Influencing Others: If I Only Had the Power… Session 4106 Presented by Doug D. Whittle, Partner The Diagonal Group, LLC

Areas we will cover Strategies for overcoming resistance Concepts of influencing The art of selling Challenges of influencing

Truths There is no silver bullet One size does not fit all Persuasion, influence & negotiation… both a skill and an art Practice makes perfect

You can not control others You can control yourself You accept responsibility for your actions, reactions, decisions, and emotions You share responsibility for the success of your team You must agree

Power? Authority?

Positional Power

8. Lead & Make It Happen 7. Find Solutions 6. “Own It” 5. Acknowledge Reality 4. Wait & Hope 3. “I can’t” - Excuses 2. Blame Others 1. Unaware / Unconscious powerless POWERFUL

When you think you are powerful, you are. When others think you are powerful, you are.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.

Stakeholder Anyone with a vested interest in the outcome of your mission & initiatives Interest groups to whom your organization is accountable You have more than one!

Stakeholder questions Level of support?Low, Medium, High? Your needs?What do you want? Their needs? What do they want? How can they block? What can you offer? Your strategy? How can you enhance this stakeholder’s support? Individual Stakeholde r

Positioning

IF… You have the expertise. Others need your help. They don’t necessarily know they need your help. You want to get something done for the good of your organization but aren’t necessarily in charge of the resources to do it…

Salesperson

40% Close 30% Present 20% Qualify 10% Trust Trust 40% Qualify 30% Present 20% Close 10% Two models of selling

it is! what It is Reality

Top salesperson Q ualities 6

Knowledge SUCCESSSUCCESS Attitudes Skills Behaviors

Before the sale begins Identifying needs Proposing Dealing with resistance Gaining commitment Follow-up

Sell unto others as you would be sold unto. X THEYTHEYTHEYTHEY

Color quadrants structured detailed realistic challenging bold big safe thoughtful value-based fantastic passionate beyond your wildest dreams

Demonstrated behaviors questioning deliberate cautious precise formal strong-willed competitive demanding determined purposeful caring patient sharing relaxed encouraging sociable dynamic persuasive enthusiastic demonstrative

…on a bad day suspicious indecisive reserved stuffy cold overbearing aggressive controlling intolerant driving bland docile reliant stubborn plodding hasty frantic excitable indiscreet flamboyant

Let’s do it RIGHT Let’s do it NOW Let’s do it in a CARING way Let’s do it TOGETHER

cautious precise deliberate questioning formal analytical competitive demanding determined strong-willed purposeful driver caring encouraging sharing patient relaxed amiable sociable dynamic demonstrative enthusiastic persuasive expressive DO IT TO- GETHER DO IT WITH CARING DO IT RIGHT DO IT NOW

If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard them as a fool. - CG Jung

 be entertaining & stimulating e friendly & sociable e open & flexible ore me with details  ask me to work alone  tie me down with routine Do not Do Approaching and Communicating

 be well prepared & thorough  let me consider the details  put things in writing  get too close or hug me  be flippant on important issues  change my routine without notice Do not Do Approaching and Communicating

 be patient & supportive  give me time to answer  work at my pace  ask my opinion  spring last minute surprises  push me to make quick decisions  take advantage of my good nature Do not Do Approaching and Communicating

 be bright, brief and be gone e direct & to the point  focus on results  try to take over  hesitate or waffle  focus on feelings Do not Do Approaching and Communicating

Current State Desired State

Current State Desired State

Denial ResistanceExploration Commitment Anger Checking Out

People don’t resist change… …they resist being changed Edgar Schein

RESISTANCE I don’t get it! I don’t like it! I don’t like you! Reasons for

Not their idea Fear of losing face Too much too fast Unmet interest Barriers Others See Barriers to agreement

RESISTANCERESISTANCE Helping others through Involve the other side –A–Ask for and build on their ideas Ask for constructive criticism –H–How might we...? Offer choices and alternatives Not my Idea!

RESISTANCERESISTANCE Helping others through Walk in their shoes –W–Would I agree to this if I were them? –W–Why? Why not? Review basic human needs –L–Look for intangible motivations that drive their behavior Look for low cost, high benefit trades If-then bargains Unmet interests

RESISTANCERESISTANCE Helping others through Help them back away without backing down Show how circumstances have changed Ask for third-party recommendation Provide testimonials Share credit Give them the limelight Fear of losing face

RESISTANCERESISTANCE Helping others through Go slow to go fast Pilot project? Don’t ask for final commitment until the end Don’t rush to the finish *Caution: verbal contracts Too much, too fast

Overcoming resistance Fear Confusion Frustration Resignation Insurmountable Over Committing Resistance to Change Unrealistic Expectations Options! Vision! Collaboration! Pride! Milestones! Client-Focused! Ownership! Accountability!

High Medium Low HighMediumLow Commitment Impact Involve Involve Involve Seek Advice Seek Advice Seek Advice Seek Advice Stakeholder Impact Hands-on Hands-on Involve Involve Inform Inform Seek Advice Seek Advice Involve Involve

Options Avoid a single solution Generate new possibilities Invent first, evaluate later

B est A lternative T o a N egotiated A greement

BATNA guidelines Deploy your BATNA without provoking Use the minimum power necessary Try building a coalition Try to figure out their possible BATNA’s in advance so you can prepare

Options Live With Content With Aspire To

Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.

? What is your culture?

? What are your politics?

? Do you take risks?

Risks exist What’s the risk of acting? –W–What do you risk when you speak out on an issue in your organization? What’s the risk of NOT acting? –W–What are you putting on the line that you might lose?

The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.” -Jawaharlal Nehru

At any moment… Sponsor …commitment Manager …exploration Front Line …denial/resistance “What’s the holdup?” “It might work if…” “No Way!” TIME

At any moment… TIME

At any moment… TIME

? How do you define success?

Know your barriers What is the #1 barrier you face? Is it self-imposed? What is it… person, business, process, organizational, technology, etc.? Who knows about it? Do you already know the solution? What are the other barriers in your path?

Address behaviors not pe rsonalities

Fire Aim Ready Fire Aim Ready

Speak when you are angry… and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce

People follow by example …Know the shadow YOU cast!

Stop Continue Start

“Nothing worthwhile can be accomplished without determination… Good ideas are not adopted automatically. They must be driven into practice with courageous patience.

Doug D. Whittle, PhD For more information The Diagonal Group, LLC

Thank you for attending! Please remember to complete and return your evaluation form following this session. Session Code: 4106