Chapter 7 Becoming Gendered: The Early Years Gendered Lives Chapter 7 Becoming Gendered: The Early Years

Today We Will Discuss: I. Entering a gendered society II. Gendering communication in the family III. The personal side of the gender drama

I. Entering a gendered society A. Self-as-object = ability to think, reflect, and respond to ourselves 1st it’s external Next, we internalize Their views become key to how see ourselves Cooley (1902)Looking Glass Self- the process of developing a self-image on the basis of the messages we get from others, as we understand them. 1.We imagine how we appear to others; 2. We imagine what their judgment of that appearance must be; 3. We develop our self through the judgments of others ,some self-feeling, such as pride or mortification, as a result of our imagining others' judgment. Gender is one of first senses of self we develop

DO YOU WANT TO LOOK DIFFERENTLY TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE?

B. Monitoring We are able to monitor ourselves We observe and regulate our attitudes and behaviors We are reminded of what others have told us we are supposed to think, do, look like, feel Personal identity is social Influenced by family and society Even when we don’t identify with prevailing social perspectives

II. Gendering Communication in the Family Families are a primary influence on gender identity A. Unconscious Process: Identification and Internalization 1. Freud’s Psychoanalitic Theory “Anatomy is destiny”

Freud’s Birthplace and Childhood home Pribor, present day Czech Republic

Sigmund Freud (1856–1939) Pictured here in 1884

The Structure of Personality ID EGO Psychoanalytic theory concerns how people cope with their sexual and aggressive instincts within the constraints of a civilized society. One part of the mind creates urges, another has a sense of what civilized society expects, and another part of the mind tries to satisfy the urges within the bounds of reality and society. These parts of the mind are in constant interaction. They have different goals, provoking internal conflicts within an individual. SUPEREGO

The Structure of Personality The Id Most primitive part of the mind; what we are born with Source of all drives and urges Operates according to the pleasure principle and primary process thinking The pleasure principle is the desire for immediate gratification. Primary process thinking is thinking without logical rules of conscious thought or an anchor in reality.

The Structure of Personality The Ego The part of the mind that constrains the id to reality Develops around 2-3 years of age Mediates between the id and superego (environment) The ego recognizes under the reality principle that the urges of the id are often in conflict with social and physical reality. The ego engages in secondary process thinking which refers to the development and devising of strategies for problem solving and obtaining satisfaction.

The Structure of Personality The Superego The part of the mind that internalizes the values, morals, and ideals of society Develops around age 5 The superego determines what is right and what is wrong, and enforces this through the emotion of guilt. It sets the moral goals and ideals of perfection.

                                                                                                                                                                 

Sigmund and Anna Freud (1895 – 1982)

A. Unconscious Processes: Identification & Internalization Summarize Freud: Unconscious dynamics comes from psychoanalytic theories Person’s core identity shaped in early years of life Biology determines which parent the child will identify with Will determine how child’s psyche develops No empirical support for Freud’s theory More recent scholars say… Females do not envy penis May envy power it symbolizes

A. Unconscious Processes: Identification & Internalization 2. Earliest stages of life Primary caregiver Children of both sexes form first identification with adult woman Around 3, male and female development diverge Cognitive theory Girls continue to identify with mother Value relationships Boys lessen identification with mother Value independence

A. Unconscious Processes: Identification & Internalization Current Family Trends Fathers in our era Children of single-parents - difficulty finding models of both genders Single-father-child discussions tend to be more elaborate than…

B. Ego Boundaries Ego boundaries = the point of which the individual stops and rest of world begins Linked to gender identity Feminine gender identity Interconnected Masculine gender identity Autonomous What traits would this perception facilitate???

How does this perspective impact our relationships?

C. Parental Communication about Gender This ties in with the social and cognitive theory Parents’ communication towards sons and daughters reflect the parents’ gender stereotypes _?_are rewarded for being helpful, nurturing, deferential At times for being assertive, athletic, smart Middle-class Caucasian parents Chicano families Asian families _?_ are rewarded for being competitive, independent, assertive

C. Parental Communication about Gender Within 24 hours of birth, parents respond to babies in terms of gender Boys = strong, hardy, big, active, alert Girls = small, dainty, delicate

C. Parental Communication about Gender Mothers’ communication focuses on providing comfort, security, emotional development More emotional talk with their daughters Daughters disclose more information to parents Fathers encourage gender-appropriate behaviors Talk more with daughters Engage in more activities with sons

C. Parental Communication about Gender Mothers play with children at children’s level Today’s fathers are more involved Encourage initiative, achievement Fathers’ communication has strong impact on self-esteem

C. Parental Communication about Gender Parents also communicate gender expectations through toys, clothes, and chores Gender socialization more rigid for boys than for girls Parents who limit toys limit children’s development of various ways of thinking and interacting

D. Parental Modeling 1. Parents most visible models of masculinity and femininity a. Families in our era much more diverse Single parents provide more multifaceted models More women live without a spouse than with one 1950:35% 2000: 49% 2007: 51% Black women: 70% Hispanic women: 49% Non-Hispanic: 55%

b. The Role of the Breadwinner 1970: 40% of married women worked outside of the home 2000: the percentage reversed! 2007: 53% of mothers with infants…75% of mothers with school-aged children… 1/2 of white men and 1/3 of black men bring in at least 70% of family income 30% of women in dual-worker family make more money than their male partner

c. Same-Sex Couples Gay and lesbian parents becoming more visible 2000: 1% 33% women 22% men d. Blended families common Children can observe more diverse ideas of how families can work and gender can be embodied

e. Parents model attitudes about gender & appearance Fathers who workout encourage sons to play sports Mothers remark about their weight and eating habits How do their comments indirectly effect their sons and daughters????? Children are also listening to parents compliments and arguments. How does this influence a child’s idea of gender? Personal gender identity changes over time as they develop and interact with diverse people

III. The personal side of the gender drama A. Growing up Masculine (6 themes of masculinity) 1. Don’t be female 2. Be successful 3. Be sexual 4. Be self-reliant 5. Aggression 6. Embrace traditional masculine traits but also be sensitive and egalitarian

a. The Downside to Growing Up Masculine Men who do not measure up may experience depression More than 6 million Unwilling to seek help due to views of masculinity Men 4 times more likely to commit suicide

B. Growing Up Feminine 1. Two versions of femininity exist today Women now have it all It is not possible to have it all WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE???

2. 5 Themes of Femininity Appearance still counts Be sensitive and caring Negative treatment by others The age 10 -14 Be superwoman  There is NO single meaning of feminine anymore

C. Growing Up Outside Conventional Gender Roles For people who do not identify with and perform normative gender, sex, sexuality – growing up can be difficult Gay men may be ostracized and Lesbians can be scorned Transgendered socially isolated Up to 3 million Hard to find role models Hard to find acceptance

Growing Up Outside Conventional Gender Roles