicing the Art of asking Enlightening questions that Empower People to Excel in every aspect of life. Carolyyn Conlinn.