Do Now:  Update your 25 Books Log and Genre Chart.  Take out the Rough Draft of your personal narrative and a red pen. Please print a copy if you haven’t.

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Presentation transcript:

Do Now:  Update your 25 Books Log and Genre Chart.  Take out the Rough Draft of your personal narrative and a red pen. Please print a copy if you haven’t.  Put your laptop on your storage shelf.

Personal Narrative Revision Show, not Tell Adding dialogue, detail, and description

Dialogue  Use dialogue to bring the people in your story to life –Find at least one place to add dialogue or your thoughts  Use vivid verbs instead of “said”  Make sure your dialogue sounds realistic –Would this person really say that? –Does their speech reveal their personality?

Detail  Detailed, specific actions can bring your story to life  Use sensory details to paint a picture in your reader’s mind –Sight –Sound –Touch –Taste –Smell  Find at least two places to add a sensory detail

Description  Have you described: –The people in your story? –The setting? –Your thoughts and feelings?  Use strong, powerful adjectives and adverbs.  Replace overused words like good, bad, fun, nice, awesome, etc. with more specific terms. –She’s an awesome friend. –She’s a kind and thoughtful person, who always notices the feelings of others.

FLOW  Does your story make sense and flow from beginning to middle to end?  Do you vary the length of your sentences? –Long sentences are good for description –Short sentences are better for bringing the reader’s attention to a specific part of the story