Module #8: Additional Resources to Involve Parents in the 4-H Program “I’m a 4-H Parent…Now What?” Indiana 4-H Parent Resource Series for Extension Educators, Volunteers, and Parents Compiled by Steve McKinley, Extension Specialist, Leadership & Volunteerism “The family is the setting in which 4-H occurs.” 1

Objective: Locate resources to help 4-H parents become positively and actively involved in the 4-H Program. Question to answer: What other resources are available to help involve parents in 4-H? 2

Sullivan County 4-H Family Guide 3

LaPorte County 4-H Family Guide  Based on Sullivan County’s Guide, with the addition of a 4-page list of 4-H Terms used in LaPorte County  Posted on County 4-H Web site, referred to in newsletters, distributed to club leaders and at enrollment nights, kept in brochure rack in Extension Office 4

5 Porter County 4-H Parent Page hparentpage_main.htm

Starke County 4-H Parent Letters  Information letter following enrollment  Follow-up letter prior to the 4-H Fair 6

Parents’ 4-H Pledge I pledge my…  HEAD to give my child the information I can, to help him/her see things clearly and to make wise decisions.  HEART to encourage and support my child no matter whether he/she has successes or disappointments.  HANDS to help my child's club; if I cannot be a volunteer, I can help in many equally important ways.  HEALTH to keep my child strong and well for a better world through 4-H, for my child's club, our community, our country, and our world. 7

Parents’ Anti-4-H Pledge I pledge my…  HEAD to force my ideas on others whether they are welcome or not.  HEART to meet my needs over the needs of others.  HANDS to do the work for my kids so they will be a positive reflection of me.  HEALTH to self-righteous living because I know what is best for my club, my community, my country, and my world. 8

"Ten Commandments for Parents"  "Doing the right thing" as a parent isn't always easy. However, the following list of "Ten Commandments" can act as a guide for parents when it comes to teaching their children about the responsibilities of raising and showing animals. (Written for livestock, but applicable to all projects!) 9

"Ten Commandments for Parents"  Thou shalt not feed, train, and care for the animal, for thou art trying to teach the child responsibility.  Thou shalt forgive a child for making mistakes in the show ring, for thou hath made mistakes too.  Thou shalt not get mad when thy child forgets items in the show box, for one day thou may forget the show box.  Thou shalt help the show management for they are doing a job that thou would not want to do.  Thou shalt see that thy child is on time for all show activities for thou would not want to wait on another. 10

"Ten Commandments for Parents"  Thou shalt be sure that thy child has the animals entered and the registration papers in order by the designated time.  Thou shalt teach the child that winning a blue ribbon is a desirable goal, but making friends along the way is a more worthy goal.  Thou shalt not complain about the judge for it is their opinion that has been sought.  Thou shalt remember that livestock projects are teaching projects, not necessarily money-making projects.  Thou shalt remember that the livestock project is a family project that shall be enjoyed and supported by the entire family. 11

Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO take time to learn about 4-H, what it stands for and how it operates.  DO advise your son or daughter in selecting 4-H projects. Help them select a project they are interested in, have the ability to accomplish and is one for which you can help furnish needed materials, facilities, financing and guidance. 12

Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO show your interest and enthusiasm for the 4-H projects selected. Find out what is suggested for members to do and learn. Encourage your child to work on the project and record keeping all year long, and not to wait until the last minute.  DO encourage your child to participate in county and state events, such as public presentations, camp, fair, workshops and other activities. 13

Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO keep the purpose of the 4-H project in perspective. Realize that a project is simply a teaching tool and a method for involving boys and girls in a worthwhile activity. Above all, remember that your child is more important than the 4-H project.  DO give encouragement when your 4-H’er succeeds and even more when he/she fails. Judging and awards are not final exams. Whatever ratings are given or scores received, help your child to see progress made, things that have been learned, and goals that have been reached. 14

Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DO keep in mind that the most important goal of 4-H is personal growth of the individual.  DO volunteer to share your hobbies and talents with 4-H members.  DO be tactful—with 4-H volunteers, educators, judges, and your child.  DO remember that 4-H volunteers and judges are often volunteering their own time for the benefit of your child; don’t forget to show them your appreciation.  DO ask questions! 15

Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DON’T do your child’s project for them, even though you may be able to do it faster, better, simpler and with much less mess.  DON’T discourage a child’s enthusiasm by providing too much corrective influence or criticism.  DON’T let the desire to win overpower your child’s ability to learn. Do keep in mind that the 4-H experience should be an educational one. 16

Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent  DON’T schedule family vacations which conflict with your child’s 4-H schedule.  DON’T re-live your childhood experiences through your child.  DON’T view your child as an extension of yourself. Don’t view his/her success or failure as a reflection of your ability or worth.  DON’T assume your child is always right (or always wrong). 17

Parent Resource Reference List  NOTE: A number of resources are available to provide support to volunteers and parents regarding parent involvement in 4-H. These documents are available on the U: drive unless otherwise noted. Bovitz, L.K. (2004, November). “4-H Parent’s/Guardian’s Pledge.” Seminar conducted at National Association of Extension 4-H Agents, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. “4-H Parent Interest Survey.” Mississippi State University Cooperative Extension Service. 18

Parent Resource Reference List “Involving Parents in 4-H,” 4-H Volunteer Leaders’ Series, University of Arkansas Extension. cations/HTML/4- H_Volunteer_Leaders_Series/4HCG1.asp cations/HTML/4- H_Volunteer_Leaders_Series/4HCG1.asp McKinley, S. (2005). “4-H Handbook Scavenger Hunt”. Purdue University. West Lafayette, Indiana. 19

Parent Resource Reference List Osborne, L.J. (2004, November). “Plan to Involve Parents.” Seminar conducted at 2004 North Central Region Volunteer Forum, Indianapolis, Indiana. “Parents Anti-4-H Pledge”, source unknown “Parents 4-H Pledge”, source unknown Potter, T. (2003, June). “Dig-in Form for Parents,” Involving 4-H Parents. Government of Alberta. 20

Parent Resource Reference List Powell, G. (1994). “The Do’s and Don’ts of Being a 4-H Parent,” New Jersey 4-H Leader Training Series. Rutgers University. h/e148/ pdf h/e148/ pdf Purdue University, State 4-H Youth Development Program. (Revised 1/10). “4-H Parent (Home Helper) Position Description.” West Lafayette, Indiana. 21

Parent Resource Reference List Purdue University, State 4-H Youth Development Program. (2001, June). “Parents,” Indiana 4-H Leader Guide. (4-H 685-W). West Lafayette, Indiana. Smith, B.A. (1998). “4-H Parent’s Window of Work.” Rutgers University. “Ten Commandments for 4-H Parents”, source unknown 22